The player that fell In Love
by SpiderMonkey92
Summary: Bella and Edward don't get on, Bella the Cullens & Hales are bestfreinds. They all go out clubbing, Edward realises that he has feelings for Bella, Bellas meets James and they share a kiss, has Edward left it too late to admit his feelings for Bella?
1. Make Over

**A/N Don't you just hate boy's that think their all it?**

**Well this is one of those stories.**

**Please read........!**

**Chapter 1**

**Make Over**

BPOV

Alice- "Bella get you ass out here now"

Bella- "Please Alice don't make me go out like this"

Two months ago, I moved from phoenix to a wet little landmark on a map called Forks. Since I came here my two best friends Alice Cullen and Rosalie Hale, have been dressing me up at the weekends, but have never actually made me leave the house, which I was thankful for because the close they dressed me up in were way out of my comfort zone, short skirts, strapless tops, skimpy dresses and then there was the make-up and the mad hairstyles. My usual style was jeans and hoodies, the madder the colours the better, but tonight was the first time they wanted me to leave the house, the way they had dressed me.

Alice had finished curling my hair and had turned away to out the curling tongs away and Rosalie had turned to the dresser to pick a lip gloss that she thought would go with my outfit, when I jumped up from the chair in which I had been sitting for the past hour, I ran to the bathroom and locked the door, I turned to look in the mirror and didn't recognise myself, I looked so different, and it was totally out of my comfort zone. Just then Alice was banging on the door,

Alice- "Bella get you ass out here now"

Bella- "Please Alice don't make me go out like this"

Rosalie- "Bella, you look gorgeous, what is wrong?"

Bella- "This is totally different than a pair of jeans and converse"

Alice- "Well DUH, Bella we're going clubbing"

Rosalie- "Come on Bells, you'll be fine"

Alice knew me too well,

Alice- "Bella if you don't come out, I'm not going either and Bella I really really really want to go"

I was a complete sucker for guilt trips,

Bella- "Damn you Alice"

As soon as I had stepped out of the bathroom Rosalie was attacking me with lip gloss,

Rosalie- "Bright pink perfect"

We were getting a lift with Alice's boyfriend Jasper Hale, Rosalie's brother and Rosalie was dating Alice's older brother Emmett, the five of us were best friends, we always got along never fell out and we were so close. Unfortunately for me Alice's other brother Edward was coming out with us, Edward and I never really met eye to eye, mainly because he was a ignorant pig who cared for no-one but himself, he was the school player anytime you saw Edward you would see his slut brigade. Although he was totally gorgeous and the best looking fella you would ever see he still got on my nerves.

We were all crammed into his Volvo, Emmett, Jasper, Rosalie and I was all crammed into the back while Alice sat up front. We got out of the car at the night club and both Emmett and Jasper pulled their coats off and put them over Alice and Rosalie. I was last to get out and I slowly got out at that because I was afraid of this freaking dress revealing too much, when I was finally out I was getting soaked I looked towards Edward who was standing staring at my legs, yeesh I hated him.

Bella- "Edward shut your mouth your catching flies"

He looked away from my legs to my face, and managed to close his mouth.

EPOV

Bella- "Edward shut your mouth your catching flies"

At this stage she was standing in front of the car, she looked so unbelievably sexy, I have never seen her dress like that, or seen her hair down or seen her in make-up, I couldn't move she literally took my breathe away. I wanted her like I've wanted no other girl, this was the first time I have seen her clearly.

Since she moved here we have never got on, I never knew why that was but I never made any attempt to find out, we never spoke only when we had too. She stood there staring back at me, she was getting wet I noticed that Jasper and Emmett had removed their coats and put them over Alice and Rosalie, so I walked up to Bella removing my coat she looked at me,

Bella- "Well it's a bit late now, I'm already soaking"

She started to walk after the others towards the club. Nearly had to run to catch up with them, I seriously can't believe I've never noticed how good looking Bella is before. I normally never gave girls any credit, they were there for me to use and that's what I done I used them, I got what I wanted and I was happy. We paid in and Alice and Jasper ran off to the dance floor followed by Emmett and Rosalie. While Bella went straight to the bar, I followed her, by the time I had got there she was ordering,

Bella- "vodka and red bull please"

Edward- "Make that two"

She looked at me, and I smiled at her showing my teeth that seemed to have an effect on most girls, she looked at me and it looked as if she had forgotten to breathe and then she gasped for air,

Bella- "O My God Cullen, what the fuck? You just dazzled me!"

She was still looking at me, I was in disbelief why did she not want to be dazzled by me, come on it was me the best looking man you are ever going to see.

Edward- "And what's wrong with that?"

Bella- "Because we hate each other!"

Edward- "And why is that?"

Bella- "I don't know you tell me"

We were shouting at each other, the couple beside us walked away, Bella lifted her drink

Bella- "Know what don't answer that, we will not fight tonight"

I wasn't planning on fighting with her tonight, she walked off and sat down I turned to pay the barman, I turned to see Bella still looking at me, I was on my way over to talk with her because I wanted to be with her and feel her close to me, just then Jessica Stanley walked up to me and kissed me.

BPOV

I had stormed off and sat on my own hoping he would follow me, I sat and stared at him and it looked as if he was actually coming towards me when out of know where Jessica Stanley came and started kissing him. I actually felt jealous, I had never once been jealous of any of his sluts, I never really wanted Edward, he was always a pain in the ass but when I saw the two of them I was definitely jealous. So I finished my drink and headed towards the dance floor, I imagined I was in my jeans and hoodie and started dancing with my eyes closed and went along with the music, I could feel hands on my waist and opened my eyes to see a very good looking man standing in front of me, he came closer and spoke into my ear

"Well hello, gorgeous what is your name?"

Bella- "Bella, what about you're self?"

"The name is James"

Bella- "Nice to meet you"

And we started dancing, just then the song changed, and 'Dirty' by 'Christina Aguilera' came on and we started dancing to that too, I was really enjoying myself and Edward and Jessica totally left my mind. When the song ended James came closer and asked

James- "Wana go get a drink?"

Bella- "Yea sure"

We made our way over to the bar

James- "A bottle of bud and what ever the pretty lady wants"

Bella- "Vodka and Red Bull please"

After we had got our drinks we stood talking and when they were gone we headed back to the dance floor. I seen Alice and Rosalie go into the toilets so I went in after them to talk to them.

Alice- "Well would you look who it is"

Bella- "I'm so sorry, After you's went off to dance I headed off to the bar, and Edward followed me and bought me a drink and then asked me why we hated each other then I stormed off and started dancing then I met James, and I'm sorry for ditching you's"

Rosalie- "Sorry did you just say that you and Edward spoke?"

Alice- "Edward as in my brother that you hate Edward?"

Bella- "Yea, he bought me a drink then asked me why we hated each other"

Rosalie- "O my Gosh was he coming on to you?"

Bella- "Yea right Rose look at me"

Alice- "We are, you look stunning, we seen you with James he is sooo after you"

Bella- "Really?"

Rosalie- "Yea, he can't take his eyes off you"

Bella- "Seriously?"

Alice- "What are you waiting for? Go get him tiger"

I turned to leave and I could hear them whisper

Alice- "Do you think Edward......

Rosalie- "I don't know, but we will find out"

I left them to their gossiping, I found James and we danced for another while, then the DJ announced that he was finishing up and played a slow song, we stood there dancing in slow circles and I was really enjoying my self. When the music finished we went to sit down James turned too me

James- "Bella I had a great night"

Bella- "Yea me too"

James- "Maybe we could do it again?"

Bella- "Yea I would like that a lot"

And then we were kissing I had no idea how long we sat there, but I could hear Alice giggling, I looked up and Emmett spoke

Emmett- "Ok Bells I can see your busy, meet you at the car"

And they walked off, Edward looked back before he left and through the dirtiest look towards James, O I will so ask him what his problem is when I get home. James walked me to the door and kissed me again, we swapped numbers and then I ran to the car because I still hadn't stopped raining yet.

We were all crammed din again, Alice and Rose were asking for all the details and I gave them to them.

**A/N Should Bella and James be together??**

**Please review!!**

**I need ideas!!**

**x.x.x**


	2. The date!

Chapter 2

The Date.

Once again Alice and Rosalie were dressing me and doing my hair and make-up, annoying thing is I am starting to like getting all dressed up; this is the second night in a row that I am going out. James had rang me this after noon asking if I would like to go for something to eat, I liked James, he was a lovely guy but he just wasn't my type, he didn't excite me, he didn't make my stomach fill with butterflies or he didn't make my knees go weak when I saw him, out of politeness I agreed, so that I could tell him that I was fond of him but just wanted to be friends, I think I owed him that much. So after I had got off the phone and left Alice's room in which I was hiding until I got my normal clothes back from Rose, Alice had decided to get rid of the clothes I had packed for today and fill my bag of new stuff, she had put in short skirts and strapless tops, I had moaned all morning until Rose gave in and went to get them for me. Alice had no idea yet, Rose valued her life too much to tell her, so I walked into the kitchen to see a disappointed Alice, who was sitting throwing dirty looked towards Rose.

Bella- "Alice don't blame her, I am not walking around this house on a Saturday afternoon looking like a prostitute."

Alice- "Are you saying I have a bad taste in clothes, they are not sluty!"

Bella- "No Alice I'm not saying you have a bad taste in clothes, but they are sluty, come on short skirts that hardly cover my ass, and strapless tops, for a Saturday."

Alice- "Bella. It's called making an effort!"

I thought this would be a good time to distract her,

Bella- "Well I have no-one to impress.....until 8:00 tonight!"

Every one was now looking at me, Rose and Alice where sitting with big grins on their faces, Emmett and Jasper had looked up from their arm wresting match, and Edward sat with his mouth hanging open and his food falling out.

Emmett- "Awwwh Bella has a date, is it that guy from last night?"

Bella- "Yea, why?"

Emmett-m "Jus wanted to know, he seems alright, just making sure he's good enough for my lil sis from anover movver!"

I hated it when he tried to talk all street like that, Emmett was always like a big brother to me by this stage Edward had finished his food, stormed out the front door and drove off in his Volvo.

Alice and Rose took me by the hand and brought me up stairs, I guessed it was time to start getting ready.

EPOV

I was too late, she would be going out with this James guy and she would never look at me twice, I had seen them together last night, they looked happy I suppose, he wasn't good enough for her though Emmett was wrong, She was too good for any man on this planet, what am I saying? Why am I so annoyed about this it's not as if I'm I love with the girl. Or am I? She is so beautiful, even though it doesn't show but I loved it when she comes round, just knowing I'm in the same house as her makes me feels better. She always does what ever Alice and Rose wants her to do, she wears the amazing clothes they dress her in, she will wear them around the house but like last night when it comes to going out in them it's a different story, why is that? Why does she not like showing off the amazing body that she has? I will definitely be talking to Alice about this, back to the problem in hand I can't bare for her to leave and go on a date tonight, and I don't want to let her out of my sight. So after I had drove to Port Angeles in my Volvo, and sat in a car park on my own for an hour, while all the time thinking of Bella, I have came to the conclusion that I am indeed in love with her.

But did I really have to let her out of my sight? I am going to go home and find out where James is bringing her, and then I will figure out what I can do from there. I drove up the drive way, and from Alice's window I could see Bella, she was looking so beautiful, she mustn't have realised it but she was standing right in front of the window in her under wear, it was a blue strapless Bra and matching, pants. Her body was so perfect, all I wanted to do now was make her mine, but she would never have me because of all the things I have said about girls, I constantly go on about the only thing they are useful for is sex, I know it pisses Bella off and I know if I say it around her I am guaranteed a reaction, normally she would sit and stare at me giving me dirty looks and I could sit and gaze into her deep brown eyes never wanting to be torn away from them.

I stormed in side, I was still so angry that some guy who had spent one night with her had made such a big impression on her, luckily my room was right next to Alice's so I could hear what they were saying.

BPOV

Alice and Rose knew straight away something was wrong with me,

Alice- "Come on Bell's what is wrong you should be looking forward to your date"

Bella- "I guess I may tell you, well James is a lovely guy and all but I just don't like him like that, so tonight I am going to tell him that I think he is great but I want to be friends"

Alice- "O right"

Bella- "Is it bad of me to let him think it's a date, should I ring him and tell him over the phone?"

Rosalie- "No Bella, it's good that you are telling him face to face, and if he is a nice as he seems he won't mind"

Bella- "I hope so; it's just that he isn't my type"

Alice- "O Bella has a type? Well what is your type then?"

Bella- "Well, I think what matters is, what's in the inside, I like a guy that understands things, that will listen to me, and talk with me and respect me and mostly love me, most boys I know just care for one thing but there is one I know quite well he is the same but I have a feeling it's all a show.........."

I had said too much, Alice had always tried to tell me that Edward was always nice on the inside. Truth is I did care for Edward more that I wish to admit, He was always making snide remarks about how girls are only good for one thing, sex! Well I always wanted to go over a hit him for it, but the though of hurting him would kill me, so I would sit and stare at him and through dirty looks, best thing is he would through dirty looks back so I could sit and look into his amazing green eyes.

Alice- "Bella, you aren't by any chance talking about Edward?"

Damn I knew I had said too much, of course she would guess, and it was pointless trying to lie to her because I couldn't lie for shit, that was always my weak point. Well I might as well confess, they wouldn't stop asking until they found out, Before I said anything I went to stand by the window, totally forgetting I was in my underwear,

Bella- "Yes I am,"

I was actually waiting for Alice to go mad, imagining that she would scream at me how gross it is that her best friend fancies her older brother, but she just sat a looked towards Rose and simply said

Alice- "Told ya so!"

Rose- "I never thought that you of all girls would fall for him"

Bella- "What can I do, I know we don't get along but I just feel so drawn to him, I can never keep my eyes off him, he totally amazes me, but I don't want him knowing because he would laugh at the fact the I Fancied him, so he must never know and he must also believe that this date is real!"

Alice- "O I am going to make him see what a catch you are, miss swan."

Then I looked out on the front street and seen a silver Volvo and then there was a door banging in the next room. He was back I froze realising that he probably saw me in my under wear. I walked over and sat on the bed, Alice and Rose were finishing my make up,

Alice- "So Bella you looking forward to meeting James?"

She winked at me and then whispered into my ear

Alice- "He will be listening to what we say, go along with it"

Bella- "Yea he is a really sound guy"

Rosalie- "Well he won't be able to let you go when we are finished!"

Going along with us. So we went on talking about how wonderful James was and how we were going to have a good night,

Alice- "So where is he bringing you?"

Bella- "La Bella Italia, I love that place they the most amazing mushroom ravioli"

Alice- "Now I'm in the mood to go out, I'm guna go hit Jasper for not being romantic enough"

And she walked out of the room, and disappeared. I was left with Rose who had insisted that I get my nails painted.

When I seen myself in the mirror I was so shocked, I was in a blue dress, it was strapless but it was longer than the one I wore last night it went to my knees, I loved it, I love the colour blue. Rose and I left and went to find Alice but when we were down stairs there was no Alice. So we sat for a while, I read the text that I sent to James making sure I gave him the right directions to the house. We waited in the sitting room, watching television with Jasper and Emmett, then Alice appeared but she didn't look happy she looked as if she were deeply thinking about something. Though she didn't look happy she still had a little grin playing on her lips. I didn't ask because I knew if she wanted to tell me she would have done by now. There was the sound of a car coming up the lane and I went to the mirror to check if I looked ok. I turned to see Emmett walking towards me with his arms open,

Emmett- "Bear hug for the road!"

Bella- "Thanks Emy Bear!"

We had our own names for each other,

Emmett- "No bother Bella Boo, by the way if you want me to come and pick you up lil sis, I'll be straight there, and if he tries something you don't want him to try call me and I'll sort him out."

Bella- "Thanks Emy but I have a feeling it won't work out that well!"

James was at the door I answered it and Emmett walked out behind me he was giving James the over protective big brother stare.

James opened my door for me and then got in his side. I decided not to say anything until we got into the restaurant.

EPOV

I could hear Alice say she was going to hit Jasper for not being romantic enough, but then I could hear a light knock on my door, I knew it was her that's the way she always knock went she wants to talk.

Alice- "Edward I know that you like her!"

Edward- "What are you on about Alice?"

Alice- "The way you have been looking at her the last few days, I know, don't deny it Edward"

Edward- "Seriously Alice what the fuck are you on about?"

Alice- "Edward Cullen, my patients are wearing thin with you; you have to tell Bella how you feel"

Edward- "O Bella"

Alice- "Yes Bella, Edward talk to me, it's what I'm here for"

Edward- "Alice I didn't know how I felt, until last night, I always felt curious about her, and wanted to be around her, I was instantly drawn to her, but never thought of her in that way."

Alice- "Until last night, when you saw her with James?"

Edward- "No before that, just when I saw her, I realised how stupid I've been, now I've left it too late, she's gone and won't look twice at a prick like me."

Alice- "Edward although you are a womanizer, you are not a prick, I know you, you are actually quite sweet, you look after me when I'm ill, you care for your family, you are a good guy, you just have to show her that side"

Edward- "It's too late"

Alice was on her feet now,

Alice- "It is not too late, do something about it"

Edward- "Like what Alice, how do I change her mind about me, how do I tell her I love her without freaking her out?"

Alice- "You love her?"

I hadn't realised I'd said that part out loud, well she'd guess soon enough.

Edward- "Yes Alice I 'm in love with her"

She came and hugged me,

Alice- "Edward Cullen the school player has fell in love with the girl he has fought with for the past two months"

She was laughing but it was quite ironic.

She disappeared down the stairs to find Bella before she left, just then I could hear a car on the front street, I knew it was James, and in an instant I was in the worst of bad moods again. I could hear Emmet, "by the way if you want me to come and pick you up lil sis, I'll be straight there, and if he tries something you don't want him to try to call me and I'll sort him out." the very first time Emmett met Bella, he instantly loved her as a sister, as well as Jasper, but he was more the annoying messing around brother. I felt jealous why I couldn't I have got on with Bella when we first met, maybe I would have realised how much I actually cared for her before it was too late. But as Alice had said it wasn't too late, then I had an idea, I grabbed the keys of my Volvo and took my coat of the bottom of my bed and ran out to my car

Alice- "Edward, don't mess up"

Alice Pov

Edward had finally admitted that he loved Bella, I knew they would be perfect for each other only they were both so stubborn, now he was away after her to try and tell her I hope, Bella looked stunning I just hoped that he wouldn't forget what he was trying to say when he seen her. I thought what Bella was doing was really brave, to go out with a guy and tell him you want to be friends, but I knew she could cope with it.

This had to work if that idiotic brother of mine messed this up I will kill him, but if he does then I am going to have to interfere.

BPOV

We were getting ready to order our food, and I seen the waitress eye James up, he smiled back and they shared a moment of looking into each others eyes, he then remembered he was with me. He looked at my sympathetically, I knew this was the time to tell him

Bella- "James, I really like you, and this is a lovely evening but I think that maybe we should just stay friends?"

He looked relieved,

James- "Bella, I think that is for the best, but we can still have dinner as friends, right?"

Bella- "Yes James, my friend lets have dinner"

We were both laughing, just then the waitress came back at she looked at James with the same goo goo eye he was looking at her with.

She took our orders and he turned to me

James- "Bella what should I do, that waitress is so nice, I think that maybe I might hmmmmm....."

I already knew what he was going to say,

Bella- "James, I know the way you two look at each other, follow my lead"

He looked at me confused, and I stood up and threw my glass of wine over him and shouted

Bella- "Look James this is not going to work, ok! I want a proper relationship, this is not going to work, I tried to make it work but we're over"

As I left I could see the waitress staring at me in disbelief, she went over to our table again giving James a cloth to dry himself she took my seat sitting opposite him. My plan had worked, I went to the pay phone because I had left my mobile on the charger at the Cullen's I phoned and after one ring Emmett answered

Emmett- "Hello"

Bella- "Hey Emy will you come pick me up?"

Emmett- "Of course Bella Boo, I'm on my way you ok?"

Bella- "Yes Emmett I 'm fine I'll explain when you get here"

Emmett- "Ok see you in 15 mins"

Bella- "Bye"

I went back to see how James was getting on, the waitress was sitting talking with him, I hope now he will get her number after all that drama. I was about to go wait by the road when I seen Edward walks up to James, what the fuck was he doing here? and why was he taking James by the neck?, I went in to stop him,

Edward- "How fucking dare you, do this to Bella, you fucking freak"

James- "What? Who are you?"

Edward- "A friend of Bella's"

James- "I don't know what you are on about, but you've got it wrong"

Bella- "Edward what the hell are you doing?"

Edward- "Sorry Bella, but James here is also entertaining this waitress"

Bella- "Yes Edward I know that, I left him to be with her, you stupid fucking dim witted eejit"

Wow that was a mouthful, by this stage he had let go of James, the waitress went to his side to help him up,

Bella- "Edward outside now!"

I roared at him and he listened, I must have sounded madder than I was because I have never had that effect over him.

Bella- "James, I'm so sorry, I had no idea he was here, never mind him, he's a prick, I'm so sorry!"

James- "It's ok Bella, I'll ring you tomorrow"

I liked it very much that James was ok being friends,

Bella- "Ok chat to you then, bye"

Gave the waitress and smile before I left. Edward was standing there on the street waiting on me,

Edward- "Bella, he was with another girl"

Bella- "I know, we just want to be friends, and I knew that him and that waitress had a connection, so I set it up hoping that they would get talking, more to the point, where you spying on me Cullen?"

I only ever called him that when I was pisses at him. He didn't know where to look he was having a problem with getting out what he wanted to say,

Bella- "I'm getting old here Edward, spit it out"

Edward- "I'm sorry Bella; I thought he was doing the dirty on you, and I didn't spy on you I just wanted to make sure you were ok and I......"

Bella- "No Edward not all men use women like you, and of course I was going to be ok, why do you care"

We were both shouting in the middle of the street,

Bella- "Come on Edward simple question"

Please say you have feelings for me, please please.

This wasn't working so I stormed off again

Edward- "Bella don't this, let me explain"

I turned to face him

Bella- "Well then Edward explain to me why you followed me here, why you were watching what James was doing, why you got so worked up about him being with another woman, please Edward explain I'm all ears"

I was really angry right now, I wasn't angry with him, how could I? He followed me here to see if I was safe, he was watching out for me, how could I be angry at him , I was angry with myself I wanted to tell him how I felt, I wanted to tell him how much I loved him.

Edward- "Fine you want to know Swan, I followed you here because I couldn't bare to have you out of my sight, I was watching James getting ready to hit him if he done any thing wrong if he hurt you, I didn't get worked up with him being with another woman I was pissed off that he had you, you want to know why I care so much well Isabella Swan, I love you, I want you, I want to be with you." He came towards me and said it again,

Edward- "I love you Bella"

I hadn't noticed it but it was raining, and he bent down to kiss me, I pulled myself closer to him, I gave his tongue access to my mouth , his hands griped my waist, my hands tangled in his golden brown messy hair, and we stood there in the rain having the most passionate kiss this world has ever witnessed. And I didn't want it to end. We broke apart and I looked into his eyes and he was looking into mine, it was magical better than any dream I've ever had.

I took his face in my hands,

Bella- "Edward I love you too"

And we kissed again only this kiss was cut short, by the beeping of a horn, we turned to see, Emmett, Alice, Jasper and Rosalie all standing beside Emmett's jeep cheering.


	3. Truth

**A/N Sorry this chapter will be short, but Emma aka Adopt Me Carlisle, won't even give me a chance to breath so this was quickly thought of this morning.**

Chapter 3

The Truth

EPOV

Even though I have only waited to that for two days. It feels as if I've been waiting my whole life, she makes me feel different, as if I am put on this earth for a reason. After kissing Bella, it made me fall even more deeply in love with her, she had no idea what I felt like. Truth is since we got back in the car we haven't been able to take our eyes of each other. I offered to take Bella home in my car with me, so it would mean that we could be alone together a little while longer. We were driving down the road, when she turned and looked at me

Bella- "Edward, do you mean it?"

She had doubted me, I expected that after all she thought of me as the school player, this was to be expected.

Edward- "Yes Bella, I know that it is hard for you to believe me because of my reputation with other girls, but you mean so much to me I would be in physical pain if you were ever to leave me, I will never hurt you, nor will I ever see another woman the way I see you"

She looked towards me and started to cry, what had I said? How did I make her cry? I was about to ask when she started to speak,

Bella- "You made me cry, no-one and I mean no-one has ever said anything as near as nice as that to me, only you could say something like that and make me cry"

Edward- "Bella, I truly do love you, nothing in this world means anything without you, I mean every word I say"

She looked happy that we had talked that through; I wondered if it was possible that she could ever love me as much as I loved her.

BPOV

Edward- "Did you mean it?"

It was only fair that he got to ask in return, I think I always loved him but just didn't realise it until recently, his words were still running around in my head, ringing in my ears, my heart was still reacting.

Bella- "Of course I do, it feels so natural to be able to say it to you"

It was true, it felt right to be with him as he said it would mean physical pain for both of us if we were to be separated.

We were at the Cullen's house now, we got out of the car and looked up at the sky, the night was beautiful, the stars were out and there was a cool breeze, we stood beside each other looking up, I could feel the heat of his hand as he brought it beside mine, I froze I couldn't move and then he took my hand in his intertwining them together, I turned to look into his eyes they were amazing, Edward had the most amazing green eyes. He put his arm around me bringing me closer to him.

Edward- "Bella, I love you, will you be my girlfriend"

Yay yay yay private little party in my mind right now, of course trust me to ruin the moment.

Bella- "Yea…..are……but how……what about…..me?"

What I had meant to say was, yes I'd love to, but how would you escape the mob of girls that will be waiting for you on Monday morning at school, and what about those girls you have promised a good time, and why would you chose me, but all that came out was one big long stutter.

Edward- "Ok say that again please, I didn't make any of it out"

Bella- "Yes Edward I would love to be your girlfriend"

Little did he know how much, I would like to be more than his girlfriend, but I wasn't going to say anything to freak him out. I looked at him and he was still looking up at the stars, he had the most angelic smile, I'll tell you something now and I'll tell you it for free Edward Cullen had some of the most amazing smile's you will ever see, you have the crooked smile, the I'm just unbelievably sexy smile, the you know you just love me smile and last but not least the want to have a quickie smile which he had used on almost every girl in the school.

Suddenly he had his arms around my waist, he lifted me up on the boot of the car and he was kissing me so passionately that I nearly forgot to kiss him back. He was like a crazed, kiss deprived maniac there was a song playing on the radio in the car called take mp lips, by the Ferras,

I can't describe  
I can't believe  
How I feel inside  
I know I just met you  
The other night  
But I've never  
Felt anything  
That's felt so right

[Chorus:]  
I want you to  
Take my Lips  
And make them yours  
Take my fears  
And let my heart soar  
Cause I've never felt  
Like this before  
So won't you  
Take my lips  
And make them yours

I can feel your body  
Next to mine  
Every time I close my eyes  
Every time  
I feel your breath up on my skin  
I can't wait to be with you  
Again and again

So won't you take my lips  
Take my vision (fears)  
And let my heart soar  
Cause I've never felt  
Like this before  
So won't you  
Take my lips  
And make them yours

And I  
O, I wanna take your body (2x)  
So close to mine  
I wanna take your body  
And make love  
Last for all time (2x)

Yeno  
I wanna make sweet love (2x)  
To you baby  
So would you take my lips  
Take my vision (fears)  
I want my heart to soar  
Cause I've never felt  
Like this before  
So take my lips  
And make them yours

Come on now  
I said will you take  
My lips  
And make them yours

he was so eager, and I wouldn't refuse him this kiss so I kissed him back just as passionately. I looked towards the house,

Bella- "We'd better go in soon"

Edward- "I have something to show you"

We walked in through the front door and every one was sitting grinning at us, Alice was visibly excited, because Jasper had his arm across her waist restraining her,

Alice- "But Jasper I want to hug her"

Jasper- "I'm sure Edward wants to spend some time with her……alone"

Alice was looking deep into his eyes, I had always wondered what it was like to love some like that, now I did, and the more magical part is that he loves me back just as much. He took me by the hand to his bedroom, this is the one room in the whole house I had never been in before, there in the middle of the room was a big black piano, no way the school player the love of my life plays piano. He went over and started playing; I went to sit on his bed, he was amazing I can't believe I didn't know about this, then my every thing changed, it was all green, and there where flowers and Edward and I were lying in the sun. I knew I was dreaming.

**A/N Here you go Emma, now please leave me alone!**

**x.x.x**


	4. Too Soon

**A/N This I had time to write this chapter, so I hope it is ok!**

**This chapter is aimed at catching the chemistry between Edward and Bella!**

**Disclaimer- I don't own Twilight.**

Chapter 3

Too soon!

EPOV

I looked around to see Bella, sleeping. I could hear Alice at the door,

Edward- "Alice she's sleeping"

She peeped her head in through the door; she came over and sat beside me on the piano stool,

Alice- "Well what happened?"

I told her every thing that happened, I mean every thing, even the kiss we shared before we came into the house she looked at me and it looked as if she was about to cry.

Edward- "Alice why do you look as if you are going to cry?"

Alice- "Because my big brother who I never thought would stay faithful to a girl for more than a day, has just admitted to me again, that he is in love with my best friend who loves him back and it's just so wonderful!"

Edward- "Alice don't go all emo on me!"

Alice- "You'd better stay faithful to her, because if you don't....."

Edward- "Alice have you not listened to me at all, Alice if I'm not with her I'm thinking about her, if she's not next to me I want to pull her close, if she cries I want to make her smile, I can't live without her."

Alice- "Just remember I'm watching you Cullen"

I could hear the threat in that. Alice left to go to bed. I knew I had school on Monday and it will be a shock to my fan club that there will be no more quickies in the janitor's closet. But I just can't wait to walk into school on Monday with Bella by my side. What am I going to do tomorrow night when she won't be in the same house as me? She had to go home to her parents, her parents were so cool, they let her stay here every weekend, mainly because Alice has them wrapped around her little finger. I would not sleep well at all tomorrow night, knowing that she was away from me. I went to the bed and lay down beside her; I brushed her hair out of her face and just looked over her beauty again and again. Sometime in the night I fell asleep. I dreamed that Bella and I were happy, we looked so right for each other, but something was off about this dream, there was a hint of sadness and fear, as if we were happy we were together but it seemed like it was coming to an end. I wanted to wake up from this dream because it had turned into a nightmare.

BPOV

I woke up the next morning beside an angel, he was sleeping but his expression was not peaceful, his lips were pouting, I couldn't help myself, I leaned in towards him and planted a lingering kiss on his perfect warm lips, I pulled away and his hands flew up to my face, pulling me back

Edward- "I wasn't finished"

and he started to kiss me, the electricity that was flowing through my body was over powering me, I felt the urge to caress his body, my hands went to the top button of his shirt, which he must have fallen asleep in, I unbuttoned it and the next and the next until I had ran out of buttons to open, his hands were slowly making their way from my face to my neck, my shoulders, chest, down to my stomach stopping at my belly button and rubbing gentle circles, I wanted him, and I wanted him right now. His hands continued down my hips to my thigh were his hand stopped and gripped my thigh, I used this to my advantage and pulled him on top of me, I never knew that I had this much confidence, the kiss got deeper and deeper until I nearly had lost all control, he lips were gone, they were on my neck, placing kisses all over,

Edward- "I love you, I do but...."

Bella- "I love you as well; I know this is too soon."

I surprisingly didn't feel hurt or rejected, because I knew that he wanted me as much as I wanted him, but this relationship was worth it, we would make love in a more romantic situation, where the house doesn't have his family in it.

He looked at me,

Edward- "Bella please you are not making it easy for me too stop please take your had of my ass!"

I had forgot it was there, I felt a little cheeky, I gave it a quick squeeze and slipped out from under him, I ran towards the door and his arms caught me around my waist, he swung me around in circles, I didn't want to go home tonight I wanted to stay with him for ever.

He let me down and he kissed me, we fell against the wall, and his hands where slowly making there way down to the top of my jeans, I knew this would drive him mad, but I at least had some control so I put my leg around his, bringing him closer and his hands started to shake, I moved removed my lips from his, I kissed his neck, he put his head on my shoulder I kissed his neck the whole way up and started nibbling on his ear, and I whispered

Bella- "Catch me Cullen!"

And I ran off leaving a very stunned Edward standing looking at the empty space where I had been, I was standing at the door when he looked around.

EPOV

She is too desirable for her own good, we were against the wall and I had given in I wanted her so bad, I would love to be woke up like this every morning, she was kissing my neck, my body had went all limp at the touch of her kisses, my head fell to her shoulder, her kisses were getting higher, until she was nibbling on my ear, suddenly she was whispering

Bella- "Catch me Cullen!"

And she was gone, I had to blink a few times to realise she was gone, I looked towards the door to see her standing there looked at me, I start to walk towards her, and she disappeared again, I chase her out and down the stairs, she ran to the kitchen squealing and I went in after her, she ran around the little island in the middle and then into the sitting room, I ran straight for her and pushed her onto the sofa, and kissed her, we both got so lost in the kiss we didn't see, Emmett, Rosalie, Alice Jasper and my mother and father sitting on the other sofas watching us. My father had to cough rather loudly, we seen our audience and fixed ourselves in to a more appropriate position. Alice was sitting with a huge smile on her face. Emmett was horrified, but also happy at the same time, I knew it had something to do with the fact that , Bella wouldn't have as much for him now that she had me, but he must understand that he will always be her big brother. My mother and Father left the room; they were getting ready to go visit other some of our other family. Alive and Rosalie took Bella off to the room to get dressed, and I was left with my brother and best friend,

Emmett- "I love ya and all little bro, but if you break her heart I will break your face, and don't be taking all her free time either, who will help me clean and fix my jeep!"

Bella, loved to fix cars and jeeps, she was fascinated by them, and she knew all there was to know and I'm ashamed to say it but she knew more than me.

BPOV

Bella- "Please Alice no skirts!"

Alice- "Awwwh come on Bella, you said you both find it hard to control your selves, and you both want to wait, well tease him a little it will make it fun!"

I quite liked the idea of teasing Edward, so I agreed to Alice's plan she had made about my outfits for the week. Today she had, a Blue tank top, with sliver beads on it, a nice denim skirt and a pair of flat shoes. I loved the flat shoe part, Alice was a great believer in wearing high heels, but when you find it hard to stay vertical for more than an hour, you would understand the disadvantage of heels. Rosalie done my make up and hair, I looked better today, than I did on either Friday night or last night.

Bella- "How come I look better today than I did Friday night and Last night?"

Alice- "Because you weren't getting dressed up for Edward!"

Simple as that, so we headed down stairs and I walked into the sitting room to see Edward, he sat there really silent, he looked me up and down a few times before he took a breathe, maybe this was a bad idea he might suffocate himself.

Edward- "Bella you look......"

Alice- "Pretty!"

Edward- "No"

Rosalie- "Beautiful"

Edward- "No"

Jasper- "Cute"

Edward- "No"

Emmett- "Gorgeous"

Edward- "No, you look so fucking sexy right now!"

For a minute there I thought he didn't like it, I went to sit beside him, I cuddled into his side, he tilted my head up towards him and kissed me, the position I was in was uncomfortable, so I sat myself up to reach his level, and his hands were on my hips, I threw myself on his knee and kissed him back, he put his hands on my ass and my hands me knotted into his hair. We finally calmed down and pulled apart to see the rest of them staring, oops we got a little carried away.

Edward- "Bella you intoxicate me"

Bella- "Ooops! Sorry guys"

Emmett- "I bet twenty dollars that they last 24hrs, before they ....you know!"

Jasper- "Two days!"

Alice- "Four days!"

Rosalie- "1 week!"

**A/N Sooooo how long will they last?? Should Bella continue to tease Edward?**

**Please review!**

**x.x.x**


	5. Clowns

**A/N Sorry it took so long...I have no internet access......**

**Sorry....thank you soooo much for the reviews.....**

**I do not own Twilight ******

Chapter 5

Clowns

BPOV

I can't believe that they were actually betting on how long Edward and I could go without having sex, Emmett thought we would only last 1 day Jasper thought 2 days Alice 4 and Rosalie a week, My face must have been so red because Alice quickly changed the subject,

"Come on lets go shopping!"

I must prove to each of them that me and Edward weren't just about sex, I want to prove that there is something stronger, a better connection that we are in love but when I look at him I go weak I would never be able to say no to him.

For once I wanted to go shopping, if I was going to tease Edward then I needed a new wardrobe, unfortunately for me this meant short skirts, revealing tops and loads of highs heels to emphasise my long legs as Alice once put it. This morning when I woke up next to Edward I was in my own personal heaven. I wasn't looking forward to going home tonight to be on my own, to be without Edward, my parents were the most amazing parents they let me stay here at the Cullen's almost every weekend, Rosalie and Jasper practically lived here, there was enough room for them, The Cullen's lived in a mansion, and there was plenty of room.

Alice had came back from explain to Carlisle why she needed more clothes, whatever she said he must have bought it because she came back with a credit card in her hand and was ready to go, on the other hand I had to go home and get the money which I had been saving up, I had it stashed in my sock drawer and I'm sure it was only a few hundred dollars.

We were driving up to the mall and Alice was getting excited listing off all the shops that we would be visiting. After we went in we separated away from the boys, but before I walked away Edward wrapped me up in his arms, and kissed me eagerly and we got lost in our own little personal heaven, when we broke apart we were out of breath, and I said

"See you later...."

Ok so maybe Edward and I may give into our hormones sooner than expected because there is nothing more that I want right now than Edward Cullen in a very sexual way.

He didn't have a chance to reply because Alice had whipped me away towards the first shop,

"Ewwwh Bella if you're guna suck my brothers face off please do it away from me..."

That's not all I want to do to your brother Alice, O she would kill me if I said that out loud.

Rosalie turned to Alice

"Well you're just as bad with my brother"

The three of us walked into the shop laughing. Alice was having the time of her life filling my basket with loads of clothes that I would never dream of wearing. After we had fitted them on she insisted that I bought them all, she never gave me a chance to look at the price tags we went to the till and sat the mountain of clothes on the counter, it coast a lot less than I was expecting it only came to $200.10, I had bought $300. With me, I still had enough for a nice pair of shoes, but Alice wanted to go into another clothes shop, yet again she filled my basket with more clothes, even though I told her I wasn't buying them she simply said

"Where're trying stuff on, come on it'll be fun"

After we had tried on all the clothes Alice ran off.....O that sneaky little pixie. She came back with a smile on her face a mile wide she had bought my stuff as well.

"Alice why the hell are you spending your money on me?"

"Bella they look so good on you...anyway consider them an early birthday present"

"Birthday present!"

That's right I'm 18 tomorrow I totally forgot, Alice had only known me for two months and she remembered my birthday, I wasn't good with that type of stuff, I felt really stupid that I had forgotten, how many people have to be reminded about their own birthday?

**(A/N couldn't resist Beth lol)**

We had bought so many clothes, we had too many bags in our hands so we went to the car dumped them, we headed to a cafe and we met the boys...the only one that was holding a bag was Edward but he refused to let us see what he had bought.

After we had eaten too much the boy's were ready to go home but us girls still had an important matter of buying some shoes. The boy's had no other choice but to come with us, so they tagged along. First it was my turn and Alice pulled these black death traps off the shelf, when I seen her coming towards me with them in her hand I started to walk away from her backwards but typical me I fell over a shoe box and landed flat on my ass. The whole shop was looking at me trying to hold in their laughter, Alice looked at me and then back at the shoes, don't get me wrong they were awesome shoes but just not the ones for me, she took one last look at the shoes and sat them back on the shelf, so instead they let me stick to some flat shoes, they made sure that I got a few pairs that would match my outfits.

I was never so happy to get back to the Cullen's and onto that sofa in my life, although I was getting nervous about tomorrow, Alice would not just let my birthday pass without making a fuss that wasn't her style. Alice insisted that I tried on my outfits for Esme to see; only problem was she didn't want anyone else to see them so she kidnapped her mother from the living room and brought her up to her own room. So once Esme had time to adapt to her new surroundings the fashion show began, Esme was as bad as Alice and Rosalie the three sat discussing which top suited which skirt, and how I should wear my hair or what type of make-up would go with it when I heard some of their ideas I regretted agreeing to the whole make-over teasing Edward plan.

Then it came time for me to go home, I very nearly cried I didn't want to leave Edward mainly because all that has happened has felt like a dream and if I go home I'm afraid it will end. Normally Alice would drive me home but she insisted that Edward should do the honours, when I say she insisted I mean she pushed Edward and myself towards the car and threw his keys at him, then walked back inside without saying a word and locked the front door.

In the car with him alone was so nerve wrecking, every now and then I would look at him and soak in his beauty, I wanted to remember his face going home, I knew tonight would be a long night mainly worrying about what it would be like back at school tomorrow every girl would either try to kill me or laugh at me, they would kill me because I was with Edward or they would laugh at me for trusting him. We were sitting right outside my house, I was so nervous around him after every one's bet this morning, I had started to wonder should I be this nervous around the the guy I loved? That's when I realised that I have no idea what love is, and then I got excited because this was all new to me I don't know what to expect I can't guess what will happen, but I know that if Edward and I are meant to be together then we will.

I was looking into his eyes, he was looking back at me his eyes mesmerizing me, placing me in a trance, how did he dazzle me so easily? my heart was beating so fast I thought I was going to pass out, a little voice in the back of my head screaming at me 'It's definitely love....now kiss him'

I obeyed, I kissed him and he did anything but push me away he deepened it, and once again I was lost, my mind in a dream, the passion was over taking his hand had went to my thigh and was slowly going upwards, he stopped at the button of my jeans and held his hand there, my hands where still caught up in his hair, he pulled away and whispered

"Bella you drive me crazy"

He had that phrase backwards, there is no way he could feel half as crazy about me as I do about him. But right now I didn't care that it has been barely 9 hours since the others made the bet, I didn't care that we were parked right in front of my parents house all that I wanted right now was Edward, the electrical connection between us was driving me crazy, so I kissed him again, and again like before he obeyed and kissed me back, my hand went to his shirt and I got déjà vu, like this morning I was unbuttoning his shirt, I wasn't thinking I looked up towards the house and seen that my parents car was gone, so I whispered into his ear

"Not here, inside"

He looked up towards the house and eagerly got out off the car, I left my shopping bags in the boot and went straight to my room only breaking our kiss to get out of the car, he lay me down on my bed so gently, he crawled on top of me, I reached for his opened shirt and pulled it off him, we were kissing again and I noticed he was tugging at my shirt so I pulled it off over my head. Alice had went overboard the last time we went shopping making me buy fancy underwear, but now I am thankful that she did, I was wearing red and black lace matching bra and pants, between moans escaping Edwards lips he was mumbling

"You look better in blue"

Then I remembered last night standing in front of the window in my blue underwear wondering if he had seen me,

"You saw me"

"Yea and it took so much restraint to not go into that room and snatch you away"

while we were talking we had both taken off our jeans, and I was in my underwear while he was in boxers, but the reason why I pushed Edward off me and ran towards the door screaming was because Edwards boxers were covered in clowns, I hated clowns they freaked the crap out of me, even looking at them gives me chills down my spine but having them so close to me, touching me that just scared me shitless.

"Bella what wrong?"

I ran and locked myself in the bathroom; Edward was standing outside the door sounding worried

"Clowns"

Was all I could say, I was shaking

"Clowns?"

He is so stupid.

"Yes Edward fucking clowns, that's what I said"

"Calm down Bella"

How dare he

"Calm down, you come on top of me wearing clowns, and you want me to calm down, well listen here mister big shot school player who wears novelty boxers with fucking clowns, get the fuck out of my house"

Clowns, he comes near me with clowns and tells me to calm down, Grrrrr........

"Bella, please calm down and talk to me"

He just did not know how scary this was, when I get scared I either whimper away or get angry and poor Edward was getting all my anger.

"Get out. Get out..."

I could hear footsteps towards my room

"The doors the other way Edward"

"I need to get my clothes Bella,"

He actually sounded quite pissed, I'm the one on the brink of death and he's pissed off

"Get out now, fuck the clothes, get out"

I was screaming at him, he done as I asked and left, it was only when I heard his Volvo speeding off that I realised what had just happened, I felt so bad, he never knew that I had a massive fear of clowns because I never told anyone, Alice and Rosalie guessed it, they seen me breakdown one day when there was a clown in the mall.

I had just wanted to make love to Edward a few moments ago he was the only thing on my mind and then I saw the clowns. Now I had another reason for hating them they had just ruined something special.

I walked back into my room and seen Edwards clothes lying on the floor, I am a horrible person he would definitely change his mind about loving me now, I had just kicked him out of the house in his underwear because he was wearing novelty boxers....with CLOWNS!!!!!.

The only good thing about all of this was that Alice would be so proud of me leaving him wanting more like that the teasing Edward plan was going to be so much fun and I'm actually looking forward to it, then I remembered the clothes and felt guilty again.

I put on my dressing robe, I will call Edward when he gets home and apologise and I'll explain why I went psycho. I went down stairs to the phone but found a note from my mother.

_Bella,_

_Your father and I are going to be out of town for a few days, Billy Black has had a heart attack, we don't know when we will be back, sorry we didn't get to see you before we left, if you need us call my mobile, there is money sitting in an envelope under your pillow it should be enough to do you at least a week. If you want you can have the girls over if you don't want to be alone, I'll ring you in the morning to make sure you're up for school._

_Love you Bell's_

_Mum x.x.x_

Billy lived back in phoenix, he was really close to our family, his wife left him and his son a few years ago Billy took it badly and lived with us for a few days while he found a new house for him and Jake. Billy and his son Jacob was the only bad thing about leaving phoenix, nothing else mattered but them, the past two months my mother has been ringing Billy to make sure everything is alright.

Jacob and I were always close, we were best friends, in school we would always get picked on because they didn't understand our friendship, we held hands not because we fancied each other but because it felt comforting and right, I loved Jacob, it was a Love that I felt for no other not even Edward. I could feel a tear running down my face it had only just hit me how much I actually missed Jake, all the things we used to do together, we told each other our deepest secrets and we were there for each other, but now when he needed me I was miles away. I felt even guiltier.

I made myself a cup of tea, and went to call Edward, after I had dialled his number that fact that Billy had had a heart attack hit me, and I started to cry so when Edward answered his phone all he would have heard was me crying

"Hello....Bella is that you?"

"uuuh hu....sniff sniff"

"Are you ok, what was all that about?"

He was on about the clowns, I remembered that I had a free house and we needed to talk

"Can you come over?"

"Yea sure, now? Where's your parents?"

"They've gone for a few days; I'll explain when you get here"

"Ok I'm on my way"

Then his voice left but he hadn't hung up, I could hear him talking with the others, Jasper was teasing him

"Bro you's even last 24 hours"

"Jasper we didn't do anything"

"Well then why did you come home in your underwear?"

"I don't know she freaked out and locked herself in the bathroom them went mad at me ...Alice"

He called for Alice; she came in and laughed at first then shouted

"Shit Edward, what are you playing at...you wore clowns"

"What is wrong with clowns, that's what Bella said"

Now they would all know about my fear

"Edward Bella has a massive fear of clowns, they really freak her out, I mean really freak her out, is she ok what state was she in when you left?"

That's when the phone cut off.

I went and got into my comfy pyjamas, they were a stripy pair of bottoms, and a pink top with long knee length stripy socks. Edward was standing at the door; he had a new outfit on

"Edward I'm so sorry, about before I...I...."

I was crying again, for two reason because of Billy and because I had kicked Edward out. He took me in his arms and sat on the sofa, he held me tight and waited until I could talk he held my in his arm rocking us back and forth, rubbing gentle shapes on the bottom of my back after a few moments I realised that the shapes were love hearts. This made me feel worse I had just thrown the man I love out of the house and he come's back as if he didn't care, as if it was no bother to him to go home in his underwear. I decided it was time to tell him my reasons, I started telling him about Billy and how close he and Jake were to our family, I told him all of the things that Jake and I used to do, he was so understanding, this was a side of Edward I was not used to seeing, I was more used to the annoying obnoxious Edward, who needed to be hit every time he was met, I still didn't understand how I fell for him, because this past 2 months we hated each other, but still under all that hate there lay a strong unbreakable connection, some people say that you fight with those you have feelings for that is the way it was between Edward and I. That's when I remembered what I felt like when I first came here and seen him with all those girls, I remembered what I was thinking and then I remembered a song

_Flashback_

_**Bella is sitting in her Chevy, on her first morning at Forks high she knew nobody and nobody knew her, she was looking out through the window when she saw Edward, he looked over to her and winked.......just then a song came on the radio**_

_I hated this, I was the new girl. I was someone for everyone to look at and gossip about, I was the new shiny toy and what was making me feel worse was that the most beautiful man in the school was standing with a girl hanging off him, but he was winking at me with the most angelic smile I have ever seen, surprisingly this made me mad I knew instantly that he was a player he didn't care about girls, he used them I thought to myself 'Please God do not let him come near me' just then a the song on the radio invaded my mind and for some strange reason the lyrics stayed with me_

**Gareth Brooks- Unanswered Prayers**

Just the other night a hometown football game  
My wife and I ran into my old high school flame  
And as I introduced them the past came back to me  
And I couldn't help but think of the way things used to be.

She was the one that Id wanted for all times  
And each night Id spend praying that God would make her mine  
And if he'd only grant me this wish I wished back then  
Id never ask for anything again.

(Chorus)  
Sometimes I thank God for unanswered prayers  
Remember when you're talkin to the man upstairs  
That just because he doesn't answer doesn't mean he don't care  
Some of gods greatest gifts are unanswered prayers.

She wasn't quite the angel that I remembered in my dreams  
And I could tell that time had changed me  
Inn her eyes too it seemed  
We tried to talk about the old days  
There wasn't much we could recall  
I guess the lord knows what he's doin after all.

And as she walked away and I looked at my wife  
and then and there I thanked the good lord  
for the gifts in my life.

*chorus*  
some of god's greatest gifts are all too often unanswered...  
Some of god's greatest gifts are unanswered prayers

_End of flashback_

Just then those lyrics came to back to me and they were so true...thank God for unanswered prayers, I honestly do not know how I could cope without Edward, he is sunshine my oxygen but most of all he is my soul mate.

**A/N Sooooo...I love Gareth Brooks.....**

**Please review**

**x.x.x**


	6. Recovery sleep over

**A/N Sorry the chapters weren't put up over the summer......I have no internet and it sucks........**

**I do not own Twilight or any characters! :(**

Chapter 6

Recovery Sleep over.

BPOV

We were sitting there talking I was telling him all about Jake and Billy, I knew that I owed him an apology

"Edward I'm so sorry about before, I ...I"

I couldn't talk I was really embarrassed, It must have seemed so stupid a 17 year old girl going mad and crying because of some clowns but he didn't understand how scary they are.

"Bella its ok Alice told me about your fear of clowns, I'm sorry, it's my fault I should have known"

I really was not used to this Edward, he never blamed himself for anything even if it was his fault, I knew in that second that I will discover the real Edward; I knew that we would discover more about each other. I leaned over to kiss him, he kissed me back, he broke the kiss

"Are you sure your parents won't walk in"

"No they're definitely in phoenix for a few days"

With that he swept me up into his arms and carried me up the stairs bridal style, so it is merely 11 hours since the bet was made, this time things went ok until he was in his boxers again, that's when I sat up

"Edward you changed...."

"Yea when Alice told me about your fear I changed before I came over, why what's wrong you don't like Spiderman?"

No I didn't care about spider man, is that all he came back for, was he so positive that he would get me into bed?

"Edward you fucking man whore"

"What, what's wrong Bella"

"Get out, get out now, and is that all you came back for eh? Sex.....you decide to change your underwear and then come back here to get me into bed"

"No Bella it's not like that. I..."

"I don't want to hear it Edward get out"

I pushed him off me and threw his clothes at him, I held my tears until I could hear him driving away, I am so stupid that's all he wanted, he only came back because he wanted sex, he didn't love me, I shouldn't have called him back, the clowns were a sign, a sign that we wouldn't work out. A sign that we weren't soul mates I sat crying on my bed, I don't know how long I sat there but it was a while, I stopped when I felt two sets of comforting arms around me

"Bella, it's ok"

"Where're here"

My two best friends I could always depend on them.

EPOV

This is the second time she kicked me out, first because I was wearing clown boxers and the second because I changed them. How was I to know she had a fear of clowns? So when she called me to come back I changed into other ones because I thought that if she thought I was still wearing the clowns It would freak her out again, she thought that I only wanted to get her into bed, but that's not all I want, I want her, I want to know her and to love her she is my life now everything I do I do it for her. **(Bryan Adams- Everything I do (I do it for you)**

When Alice and Emmett seen me for the second time they met me at the door

"What have you done this time"  
Alice had shouted at me, because I hadn't put my shirt on, while Emmett shouted

"11 hours...hahaha I win"

"Fuck off Emmett, you win nothing"  
"O you mean you didn't....."

"No Emmett she kicked me out again"

Alice came over and dragged me inside; she pushed me down on the sofa

"Edward what the fuck have you done"

"Nothing Alice. We talked she told me about her friends back in phoenix, then she kissed me and one thing led to another and we went upstairs but when she seen my boxers she went mad again. She was saying 'you changed them' and then she started saying is that all you want, to have sex with me, and the she said ' were you so sure that if you came back you would get it' and she kicked me out again"

"Edward you stupid fuck, how did you expect her to react, or was that your motive, to not wear clowns and this time you would actually sleep with her, you stupid fucking man whore, you womaning prick, you sex crazed freak."

She walked away mumbling "Insensitive jerk"

After she had went mad at me she left to get Rosalie and go over to Bella's that left me to deal with Emmett

"Bro.....how could you do that to Bella, you better not be using her?"

Had no-one listened to me, I love her; I cannot and will not live without her

"Fuck sake Emmett, I am not using her, I love her, she just got the wrong end of the stick"

"Yea well you are not to go near her until she wants you to or if she wants you to"

How could I stay away from her?

"You want me to stay away from her?"  
"Yes, and you're not allowed to call her or even text her, if Bella wants to talk to you she will do so when she wants to."

He walked out to the kitchen to get some more food form the fridge, Emmett was massive he looked like a bear he never stopped eating but he never put on any weight. I went up to my room and played the lullaby that I played for Bella the previous night, I played this lullaby ever since I set my eyes on her, and every one now knew that it was Bella's lullaby. I sat there and my fingers floated over the keys and all the time Bella was in my head.

APOV

Omg aren't men such pricks, I never thought Edward would go that low just to get someone into bed, I knew he was man whore but I actually believed him when he told me that he loved Bella, because when Bella told Rosalie and I she had feelings for Edward I thought everything would work out, but he has messed it up he is a failure he messes everything he touches up.

After I had picked up Rosalie and explained all that had happened to her we rushed to Bella's house, her parents weren't home so we used the spare key that was left under the mat, we could hear Bella crying form upstairs, we went towards her room and seen her lying there in her underwear rocking herself with her arms wrapped around her knees, we sat on the bed beside her

"Bella it's ok"

"Where're here"

She stopped crying, and looked up at us

"I'm so stupid for actually believing him"

"No Bella, you're not stupid, he had us all fooled, we all thought he genuinely loved you"

"You don't need him Bella"

I thought I would cheer her up

"Any way I left Edward at home with an angry Emmett"  
Both Rosalie and I laughed at the fact that Edward was stuck at home with Emmett because we both knew that Emmett would go mental at Edward for hurting Bella, but Bella didn't laugh she cried,

"Your wrong Rose, I do need him....I love him"

She had fallen for my brother and she had fallen bad, but she is too good for him.

"Bella, you're too good for him, he doesn't deserve you"

"But I can't just stop loving him"

"Do you want to stop loving him"  
"Well do you think he will change?"

"I don't know Bells I thought he had changed he had me fooled, I can't trust him"

Rose spoke

"Bella, it doesn't matter what we think, it's up to you, if you want to give him another chance we will stand by you, but if you decide that you can't trust him we will help you get over him"  
Rose was right we would help her no matter what she chose.

BPOV

I couldn't ask for better friends, even though I do love Edward I just can't trust him, he was a cheat a man whore and he could never stay faithful. I have to get over him or at least convince those around me that I'm over him, I can't let him hurt me again, or make a fool out of me, my head was saying ending it with him would be the best thing to do, but my heart was yelling at me to give him another chance. But I would not be made a fool out of, no man will hurt me again, I don't need love and that's how it is going to work out I'm giving up on love.

I will be stronger and I will resist him. I sat up and wiped the tears from my eyes never again will I cry over Edward Cullen......in front of others, I will save my tears for when I am alone.

"Thank you girls, I love you"

"Don't worry about it Bells"

"So Bella where's your mum and dad?"

"They went back to phoenix; do remember I told you about Jake Black my best friend in pheonix? Well his father took a heart attack and mum and dad went up for a few days to stay with them"

"How is Jake?"

"I don't know I haven't rang him yet"

"Why don't you ring him now?"

"No I want to give him some space, he needs it Jake always liked space to think things over"

"So you're staying here on your own then? Have you got money?"

"Yea mum left me enough for at least week, and she did say that you two could stay over"

"Yay I was hoping you would say that, I'll call mum and get her to drop over some clothes"

"And I'll call mum and get her to send Jasper over with my clothes" said Rosalie

That gave me an idea, one other time shortly after I moved to Forks my parents went away for the weekend, I invited Alice, Jasper, Rose and Emmett over for the weekend, that was before Edward and I and it would be just like before, Edward wouldn't be involved.

"Hey I have an idea. Why don't we have a sleep over with a twist, let's get Emmett and Jasper to come we can watch a movie"  
"Bella you do know it 11:30"

"Well then it would have to be a scary movie we watch"

"Yea I'll call Emmett. He can tell mum and he can bring over my clothes" said Alice

"And I'll call Jasper and he can bring mine" said Rosalie

So we were set, we would get Emy and Jasper over, and watch a scary movie. Then my mum would get us up for school in the morning.

The boys arrived and we all crammed onto the sofa to watch a scary movie, I didn't even know what it was and as soon as it started I fell asleep.

EPOV

Emmett came bursting into my room

"Hi cunty hooks, where is mum?"

"I don't know fuck face try the shed"  
When ever mum wanted peace she would go out to the shed and paint, she loved to paint landscapes, my room was full of them because she had nowhere else to put them, Why was he is such rush? Then I could hear both Emmett and my mother talking in Alice's room.

"What has he done now?"

After Emmett had told her what had happened, she said

"Will he ever learn to treat girls with respect?"

"Probably not, any way Bella's parents are out of town a family friend took a heart attack so Bella asked If Alice and I as well as Rosalie and Jasper could stay the night so she wouldn't be alone"

Of course my mum thought that it would be better if Bella wasn't on her own, so she packed some clothes for Alice, not forgetting her makeup and whatever else she would need for school tomorrow, then I remembered Bella's shopping was still in the boot, so I went down and put it into Emmett's jeeps hoping he would see it and bring it in to Bella. I lay down on my bed with my I-Pod on and guess what was playing? Please forgive me- By Bryan Adams, I drifted off to sleep thinking about Bella and how I could make it up to her.

**A/N Hehehehehehe...Bryan Adams Rocks!!**

**Please review**

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	7. Happy Birthday

**A/N SoOoOoOoOo........here goes another chapter!!**

**Please review**

**I do not own any thing to do with Twilight ******

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Chapter 7

Happy Birthday

What is that noise? It sounds like my phone but I don't want to wake up and answer it, just then I open my eyes to find myself crammed onto the sofa with the others where is my phone, I looked at my watch 8:00

"Hello?"

"Good morning Bella, Happy Birthday baby! I take it by your voice you weren't up?"

"Morning mum, no you got me up, thank you a year wiser right! Is Billy ok?"

"He is still ill, he is very weak, but he will recover, it will be slow but he will recover!"  
"That's good how's Jake"

"O Bella he is so worried, he really thought that he had lost him he was afraid that he would be alone, he is a mess, maybe you should come up for the weekend, it would cheer him up to see you"

"Yea I might actually come up, I'd love to see them both I've missed them like crazy"

"Did you get Alice and Rose over last night?"

"Yea....we just had an early night, so I'd better go and get myself ready. I'll call you later mum"

"Ok Bells, be good! Bye"

"Always am, Bye"

I turned to see Jasper, Alice, Emmett and Rosalie all sleeping on the sofa how did all five of us fit on it in the first place, I was excited about going up to Phoenix to see Billy and Jake, I went and got myself ready for school knowing that there would be a rush for the bathroom when the rest woke up, I had a great shower the water was hot and relaxing on my skin, Edward was constantly running through my mind, I needed to mask myself from the others if they knew how I really felt things would be so awkward. I got out of the steaming shower and stuck on an old pair of jeans and a hoody, I went back down to get started on breakfast when I noticed my shopping bags sitting in the hall by the front door, I guessed that Emmett had brought them in, so I grabbed them and brought them up to my room. I tipped them onto my bed to see what exactly was bought I hadn't realised how skimpy the clothes where when we were buying them.

I was expecting to feel a little older or wiser now that I am 18 but I felt the same. When I seen all those clothes layed out on my bed I decided what a better way to show Edward and the rest that I'm over him, what a great way to mask myself from them. So I picked up a pair of short black shorts which looked more like hot pants than shorts, I put them on and found a luminous pink t-shirt with black writing, it said

'96% of teenagers say their bring sexy back....' on the front and,

'....but I said that I was one of the 4% that sexy never left' on the back

I found one of the two pair of high heels that I allowed Alice to buy, they happened to be the same colour of pink, so I slipped them on, I decided that I would leave the hair and make-up to Alice and Rose because they would be annoyed that they didn't get to do anything. So it was only 20 to 9 and school didn't start till 9:30

I went into the kitchen and started to cook a fry knowing that when then smell reached the sitting room it would wake the rest up and it wasn't long until I could hear footsteps making their way into the kitchen behind me and for once I was expecting that gasps that followed.

"Whoa....."

"WOW"

"What the heck....."

I turned to see them all staring at me I put a smile on my face, that was the only thing I could hide from every one, I could hide how I felt from others, so I got on with cooking and after we ate just as I expected there was a rush for the bathroom and once again I was so glad that I had gotten up earlier to get washed, Alice and Rosalie had finished in the bathroom Emmett and Jasper nearly fought over who was next.

Alice and Rosalie got themselves ready then they done my hair and make-up, when they were working on me they asked

"Why the good clothes Bella?"

"Can't a girl get dressed up on her birthday?"

"OMG Bella I forgot .........Happy birthday, what does it feel like to be 18?"

"Exactly the same Alice"

I was older than her by one month

"Well we gotta do something special tonight"

"Sure sure"

I had picked that up form Jake, I missed him and I decided to tell Alice and Rose about the talk I had with my mother this morning

"My mum rang this morning to wish me happy birthday and to tell me how Billy's doing"  
"O how is he Bella?"

"She said he's doing ok, but it is Jake she is worried about she said that was so afraid thinking that he had lost Billy and that he would be alone, Jake is hurting and he's scared that he might lose his dad"

I had started to cry, but quickly remembered my mascara and stopped

"He's hurting and I'm miles away"

"Bella why don't you go to phoenix for the weekend?"

"That's what my mum said"

"Yea well I'm sure we might be able to live without you for one weekend, but we will talk over the phone right?"

"Of course, I will have to tell all the new gossip"

After we were all ready we went down stairs to hear Emmett and Jasper on the phone

"Seriously dude you didn't see her she looked as if nothing was wrong and she was all dressed up and this sounds so wrong coming from my lips but she looked bloody sexy"

"Yea but Edward, she looks happy and if you bring her down..."

"No it will be worse than that."

EPOV

Emmett was telling me what he would do to me if I destroyed Bella's good mood, Emmett and Jasper were telling me that she was all dressed up and in a really good mood, what was up with her, was I forgiven or had she simply moved on? I knew there was something special about today, it's when I looked towards my dressing table and seen the bag that I remembered, it was Bella's birthday I went over and took the small black box out of the bag, I opened the box and took out the bracelet, It was a charm bracelet I had a small diamond put on because her birthstone is diamond, for April. So I slipped the small box into my pocket and headed off for school.

When I got there Bella was in her Chevy, Alice and Jasper was in the porches and Rosalie and Emmett were in the BMW. I took my normal spot beside Alice, she totally ignored me, Emmett was the only one who spoke to me

"Do not upset her"

Was all he said well actually he growled it, but I wanted to know where I stood, and I wanted to wish her a happy birthday and give her, her present. I knew my only chance would be biology

BPOV

Every one totally ignored him, Emmett muttered something to him as we walked by, I knew I would have to face him in biology, but how hard would it be to ignore him?

EPOV

When I seen her I couldn't take my eyes of her she looked absolutely stunning, I never saw her look like that before, she has the most amazing legs I have ever set my eyes upon, and that ass pheww.........!

Emmett saw me staring and gave me a death glare.

Roll on Biology..........................

_Later that day when both Bella and Edward are in Biology._

BPOV

I made sure that he got there before me, Alice told me about him staring at me this morning and I wanted him to see what he has lost, so when he was seated I made my entrance I walked in and seen Mike Newton stare and then wolf whistle, I blew him a kiss and Edward saw it he wasn't impressed at all, but I didn't care, well I did but I didn't want him to know that. I took my place beside him and I crossed my legs to the side so that they were out in the aisle between the rows of tables, at this stage every boy in the room was checking me out and for the first time since I moved here I felt as if I fitted in and I liked it maybe Edward and I were never meant to be no matter how desperately I wanted to change the present situation and make it right, make so that Edward and I were still together and that Edward wasn't the womanizing man whore that he is, make it that all he wants is me and that he wouldn't stray but who was I to change him?

EPOV

She walked in and knocked the breath right out of me, out of the corner of my eye I seen Mike Newton stare at her then wolf whistle, what annoyed me was the fact that she blew him a kiss, had I meant nothing to her? She came and sat beside me she flaunted her legs and every boy was staring at them, I had to admit you would never find another set of legs like those anywhere else on the planet but still I felt so protective of her, I just wanted to get my coat and cover her legs, I want to apologise to her but Emmett said not to talk to her, no calls or texts, but he didn't say no notes I ripped out a page from my note book and I wrote

_Edward_

**Bella**

"_Bella I'm so sorry"_

She looked at the note but looked back towards the front of the room

"_Bella I'm really really sorry, I would talk to you but Emmett would kill me"_

She looked at it again and started to smile she lifted her pen and wrote

"**Talk to me then"**

Did she really not care?

I took the small black box out of my pocket I wrote on the paper

"_Happy Birthday"_

She read the note

"**Thanks"**

And looked away again, so I sat the box on the table in front of her she looked at the box for a few moments and picked it up, her hands were shaking, she looked at the bracelet, she took it out of the box and looked at it closely. She looked me in the eye for the first time today, we sat there for a few minutes starring into each other's eyes one for one split second I thought she was going to break her silence, but she put the bracelet back in the box and pushed it towards me she wrote on the paper

"**Thank you but I can't take it Edward; there is just nothing between us, Sorry"**

Did you hear that? That was the sound of my heart shattering into a thousand pieces, those few words stung, she got up and lifted her stuff she walked over to the empty place beside Mike Newton, when she walked away from me she took what was left of my heart with her.

BPOV

I knew he was looking at me, I fought so hard with myself not to look back at him then he ripped out a page form his note book and wrote

"_Bella I'm so sorry"_

I read the note and I wanted to look into his eyes but I didn't, I looked straight ahead and prayed that I could keep looking away then he wrote

"_Bella I'm really really sorry I would talk to you but Emmett would kill me"_

I fake a little smile and wrote

"**Talk to me then"**

He straightened up a little, I think that hurt him

He took something out of his pocket but he wrote on the paper again

"_Happy Birthday"_

He remembered, what harm would it do to thank him?

"**Thanks"**

Then he sat a small black box in front of me, I looked at it for a few moments and I was too curious not to open it so I reached for the little innocent black box sitting before me, my hands were shaking like a leaf, when I opened it and seen the charm bracelet I nearly cried it was amazing it was beautiful I held it up to see what was on it, there was a single diamond hanging from it, diamond my birth stone, at that second my resistance broke and I looked into his eyes and I could still feel the connection, as I looked into his deep emerald green eyes I remembered what it was that made me fall for him in the first place I was very tempted to say something to him, I wanted to close the distance between us but I had made a decision and I must stick to it, I have come this far I will get through this so I put the gorgeous bracelet back into the box and wrote a note back

"**Thank you but I can't take it Edward; there is just nothing between us, Sorry"**

The words weren't worth the paper they were written on, I didn't actually mean them because I knew the connection was still there, I knew it would be easier being away from him so I gathered up my stuff and moved to the seat beside Mike Newton, I was sitting beside Mike and I could hear the girls whisper in the back of the room

"Was there something going on between Bella and Edward?"

"Did he just give her a present?"

"Did she just dump him?"

I knew that there would be a few rumours but the worst that could happen is that Edwards pride would be struck; the whole class has seen him give me a bracelet and then seen me give it back and walk away.

**A/N Hehehehehehehe..........hehehehehehehehe...........I love being hyper!**

**Do you want some advice..................Never listen to advice I mean it, seriously never take someone's advice!!**

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	8. Back Home

**A/N Hope you like.......**

**Please review **

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Chapter 8

Back Home to Phoenix

BPOV

Sitting at the lunch table was quite awkward because I hadn't had a chance to tell Alice and Rose what had happened in Biology, and Edward was sitting talking to Emmett and Jasper, I was trying to keep up my act, Mike Newton kept staring at me, don't get me wrong he's not hard on the eyes but he is just so annoying he constantly wants to talk and he is the worst person I have ever seen flirting, he is terrible but he seems to get on Edwards nerves so for that alone I can put up with him. After lunch Alice, Rosalie and I were in French, that class was always handy for us because the teacher was somehow connected to the Cullen's so we could sit down the back of the class and talk away, when I was telling them about biology they were just so shocked

"And you actually gave it back?"

"Yea I did, it was gorgeous, it was beautiful, and I didn't want to give it back I wanted to put it on but that would be wrong"

"What did he do when you gave it back?"

"I don't know I got up and moved beside Mike"  
"Bella you little underdog I never thought you could be such a little tease"

"Was it the wrong thing for me to do?"

"No it's just that it is my brother that where're talking about"  
"I'm sorry Alice, but what can I do?"

"No I know Bella, and it's defiantly the right thing you're doing, but it's still my brother were making a fool of"

I had to take off these shoes they were absolutely killing me, I had no idea how Alice and Rose could wear these all day every day, I took them off during French and I put them back on and walked to the art room for a double class, the teacher in this class knew it was my birthday because it was also hers, and she remembers anything that involves her birthday.

Our project was to draw a landscape, I just drew what I could see out of the class room window, I enjoyed art so the time flew by and the end of day bell was ringing, I put my shoes back on and headed for the car were I would meet up with the rest, when I walked up I could see Edward having words with Mike Newton and they didn't look friendly, as I got closer I hear what he was saying

"I swear Newton If you hurt her I will kill you"

Even after me giving back his present and ignoring him he is still looking out for me, but he really didn't have to warn off Mike I would never date him, I am not that crazy that only made me fall deeper for Edward. I reached my Chevy and waited for Alice and Rose I very nearly burst into tears at the thought that I could never again tell Edward I loved him, but I knew that he would soon get tired of me and he would move on to his next girl.

"So what are we doing?"

"What about shopping?"

"No Alice no shopping"

"What about pizza back at yours?"

"Yea sounds good Rose"

"Ok I'll get the pizzas and we'll meet up at yours ok?"

"No prob, bring the boys we'll have have a mini party"

"Ok"

So I drove home and went I got there I looked in the post box and there was a letter for me, I opened it up and it was a birthday card form Jake, he didn't forget, I read the inside

_To Bella_

_Happy Birthday, I hope to see you soon _

_I'll give you your present then, missing you so much_

_Things are so different here without you my whole world has changed_

_When you moved you brought a big piece of me with you_

_I can't wait until I see you again then I will feel complete once again_

_Please come back soon_

_Lots of Love _

_Jake_

_Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx_

I really missed him but I won't ring him, it will be a surprise when I see him at the weekend. Right on queue the others arrived on the street, I sat on the sofa awaiting the pizza, Alice was the first through the door she came beside me and grabbed my hands in her's

"Bella don't be mad but he had to come, mum didn't want us leaving him out"

I didn't know what she was on about

"What"

"Edward, he came with us"  
Crap well I would have to keep up the pretence a little longer

"It's ok Alice he is your brother"

"Thanks Bella"  
Emmett carried in the pizza, he opened on box and there was 18 candles sitting there, it was so funny a pizza as a birthday cake it had to be Emmett......

"We will have a party when you get back from Phoenix"

By the look on Edwards face he had no idea I was going to phoenix at the weekend, now seemed like the perfect time to show them my card from Jake

Alice read it and nearly cried and Rosalie shouted

"O my gosh Bella he is so into you"

"What Jake into me? No he's not where're just great friends, very great friends"

"Bella, you are so blind no-one could write a card like this unless they were crazy about you"

I quickly changed the subject but I knew that they would bring it up again later

"So whose idea was it about the candles?"

Emmett raised his hands and said

"Guilty"

I went over to him and gave him a big hug

"Thanks Emy bear"

"No bother Bella Boo, Happy birthday"  
He reached behind him and gave me a box before I opened it he said

"It's from all of us, we knew you wanted one and we thought your 18 was the right time to get you it"

I opened their present and the bracelet that I saw was gorgeous, it was the same one that I seen in the shop window, it was white gold with five real diamonds; it must have cost them a fortune.

I got up a hugged each one of the apart from Edward, I just thanked him. The look of hurt was clear to be seen on his face. Alice being Alice insisted that we played a game.

"Truth or dare"

"AWWWH GREAT"

I hate that game, I pick truth and they give the worst question that the answers will embarsse me or they give me a crazy dare.

Thankfully I was just after Edward I knew he would go easy on me, when it came to him he picked truth, Alice was asking him

"Do you love Bella?"

Everyone in the room went silent and they looked at him, I just kept my eyes on the ground and remained focused on the mat desperately wishing that the ground would open up and swallow me but no such luck, the floor was remaining intact.....definitely no whole going to pop open. I didn't look up when he answered because I knew I would just melt by looking into his eyes.

"Yes"

Was all he answered, Edward quickly moved on and he asked me

"Bella truth or dare?"

What do I pick Truth and have him ask me something I don't want to answer or dare and he will make me do something I want to do but can't?

"Truth"

What's the worst that can happen?

"Do you have any feelings for me at all?"

I knew I had to look into his eyes for him to believe what I said even if it was total rubbish

"No, nothing"

I why would he say he loved me, for God's sake all he wanted me for was the sex and when he had gotten that he would have ran adding another to his list, I thought he had changed but leopards don't change their spots.

And when he had looked into my eyes for long enough he got up and drove off, the rest decided it was time for them to go as well.

"Bella are you sure you don't want us to stay"

"No I'll be fine, as long as you will come in the morning to do my hair and make-up?"

"Well duhh, you wouldn't do it right"

They knew not to push for details Alice and Rosalie knew that I was lying, they knew that I still had feelings for Edward, but they also knew that it would be best for me to get over him. When everyone had left I just sat there and cried over Edward, and the fact that he can never know that I still love him, when It was total darkness I got up and turned the lights off I made sure my Chevy was locked and went to bed. I woke early the next morning to see both Rose and Alice standing at my wardrobe fully dressed.

The rest of the week went by slowly each morning Alice and Rose dressed me and done my hair and make-up, school was interesting I have never received so much attention from guys before I had a hundred different phone numbers and two dates next week, all the guys followed me around and Edward was getting more and more annoyed, but I couldn't stop I couldn't help but rub it in his face. I am actually starting to like the new Bella.

When I got home from school on Friday I was so excited about going back to phoenix I couldn't wait about seeing Jake and Billy, but also my parents it's been nearly a week since I last saw them.

EPOV

Every guy in school was swarming around her, this week has been the worst week of my life, Bella told me she felt nothing for me, her best friend is in love with her, she is spending the weekend with him and she is enjoying all the attention she's getting. Alice and Rosalie are going over to help her pack for her weekend away, I was getting depressed since I was dumped by Bella the girls in school don't see me the same, not that I would want any of them, Bella has changed me more than she will ever know, I had her but now she's gone forever.

BPOV

Alice had packed all my bags but I was just thinking about Edward, every free moment he was on my mind, I couldn't help but remember the look on his face when he seen me Monday morning or the look on his face when I gave him back his present or the look on his face when I told him I had zero feelings for him, but it showed that he didn't know me that well and it turned out to be a blessing, if he knew that when I told him I felt nothing for him that I was actually lying he may have pushed for the truth. But why would he say he still loved me? He couldn't have meant it, I mean I was horrible to him I gave him no reason to love me. Unless I was the one that he never got a chance to make a fool off, maybe I was the one who ruined his track record. I came back to reality when I saw what Alice and Rosalie were packing in my bag

"Hi hi those clothes were for teasing Edward, not to bring with me to phoenix"

"Ack come on Bella they looked lethal on you, plus you need to dress up for Jake"  
"Alice I never use to dress up for Jake"

"Bella you now know that he has feelings for you"  
"Rose I told you were friends"

They didn't listen to me at all they packed all the sluty clothes, but the scary thing is I'm really starting to like the way boys see me now.

Leaving Alice and Rosalie behind was hard; we have been inseparable since I first moved here two and a half months ago. I cried as they disappeared from my rear view mirror, there was a long drive in front of me. I made a few stops down the road for coffee. As I got closer I rang my mother to tell her I would soon be there, and to not to tall Jake that I'm coming, she told me that Jake was in the hospital with Billy and that they were back at Billy's house. I hadn't thought about the sleeping arrangements before, Billy had a three bedroom house where would I sleep? I followed mums directions to Billy's new house when I got there I hadn't realised how much I actually missed my parents. I was wearing and old baggy hoody and a pair of skinny jeans, Alice and Rosalie made me promise that I would change before any one saw me. So I carried my bags in and was met by my parents

"Bella I missed you so much"

My mother was suffocating me with a monster hug; it reminded me of Emmett's hugs. After mum and dad had quizzed me about my week they gave me a present, it was a beautiful necklace with a little locket, and inside they had put of photo of me and Jake when were younger, they left the other side empty. My mum had an idea to what I could put in the other side

"Maybe we could take a nice photo of you and Jake before we go home and you can put it in the other side"

"Yea sounds perfect mum, thank you"

I made my way up to Jake's room, they had put my stuff there saying that Jake could sleep in Billy's room, so after I had a good long hot shower I layed out my fresh clothes, Mum had said that we could take a run up to the hospital to see Billy and Jake and I was so excited. So I got dressed in the outfit Alice and Rosalie picked out, it was a black dress with blue leggings and high black shoes, I had a blue belt around my waist, and Alice had showed me how to do my eyes, so I had also blue eyes, I was very colour co-ordinated for once, normally I would stick on the first thing I meet I had a lot to learn about this whole fashion thing.

**A/N Hmmmmm how will Bella and Jakes reunion be??**

**Please review ideas are so very welcome!**

**x.x.x**


	9. Renounion

`Chapter 9

BPOV

As I walked in to the ward that Billy was on I ran to his bed side, when I saw him there with all those tubes and wires I cried, I never thought I would ever see billy so poorly, I gave him a hug although it was hard to do with all the wires this hug was a way to tell him how sorry I was for not being here, it was a big tight hug and it reminded me off Emmett, Emmett gave the most amazing hugs. I sat in the chair beside him and nearly roke down crying for the man who looked so weak, I never thought I would see him so frail and ill.

"Billy are you ok?"

"I'm fine Bella, It looks worse than it really is"  
Then Jake came into the room he was looking at a news paper when he walked in, he looked exhautesd as if he hadn't gotten much sleep, his long hair was gone it was all cut up short and spiked with gel, wow he had changed. When he looked up and saw me he dropped the news paper I got up from my chair and ran towards him by the time I was in his arm I was crying

"Jake, I missed you"

"I missed you too Bella"

Not only did Jake look different he also felt different, he had grew a lot I had too look up at him, Jake and I were aways the same height what the hell has he een eating miracle grow?? He was very well built his muscles were so toned, he looked so good looking, I never thought I would see jake in that way only now I realsied that I did care for jake more than a friend, but I also cared for edward, it was different but still I cared for them both, jake felt so warm, he felt like a hot water bottle. He was looking down at me because he was now so much taller than me.

"Bella, why didn't you tell me you were coming"

"Because it's a surprise duhh!"

I hugged him again, I always felt better when I was with Jake, he always made my problems go way, thats' why I loved him so much, yes love.....I do Love jake, I always have and I always will he will be the one who I grew up with, he will be the one who stood up for me against the bullies, Jake is my brother for all intensive purposes but now he is a lot more, he wil be the one I can run to when things go wrong Jake would make the ideal boyfriend, but I will always care for Edward even though I know he only wants to use me I will always love him. But now was time that I have wished for for so long, it was Jake and me time.

After Billy had fallen asleep Jake and I went home, I drove my chevy and he drove hs volswagen rabbit which he a practically all but built the car. As I arrived home I was really hungary and when I walked throught the front door and smelled mum's cooking I had a smile a mile wide on my face, this was the first time I had smiled and genuainly meant it since I before the whole Edward thing.

I made my way into the kitchen with Jake, we were very close because I could feel his arm brushing against mine and he was really hot, hot as in warm, well actually boiling. My mum just stood there with a sly smile playijng on her lips

"Bella dear after dinner your father and I are going to see billy, we want to give you two sometime to catch up"

So that's what she was smiling about, my mother has always had this dream that Jake and I would fall in love and settle down, Jake would make a great husband and lover but he simply wasn't Edward there are no two ways about it.

So as we made our way into the sitting room, I was thankful that I came already Jake and I were back to our old selves telling eachother everything that was necessary. I knew he was holding something back and I w anted to know what it is

"Jake what are you not telling me? Come on you can trust me!"

"No Bella, it's nothing.....what are you keeping form me"

I had been avoiding thinking about Edward all night, but it hurt not being able to tell Jake I wanted to but I just would not sipmly get through it without breaking down.

"Jake...I....can't.....it's complicated........you wouldn't...."

Jake took my hand in his and gave it a little squeeze and for two sec onds I seen my futuer with Jake, we were happily married and we were watching two little girls running around with a puppy, they had the most amazing long black hair, which they got form Jake and the curls form me. Then I snapped out of it with Jake saying

"Bella please tell me, there is something wrong with you.....is it a boy....has he....."

Jakes voice broke and he closed his eyes and began to concentrate on his breathing, he pinched the bridge of his nose and kept concentrating on his reathing, after a few moments he reopened his eyes and finished talking

"Bella has he hurt you?"

How could I lie to Jake, he was my best friend, I had to tell him, but I want something in return

"Jake if I tell you what is bothering me will you do something for me?"

He looked intensly into my eyes and said

"Anything Bella, just name it"

"Tell me what is wrong with you"

His face fell

"Anything but that"

"Jake you promised"

I looked into his eyes trying to make the moment intense, I wanted to.....I can't actually believe that I'm doing this but I am rying to dazzle Jake. He kept his eyes on mine then spoke

"Ok I will tell you, but you have to talk first"

Ok so here we go, prepare to be in pain Bella, prepare to tell your best friend about the boy thast broke your heart.....

"Well here I go, when I moved to forks at first I met a few people, and we became really good friends with nearly all of them, Alice, Emmett and Edward Cullen, and Jasper and Rosalie Hale."

Jake cut in

"Nearly all of them?"

"Yea Edward and I didn't get on actually we hated eachother"

I emphaisesd the hated eactother, and Jake caught on to this

"Hated?"

"Yea, after about two months of hating him I realised that I really cared for him, it was silly of me too deny the attraction I had for him, He told me he loved me and I belived him which was so stupid of me..."

"Why was it stupid?"

"Becasue he is the school player"  
The look on Jakes face was abivious, he knew where this story was going

"But I soon realised that he only wanted me for the sex, nd I didn't give him the chance to play me so I ended whatever it was we had, but the problem is......I Love him"

I had started to cry and Jake being Jake was there to hold me together. After a few moments of thoughtfull crying Jake spoke

"Bella did he evr hurt you?"

"No he just broke y heart"

I hadn't noticed it but Jake was shaking really badly, his breathing was coming quicker and he was al tensed up

"Jake whats wrong"

"He hurt you"

Yes it was true it did hurt but I was not letting anyone not even Edward destroy my time with Jake, this time was preacious.

"Jake he hurt me, but I am dealing with it, now this is me and you time......so you have to stick to your part of the deal"

I wiped away the remainder of my tears and looked to see Jake looking ack at me, he was thinging aout something really hard, the emotions flying across her face were anger, pian, sorrow, confusion and determination, he started

"Bella this changes nothing....."

He stopped and rephrased

"I'm still the same Jake........"

He stopped again

"I will always be here to protect you....."

What the hell is he trying to say?

"Jake spit it out"

"I've changed Bella, I've become a different person, "

"Jake you will always be the same to me, nothing can change that"

"But Bella I'm not completely........I'm a.............it's been passed throught generations of our tribe"  
Tribe? Jake hand't talked about the quiletes, he used to live n the reservation before his mum and dad split up. What possible impact could that have on how jake has changed?

"Jake you can tell me anything"

He looked deep into my eyes and found the what ever he seen he continued

"Bella, I'm a................"

**A/N Sorry about the whole cliff hanger and all but........well actually I just felt like it!**

**Soooooo.......heheheehehehe........do you like??**

**What is Jakes secret??**

**x.x.x**


	10. Secret?

**(A/N I am soooo sorry it took so long to update but I have no internet....:( and my school blocked fan fiction so I can't update there either.......I am soooooooooooo sorry!!**

**Forgive me??)**

Chapter 10

EPOV

Alice has just came back from Bella's and is talking with mum about how excited Bella was to be going back to pheonix, not once did my name come up, maybe Bella never cared for me at all. Maybe Bella was playing me, giving me a taste of my own medicine, now I know what it feels like.....How many girls have I hurt this way?

Mabe I could prove to Bella that I have changed, what if I apologize to every girl I have ever hurt or embarressed? What if I make it public that I am sorry? If I admit that i'm in love with Bella.

I practically ran to Alices room, she was sitting on her bed legs crossed talking to some one, she had big smile on her face...until she saw me then she said

"Rose I have to go my prick of a brother just ran in"

She hung up her phone and opened her mouth to shout at me but I didn't give her the chance, I quickly hopped onto the bed beside her

"Alice I need your help"

"Fuck off Edward...."

"Alice I want to prove something to Bella"  
That caught her attention, she closed her mouth and listened

"Alice I want Bella to know that she means every thing to me, I want her to understand that i'm not using her, I love her and I have to prove that to her, Alice please help me"

Alice looked shocked and she placed her hand over her mouth, and I could see tears form in her eyes Alice only done this when she was truly surprised

"Edward you do actually love her, don't you?"

"Yes Alice I really do, will you help me?"

"Edward do you swear to never hurt her again as long as you live?"

"I do"

"And that you will never cheat on or betray her?"

"I do"

"Then yes I will help you win Bellas forgivness"

That was music to my ears. Alice and I sat up most of the night deciding on which would be the best way to prove to Bella that I have changed. When we had finaly agreed on a plan it was dawn, the sun had started to rise, we had talked all night through right intil saturday morning. Alice finaly pushed me out of her room so she could get some sleep, but I was too excited about the fact that I may possibly get a chance to prove to Bella how much I love her. I lay in my bed and simply relived those short hours I spent being her boyfriend, my heart aching to have her beside me, to be able to place my hand on her cheek and feel the heat of her blush radiate from her.

I will not rest until I make Bella mine again, she is my life now.

BPOV

Jake was really scaring me now saying that he is still the same person and that he will always protect me, telling me he has changed, for some reason I believe that his new appearance has something to do with this. So I released my hands from his grip, and took his hands into my grip, I looked at him until he had relaxed and spoke

"Jacob please tell me, I will always be here for you, nothing you can do or say will ever change that, trust me with your secret"

That seemed to have done it because his eyes brightened and once again became full of life

"Bella, I know you will always be here for me, as will I for you but, there is something important I have to tell you and without a doubt it is going to change your life...even though I am putting you in danger by simply just being alone with you I am also saving you. Bella do you remember the old stories I told you about our tribe?"

Why is he bringing up his tribe again, the old stories were just ledgends about men turning into werewolves to fight against vampires....I must be thinking of the wrong stories.

"I think I do, which ones"

"The ones about our tribe being able to transform into wolves"

O My God what is he saying...................?

I couldn't speak so I just nodded my head to let him kow that he should continue speaking

"Bella....those stories are true.....they are not ledgends it actually happened"

No no no no this could not be happening

"But Jake how do you know"  
That's when it clicked with me, Jake was so much taller, and stronger and different, no my jake couldn't be......a.......! But it was obivious it was the only reasonable soloution.

"Because Bella I am one, my father and I never believed the old stories, we were told that the wolf gene died out with my great granfather, but when one of my old friends Sam Uley from the reservation called up and spent sometime with us he knew what was happening to me, I had constant mood swings and I wasn't normal...."

He stopped talking when I took my hands off his, he thought I was going to leave because I could see that worried look in his eyes, but instead I pulled him in for a hug, I held him tight and whispered

"Jake you thought I would run away from you because of something that you couldn't have possibly avoided, Jake I will never run away from you I love you"

He froze and I knew why, I had said that with much more intensity that I had inteneded.....Ok so maybe I did love Jake a little more than I should, he was a safer option. How could I possibly love two people, two people that are so different?

I pulled back from Jake and said

"Jake I want you to tell me everything"

And he did Jake told me absouloutly every thing, he told me about how he bacame this way, he said that the only reason the wolf gene kicked in was because there was vampires around, and that vampires where mortal enemies to the wolves and that they are so much more dangerous.

The came the heart breaking part Jake had told me that the stress of his secret was the cause of Billy's heart attack.

Jake didn't know what to do he felt so bad, he was balming himself for his fathers heart attack, Sam and a few other boys from the reservation called by and took Jake saying that they patroll the perimeters of the city making sure that there are no vampires close. So I was left alone sitting there trying to digest Jake's secret. He was so different but at the same time he was still the same Jake that I had grown up with.

I went upstairs and went to bed I was going to call Alice but I knew she would want a lt of detail and I was afraid to talkto her incase I let Jakes secret escape, s I decided it would be safer to ring her in the morning. So I went to bed.....and the nightmares began.

_Bella's Nightmare_

_Jake and I are walking in the woods hand in hand, talking about something important and out of know where the most beautiful woman I have ever seen jumped out of the trees and headed straight for me, she was so magnificante, even thought she was leaping towards me she looked so graceful, something was wrong with her eyes they did not look natural they were crimson red, her perfect lips pulled ack over a brilluant mouth of teeth that were gleaming and as white as snow, I ican feel Jakes arms around me protecting me and she lifts his as if he was a sheet of paper and throws him into the trees, she turns and faces me she say's something but I can't hear her over the wind that I had just noticed, She comes and grabs my hair pulling my head backwards so she has a perfect view of my neck.....I can see a beautiful russet coloured wolf running towards me, it gentll knocks me out of the way causing me to land on the ground and I'm watching the fight in fornt of me, then the wind dies down and I can hear screaming..............._

_Bella feels warm hands hugging her_

"Bella, Bella it's ok I'm here"

I woke up in Jake's arms, he was holding me tight against his bare chest, he was so warm he nuzzled his face into my hair and whispered into my ear

"Bella what did you see?"

"A wolf....and some beautiful woman were fighting, you i think the wolf was you, I don't know who the woman was but you were fighting over me and you were getting hurt, I could see the blood and then......"

I had started to cry and I couldn't talk any more, Jake just rocked us back ad forth, whispering soothing words into my ear, I started to tire and I went limp in his arms I could feel him lying me down on the bed and get off my bed to leave the room, but I felt safer with hyim around

"Jake stay with me please, I feel safer with you around"

He did as I asked and climbed into the single bed beside me, I didn't need a blanket because he was that hot, he out his arms around me and I felt at home, I felt as if this is where I belonged. I knew I was meant to thinking about some one else. I knew it should have beent their arms around me but for now this is all I wanted, Jake is all I wanted. I woke up the next mornung in Jakes arms and I looked up towards his face only ti be met by his dazzling smile.

"Good morning sun shine"

"Morning Jake"

We got up for breakfast, and I found a note from my parents

_Bella _

_we are away to vist some old friends and then we are going to visit Billy._

_-Mum_

_x.x.x_

So that Jake and I more time to talk but first I must ring Alice.

EPOV

Alice screamed down the phone to who ever had called, a gut instict told me it was Bella, so I went and stood outside Alice's door, the converstaion went llike this

"Hey, Bells I'm missing uou so much, this house is so empty without you"

"So how is Billy"

I knew by the way Alice was talking she was grining

"And hows Jake"

Jake, him the friemd that had feelings for my Bella, no Edward she's not your Bella........but still he would surly try something with her after all she is totally irristable.

"OMG Bella, he totally mad for you...."

"What do you mean you can't?"

"Who else is there?"

Alice didn't sound the same she sounded as if she already knew what she being told and was using a fake tone to answer Bella.

"O Bella, you stil care for him?"

"Yes I understand that he had played you"

"Yea...Ok.......luv you.....bye"

There was defiantly no way in hell Bella is ever goimg to give me a scond chance. I wonder what she is doing this exact second, is she with him? What is he thinking? It's time like this when I wish I could read minds.

BPOV

I wonder what he's doing now, who he's with? Has he moved on? This was drving me crazy not knowing what he was doing or how he is thinking. I want to be able to see him a for a few short seconds just to put my mind at ease and I have no idea why I am so obsessed because he is no longer my Edward. Not that he was my Edward for long but still he was mine at a time.

Jake is out doing some shopping and I am left walking around this house in danger of my own mind. Just as I walk by a mirror and see my refletion I nearly screamed in horror, my hair is all over the place and my eyes are red from all the crying I have done in the past 15 hours and I just simply look a mess. How could Jake bare to even look at me never mind hold me in his arms when I was crying. So I ran up the stairs and sorted out a nice clean set of fresh clothes. After I had a really hot shower and had my hair dried, I set to work on my make up, I wasn;t the best at doing my own make-up but I was getting better at it. After I had it all completed I got dressed and headed down stairs only to be met by some one who I was defiantely not expecting to see here..........

EPOV

I had to get out of this house I wanted to get away, every one here just felt sorry for me, they fel sory that I had screwed it up with the most amaing woman on this planet, they felt sorry that I had lost the one person who ever had any chance of making me an honest man.

I got out and jumped into my Volvo, when I got in I could smell her scent, it was very very faint but I have been craving that scent all week, no-one else would be able to smell it apart from me. So I just let the road lead me, I went faster and faster, no idea where I was going just depending on the road to led me somewhere good. When I got there I felt instantly relaxed.

(**A/N Sorry if there was any spelling mistakes....**

**Please Review**

**x.x.x)**


	11. I'm too sexy for my shirt

**(A/N Hey Hey…. easy Internet access….:) whoo hoo**

**Please enjoy….and if you do please review**

**Disclaimer- Unfortunately I never have and never will own twilight…..:(**

**x.x.x)**

Chapter 12

I'm too sexy for my shirt…..

BPOV

"Billy what.....why.......when did you get out?"

Billy Black or the frail frame of Billy was standing before me with his arm around my fathers shoulder supporting himself upwards, was looking at me with a big wide grin.

"Well your parents told the doctor that they would stay with me and help me until I have completely recovered, so they thought that it was ok to come home"

I ran over to him to give him a big hug, it was easier to do this time there was no wires or tubes, I hugged him so tight I could hear him gasp for air

"O sorry, it's just so good to see you up and about"

We all went into the living room and talked about the new temporary living arrangements, I would go back to Forks tomorrow and mum and dad would stay here. Jake had arrived in the mean time and came to joined us. He had been given leave from school because of Billy's heart attack.

He would come back to Forks with me so I wouldn't be alone, and for other reasons that my parents knew nothing about.

Jake told Billy about telling me his secret but Billy already knew that he would tell me, recently there have been a few suspicious killings around Port Angeles so Jake was coming to protect me.

So after we had all the plans arranged mum made dinner, Dad and Billy watched the base ball game and Jake and I went up Jakes room, we sat on the bed just talking, he wanted to know all about my new life in Forks and I told him all there was to tell but leaving out the bits that involved Edward.......yeesh even thinking his names made my body go numb.

EPOV

This is a place were I always come to calm down or take my mind of things, this place is my meadow. No-one else knows about it or least I don't think any body does because no-body ever come's here. I walked out into the middle of the flowers and I can feel the sun hit my body from all different directions,

I lie down on the grass my mind filling of Bella, the way she walked into that class on the day of her birthday, how she looked at me when I gave her that present.....it looked like she wanted to keep it and forgive me, but she didn't instead she went and sat beside Mike Newton of all people, I really hope she knows better than to date him, he is a freak. He constantly stalks any girl that holds his interest.

I miss her so much, I can't wait until she comes home so I can see her again and put my

'Get Bella back' plan, which Alice had proudly named it, into action.

I was imagining what it is going to be like at school on Monday.

BPOV

So here I am getting ready to leave the sun and the heat, to go back to cold wet dreary Forks. The only good thing about going back is that I get to see him...even though I won't be able to talk to him I will be able to look at him. Edward Cullen has the most perfectly formed ass I have ever seen, his eyes are like deep pools of emerald green and his hair...whoa....his hair is the most god- damned sexiest bed hair I have ever seen on any man.

Edward Cullen is truly one of a kind.

Jake is following in his car as he may have to back home during the week if the pack need him to help with the patrols.

For some reason I had dealt with the fact that Jacob is a werewolf quite well. Well strictly speaking he isn't a Were wolf he is a shape shifter, but it was wolf that he turned into.

"_**Welcome to Forks"**_

Urgh.....Forks, great to be home??

Not really that just means being close to Edward, but not being able to touch or talk to him.

I pulled into our drive way and got out of my truck, I left my bags because I had gotten a bad head ache, and a sore throat so I went inside and put on the kettle for a cup of tea, Jake followed me in.

"Bella you seriously left Phoenix...for this"

He sounded totally disgusted.

"Yea I know but you get used to it, I was the same when I first arrived"

When I had first came here I vowed that I would hate it, but when I met the Cullen's and the Hale's that soon changed, I remembered thinking that the trees were wrong because there were all green no brown trunk, every thing was covered in green moss here, if felt all wrong and out of character.

I snapped out of my reverie with Jake shouting at me

"WOW Bella...are you ok?"

I hadn't realised that I was 2 inches off the ground with Jake holding me

"O yea...I'm fine just a little light headed and I have a faint head ache....I think I'm going to have an early night"

Knock Knock....

Ring Ring....

"Bella Bella"

There goes my early night, I knew Alice must have been doing a drive by because she was rapping on the door. I was afraid that she was going to break it down, so I let her in she rushed right by me straight to the kitchen were Jake was now making the tea and singing at the same time.

Jake- "I'm too sexy for my shirt

too sexy for my shirt......"

When she ran into the kitchen she stopped breathing then looked at me, she as getting the wrong picture...what she saw was a half naked incredibly good looking young man standing in my kitchen.

It wasn't hard getting used to Jake just walking around in a pair of shorts, it had something to do with him having the wolf gene, it meant he had a higher body temperature.

"You are???????"

She sounded disappointed and also annoyed.

Jake walked towards her and raised his hand to shake while he spoke

"I'm Jacob Black, Bella's friend"

Alice raised her hand towards his and went to shake it but changed her mind at the last second and instead she pulled him in for a hug, after she released him and his blush has disappeared she spoke again

"I'm Alice Cullen"

In her chirpy little musical voice, she was shifting her weight between her feet, O no what is she up to....Alice only ever does this when she has a plan she is sticking to. She spun away form Jake and grabbed my hand pulling me towards the door, then she turned to Jake

"You don't mind if I borrow her do you? I just need some clothes advice?"

"No, no work away.....I'll just get my bags from the car"

Alice's smile disappeared from her face, she turned to me and looked at me with no emotion on her face, she tightened her grip on my had and pulled me up to my room, as soon as she walked in she sat on my bed

"Alice what is the matter?"

There was two ways I knew something was wrong

1) She never needed fashion advice from any one especially not me, and

2) she seemed to be distracted.

"Bella, you didn't tell me that Jake was as good looking as that? And why is he bringing bags in?"

"Yea well I didn't think of him that way and he came to stay for a while to take his mind off Billy's heart attack"

Her eyes shot up towards me, and I realised what I had said **'didn't'** what did that mean?

Ok so maybe I was a little bit attracted to Jake, well you could hardly turn him away, he is stunning his perfectly tanned skin, which matches his hair and eyes perfectly, he was well built and had the most amazing personality. OK I had a big attraction towards Jake!

"Bella, he is in Love with you"

She came straight out with it.....but Jake didn't love me, did he? Could I actually love Jake as much as I love Edward? Could we have a future together? Hmmmmm.......could I love Jake.....??

"No Alice don't be silly"

"No seriously Bella, he is the ways he looks at you, it's the same way as Edward...."

She stopped when she seen me tense up at the mention of his name, she put me, Edward and Love in the same sentence was she crazy I was going to start crying....no wait too late....I'm already in hysterics

"Why..*gasp*..can't..*gasp*..I..*gasp*..get..*gasp*..over..*gasp*..him? It..*gasp*..hurts so..*gasp*..much to be away..*gasp*..from him"

I managed to get out between gasps for air, Alice had wrapped her tiny little pixie arms around me, she had no idea how I felt she was never treated like this, I heard some noise in the spare room next door, it must be Jake putting his clothes away, but it sounded as if there was a fight going on, the sound of wood snapping and glass breaking......I could feel so much anger radiating from the next room and I'm sure Alice could feel it too....what had Jake to get angry about.....crap he heard me talking and most likely crying over Edward.....shit!!

I got up form my bed and ran towards the room next door to mine, when I opened the door and seen what was standing in the middle of the floor I nearly screamed....but managed to stop it form escaping my lips when I seen those eyes, those eyes of the person who could never hurt me even if he tried...but Alice was not allowed to see this.

What would she do if she seen a Were wolf in the spare bedroom?

I shut the door quickly and turned to Alice who was straining over me to see inside

"Alice I think you should go home. I'm not feeling too well and I want to have a lie down"

She understood that I needed time and space so she left after giving me a tight hug and a few words of comfort

"Bella he still loves you...." (I wish) "...he is sorry for hurting you" (I wish again) "......it will all work out" (I wish again)

Then she left I ran back up the stairs to see what damage had been caused, but by the time I got back up Jake was lying on the bed with just a pair of shorts on, he was curled up into a ball and was facing away form me. I slowly walked across the room not knowing what to expect, when I got closer I could hear him sob.

"Jake...Jake what's wrong?"

I asked while climbing up beside him, I could see tears in his eyes

"Bella I never wanted you to see me so out of control like that, I put you in so much danger"

He was beating himself up, how can I make him understand that he will always be the same Jake.

"What happened, what set you off...what made you change?"

I was genuinely curious, was it something he could just simply turn on and off, or was it only at certain times it worked

"I could hear you crying...and I knew it was over him...then I got angry at him for hurting you...then I started to shake and then I transformed"

So anger was a key to his transformation, if this is what happened when he heard me cry over Edward, what will he do when he meets him??

Would I be able to control myself around him??

How would Edward react to me having Jake live with me, in the same house as me....sleeping right next door to me??

**(A/N Hummph….so how was it???**

**Hope you liked….you will discover later on why I brought Jake into the story.**

**Please review**

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	12. Hanging by a moment

**(A/N Hey hey....no I did not die...or forget my story, I am sorry but I didn't know how to continue....but I finally decided on this.....I apologise again for taking so long...I hope it is good enough!!**

**Disclaimer- I have not, Do not and never will own Twilight :(**

**x.x.x)**

Chapter 12

**Hanging by a moment**

Alice POV

I went back over to Bella's I wanted to make sure she was ok. She told me that she was feeling ill but I knew her enough to know something else was wrong, I went back over and I could hear Bella's laugh come from the kitchen, hearing her laugh made me relax, as long as she is ok now, my mind can relax. I followed her laugh which lead me to the kitchen, I had smile on my face before I even walked in, I was just so relieved that she was ok...then I saw them.

Bella was sitting on the kitchen counter with her legs around Jake's waist, he had his arms around her, and all he was wearing was a pair of shorts. They where cuddling and holding each other tightly as if the world was about to end, there was a connection there, some thing that looked very unbreakable.

I had my car keys in my hand but when I saw them like that I dropped them, Edward had screwed up he had drove Bella into the arms of her best friend who was madly in love with her, Jake was there for her when she needed him. There bond probably got stronger during the weekend she spent with him in phoenix.

I turned on my heels and ran, I ran to my car jumped in and headed straight for home.....with one mission on my mind....to literally kill Edward...he has officially ruined his chances with Bella, he has hurt her bad, she may never be able to trust another guy again.

EPOV

Alice stormed into the living room, came to my side grabbed me by my top and pulled me up, she pushed me towards the wall and pushed me up against it, then went for my neck, it took both her small little hands choke me.

She may be small, but when she gets angry she finds a hidden strength.

"You stupid prick, look what you've done, you drove her away"

She banged my head hard against the wall

"She is over there with her half naked best-friend, who so happens to be staying with her until her parents come back, which may not be for a few weeks"

She banged my head again.

"Edward Cullen I will kill you, do you know how perfect you are for each other? Do you know how much she loved you? Do you even know how much you loved you did I could see it and I am never wrong, what was the fucking problem? Did you not want to give up your reputation eh? No longer being able to be called the school player?"

She waited and when I didn't answer she banged my head again.

"Edward, if she falls for Jake, I will kill you if you hadn't have tried so desperately to get her into bed then things would have been ok, but no you think about yourself, honestly how did you think she would take it? Or was that your plan all along? Make her fall in Love with you, make all us believe that you had changed and then what just bed her and run....you are an excuse of a man"

I hadn't said one word, instead I was listening to all she had said and realising that Bella was being comforted this very second by a man who was in Love with her. I bet she deserved him, and if he helped her when I hurt her then he deserved to be loved by her, but I am not that generous, I love Bella, no-one wants to hear my end of the story, no-one wants to listen to me and you know what?...it's not fucking fair.

"Shut your mouth Alice"

She removed her hands from my neck; I used my hand to push her away. She lost her balance and fell over the table. Jasper who must have just came home from his football trip, came bursting into the living room at the exact second I pushed Alice, he came straight for me and boxed me.....and that is the last thing I can remember.

I came round lying on the sofa with my mum and dad looking over me, I heard the front door bang and cars drive off the front street.

I looked at my mother who was looking at me with a sad expression on her face, she answered my unasked question.

"They are all away to Bella's"

It hurt, no-one cared, they didn't want to know what happened, they didn't want to believe that I have changed....why should I bother any more, no body wants to believe me, no-body cares....why should I ?

I got off the sofa a little light headed but grabbed my car keys and left, for the nearest bar I could get to.

BPOV

She just left, picked up her keys and left, it wasn't what it looked like. Jake was just being his funny self, after I had made him believe that he could never actually hurt me and that I would never leave him because of what is going on. We went to the kitchen to cook something for dinner, when Jake decided to go all hyper and chase me around the kitchen whilst barking...he was so funny and made me forget all my problems, worries and thoughts about Edward.

After I had fallen numerous times he lifted me and sat me on the counter. I hugged him, just like old times, Jake and I together just the way best friends should be. If you have ever tried it, it is awkward hugging someone whilst sitting on a counter so to make it easier I wrapped my legs around his waste, he knew that what he wanted it to mean was exactly not what it meant, I think Jake had gotten the impression that I thought nothing more of him that just a brother and I think he was accepting that and that just made me love him even more.

After Alice ran out, Jake gathered me in his arms and brought me to the living room. I wanted to ring Alice but I was crying that hard I couldn't even talk. I cried over every thing, over my pain over Edward, Billy being ill, Alice running out, and even the fact that I was wasting time crying when I should be talking to Alice. Jake had managed to get me stopped crying saying that Alice would calm down and return, then I could talk to her.

And he was right, 10 minutes later I could hear two cars pull up outside my house. I ran to the window to see my best friends walk towards my door and each of them had a sleeping bag with them, Emmett had two bags of crisps and sweets and Alice had DVD's....I love them all I really do.

I fell asleep and can just remember Jake putting me to my bed.

I woke up the next morning to see Alice and Rosalie in their sleeping bags on the floor beside my bed. Next door I could hear laughing; well at least the boys are getting along. I got up and made my way to them. I walked in and went straight to Jake and sat on his knee. Jasper and Emmett just looked at me as if I had two heads then shook themselves out of it and looked away.

O.....this must have looked a little strange

"Guys....it's not what it looks like I swear"

Emmett was first to answer

"No Bella....you don't have to prove yourself to us, I am happy you have gotten over Edward. He doesn't deserve a girl like you; well to be honest no guy will ever be good enough for you...."

Awwwh Emmett always the over protective brother. I left Jakes side and went to Emmett and hugged him, and I whispered in his ear so only he could hear

"Emmett I still love Edward"

Emmett tightened the hug, his way of letting me know that he was there for me.

EPOV

I went to the bar and seen a group of pretty girls, I went over to them and offered to buy the nearest one a drink of course she took me up on the offer and that was that. I spent the whole night listening to her life story, she would always try and kiss me but I pulled away, I was hoping that any minute now I would get over Bella and get on with my life....but no that was not going to happen.

It was getting late and the girl Sophie I think was her name tried again to kiss me, I just stood up finished my drink and left, she came out after me and I just told her

"I'm sorry but you're just not Bella"

I left her standing there confused, but I didn't care this ache for Bella was never going to leave, I have to make this right, I have to make everyone believe that I truly love Bella, that I didn't try and play her, that every one has gotten the wrong end of the stick.

I went home and took out my guitar, I sat on my bed thinking of Bella and the words just came, I wrote them down and before I knew it I had written a song. I knew what I had to do.

I fell asleep thinking of ways that I could make her see that I love her.

BPOV

This is the best Monday ever, I was taking the day off school and so where the others, we decided that it was a long over due lazy day, I heard the door bell ring and went to answer it, I had no idea why someone would be calling here, every one knew that my parents where away. I opened the door and seen....the person who I have been longing to see, to touch and to be close to again. He stood there with a guitar in his arms, standing with one foot up on the deck chair and a desperate look in his eyes then he began to sing.

EPOV

I couldn't think of anything amazing to do so I stuck with a simple way, I walked to her front door and rang the door bell, like I said simple. She opened the door and just looked at me, she looked as if there was some fraction of her happy to see me and that alone gave me the courage to begin my song, or her song.

Desperate for changing  
Starving for truth  
Closer to where I Started  
Chasing after you

I'm falling even more in love with you  
letting go of all I've held on to  
I'm standing here until you make me move  
I'm hanging by a moment here with you

Forgetting all I'm lacking  
completely and complete  
I'll take your invitation  
you take all of me

now.. I'm falling even more in love with you  
letting go of all I've held onto  
I'm standing here until you make me move  
I'm hanging by a moment here with you

I'm livin for the only thing I know  
I'm running and I'm crashing  
where to go?  
and down I know I'd like to be in tune  
Just hanging by a moment here with you

There's nothing else to lose  
nothing else to find  
There is nothing in the world that can change my mind  
There is nothing else  
there is nothing else..

Desperate for changing  
Starving for truth  
Closer to where I Started  
Chasing after you

I'm falling even more in love with you  
Letting go of all I've held onto  
I'm standing here until you make me move  
I'm hanging by a moment here with you

I'm livin for the only thing I know  
I'm running and I'm crashing  
where to go?  
And down I know I'd like to be in tune  
just hanging by a moment here with you

just hanging by a moment  
hanging by a moment...  
hanging by a moment...  
hanging by a moment here with you

I stood there just looking into her wet eyes; she had begun crying and shaking. My singing hadn't gone unnoticed. Alice and Rose where standing behind Bella, Alice also had tears in her eyes, Rose was just staring at me, Emmett was half way between grinning at me and glaring at me. Jasper just looked smug and Jake looked pissed, he was shaking and trembling I thought he was going to explode. I looked back at Bella and hoped she could see the apology in my eyes, her hand came to her chest and rested there then she whispered my name, I took and involuntary step towards her.

She never broke eye contact with me, she came closer and just when I thought she would take another which would leave her right beside me and would give me the chance to hold her in my arms, Jake spoke

"Bella"

It sounded angry and pained. Her eyes widened and she looked at him, she ran to his side and hugged him whispering over and over

"It's ok Jake, calm down....come on breathe, calm down"

It hurt to see her comforting him like that, she had her arms around him rubbing his back and arms, she looked frantic as if she was afraid of what he might do if she let go, but Jake was pushing her away

"Bella...go....I can't your....not safe"

With one final push he was freed from her grip and he ran, he ran towards the woods that were right outside Bella's house, he was fast, that fast that I nearly missed him run by me. Bella was froze to the spot her tears coming quicker. She ran back into the house and returned with her coat.

"I have to go after him......"

It hurt me deeper to see how she wanted to follow him, maybe I was too late, Alice was right.

I went to turn away and go home and lock my self in my room, when I heard her.

"Edward, I have to go after him. He is my best friend; he was there for me when I needed him."

She was closer now; her hand was on my back,

"Edward, I don't know how I would be now if it weren't for him, Please don't be angry, I love him too....we can talk later"

Talk she wanted to talk, to me....she loves him too....does that mean she still loves me? I turned to her and seen a small smile on her face, that little smile alone gave me hope. I grabbed her hand just to make sure that this wasn't just my imagination, her smile grew. I had totally forgotten about the others standing watching us, I just went with the flow and took her in my arms and kissed her. At first she was a little reluctant but she soon kissed me back, and this kiss was like our first kiss only better, all our emotions where making themselves crystal clear at this very second.

She pulled away and whispered

"Later"

Then she ran off after Jake. Emmett squeezed my shoulder

"Edward, I mean it. You listen to her, and if she forgives you Edward don't mess it up, because I don't think she will survive all this again"

Jasper came next

"Edward, I know you didn't mean to hurt Alice but think of it this way imagine that I done that to Bella. I know you love her that much I can see but like Emmett said, I don't think she will last if you mess her around again"

Alice came next and hugged me

"Edward, finally you show us the real you"

Rose just looked puzzled

"I never knew you could sing, never mind play guitar"

They all left in their cars, I did the same I drove home in a day dream. The others weren't going to school, so neither did I.

**(A/N Sooooo will Bella give him that all important second chance?? That song was Hanging by a moment- Life House-----So I hoped it was worth the wait....and I really am sorry it took so long.**

**Please review and tell me what you think**

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	13. He cares?

**(A/N Hey…so here we go another chapter…hope you like**

**Please review**

**Disclaimer- I do not, have not and never will own Twilight…. :(**

**x.x.x)**

Chapter 13

**He cares???**

BPOV

As he sang I could feel my tears come fast, I couldn't believe that the Edward Cullen was singing for me, right here in front of my house. He stood there singing his feelings to me, what if someone from school heard this? His reputation would be completely destroyed, would he really give that up for me? Could he care enough?

He stepped towards me, not saying another word, all I wanted in that second was to be held in his arms, to feel his arms around me, I closed the distance and then I heard Jake. I could hear the anger and annoyance in his voice, I looked around at him and I seen how much he was struggling, he was shaking and his eyes where full of pain and fury. I ran to his side and hugged him, I rubbed his back

"It's ok Jake, calm down....come on breathe, calm down"

He didn't calm instead he pushed me away, I knew he was protecting but it hurt, it felt as if he didn't want me either, just the way Edward was so keen to get me into bed that night before everything in my life changed.

Since that night so much has happened, my best friend is a werewolf, I realised how much I actually loved Edward. I have gotten myself a new reputation in school whilst destroying Edwards. My friends have become even more important to me, without them I wouldn't have been able to get out of bed the morning after I kicked Edward out.

But as I seen Jake run into the woods I knew that he should not be alone, he needs to know that I am here for him and that I will help him with every ounce of my being, he has helped me so much it is only fair I am here for him, forgetting what was going on around me I ran for my coat, when I came back out I could see the hurt in Edward's eyes, just seeing hurt in his eyes gave me hope that maybe he did care, maybe he wanted me more than just for sex, maybe I meant more to him...but right now I need to be there for Jake.

I seen Edward turn to walk away, he hung his head in defeat I need him to know that we need to talk, and settle this like adults.

"Edward, I have to go after him. He is my best friend; he was there for me when I needed him."

I needed Edward to understand, he needed to know how much this meant to me. I seen his head come up slightly as I said this, he had stopped walked so he was within reaching distance I wearily placed my hand on his back, I wanted him to face me, I wanted to look into his eyes when I told him this,

"Edward, I don't know how I would be now if it weren't for him, Please don't be angry, I love him too....we can talk later"

I seen understanding flash in his eyes when he registered what I had said, I wanted him to know that we would talk, that I wouldn't ignore him any more. Truth be told I don't think I could ignore him any more, I was too selfish for that, I would need to hear his voice or look into his eyes or I would go totally insane, but right now Jake was my priority.

Edward came closer to me and I step closer to him, I was lost in his eyes, don't get e wrong it was a good place to get lost but not right now, he eagerly took my hand in his, he was holding on tight and the feeling that went through my body over whelmed me, it bought back flash backs of the chemistry we shared, I am aware that I only spent little over 24 hours being close to Edward, but it was long enough for me to get addicted to him.

Then his lips where on mine, I was that caught up in my own thoughts that I hadn't even seen him come closer to me, his lips where urgent on mine, I could feel my resolve crumble. I wanted us to talk through this before we decided what would happen but when you have Edward Cullen kissing you, you tend to forget how to think reasonably, so I kissed him back with as much emotion as I could possibly muster into a kiss.

Images of those short few hours where dancing behind my eyelids, then I remembered Jake, he needs me and I need him. I pulled away from Edward, as hard as it was but I done it and told him I would talk to him later, I ran off without looking back and entered the woods where I had seen Jake enter.

I left the others behind me, with just finding Jake on my mind.

"Jake...Jake......it's me Bella, where are you"

I have been out here for at least an hour, I am completely lost and have no clue where I am but the most worrying bit is I can't find Jake anywhere. The sun was in the sky and it was really hot, the sun was burning my skin, the one day I get lost in the woods happens to be a sunny day...which might I add very rare for Forks.

My throat was dry and I was tired so I sat down on a log calling Jakes name one last time.

I sat there for a while using the time I had to think about my life right now, thinking about how I was going to get myself sorted out, first of all I needed to find Jake, then I needed to sort everything out with Edward and then I have a crap load of homework to do.

I could hear something move in the trees, what ever it was it was big, the whole bush was shaking and to say that I was scared would be an understatement, I was freakin terrified. I held my breath and waited for what ever it was to come out....and what comes out? Only Jake!

"Sorry Bella"

I got up from my log and ran to him, I wrapped my arms around him and held him tight to me, the thought that he was in pain killed me, it was in that exact second that I knew my feelings for Jake had gotten stronger.

"Jake are you ok…"

He put his arms around me and held me tight, I felt happy here with him, but this happiness had nothing on what I felt when Edward kissed me, I know it was Edward being there that had set Jake off, but if Edward and I are going to talk about this and sort it out Jake has to prepared for all possible out comes.

"Yea Bella I'm fine, I'm sorry for doing that but I needed to get away…in case I actually killed him"

It hurt like a knife when he said that, I knew that Jake wouldn't like Edward but I love Edward, how can I love the two main men in my life when one wants to kill the other.

"Jake, I love you both…I can't chose. I want to have you both with me."

He stood back from me, and I could see hurt in his eyes.

"Bella how could you still love him even after what he did, he treated you like one of his sluts"

"Jake, I haven't heard his side of the story, yes I still love him, I can't just suddenly stop because we fell out. I wish it worked that way, I wish it was as easy as that just to turn my feelings off then my life wouldn't be so complicated"

A tear rolled down his cheek and he sighed in defeat

"Bella if he is what you want and he makes you happy…then I'm happy. As long as he never hurts you again, because if he does I will not be held responsible for my actions"

I enclosed him in another hug

"Thank you Jake"

I will do all I can to keep the two men I love happy, Jake will always by my brother he will always be my best friend and he will be there for me, but Edward I can't imagine my life without him.

EPOV

The sun was so hot; it turned out to be one of those rare days that it was actually really sunny in Forks. I felt happy as happy as I have been in over a week, but going through a week with Bella hating me was so hard, knowing that she hated me for what she thought I wanted.

I am not blaming Bella for this because I know now what it looked like, I know that with my reputation it looked bad, so that is where I start…I am going to get rid of my reputation.

Alice came to sit with me in the back yard, she smiled up at me and all I could do was smile back.

"Edward, you done it. You showed us all the real you. I knew that deep down there was more to you than just a player….and I hope that even thought Bella said she will talk to you …you won't push her…because I don't want to see either of you mop around like that again…..I mean it was as if you had both lost you right arms"

How could she sit there and tell me that Bella was moping about…Bella was definitely not moping about…

"Bella was fine; she showed me no hint of hurt"

Alice looked at me and stated

"O she was hurting but she thought that if she hid it from us that she would get over her hurt, she tried so hard to hide her feelings for you. As well you know…but Edward she was hurting so bad deep down"

I felt terrible for hurting her like that…I will make it up to her, if she lets me, I need her to believe me when I tell her how much I love her…..she needs to know…I need her to know.

**(A/N Sooooo….I know its short…sorry about that…**

**So what should we make Edward do to make it up to Bella….how will he get rid of his reputation…..please help meeeeeeeeeeee……and leave a little innocent review that will seriously make my day ….:)**

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	14. The Alice drawer

**(A/N Hey hey....thank you to all that have review and read this story!**

**Disclaimer- I do not, have not and never will own Twilight…. :(**

**x.x.x)**

Chapter 14

**The Alice drawer!**

Coming Home

BPOV

Jake had insisted on carrying me back to the house after I fell for what must have been the 6th time, he carried me bridal style whilst telling me some lame joke one of his friends had told him. We arrived back at the house and my stomach rumbled so loud Jake heard it and started to laugh, then within in mere seconds of him laughing at me his stomach growled just as loud which then caused me to go into a round of hysteria.

Finally we managed to walk to the kitchen, I pulled out some bread and made a few sandwiches, and I felt happy, knowing that I would be able to talk to Edward. My lips where still tingling from when he kissed me and it only left me craving for more.

I knew that this could become seriously complicated; I mean there is a trust issue between us. I need to be sure I can trust him before we even think about having a steady relationship. I want us to do this properly this time round.

Alice called me just about dinner time and asked if I had any plans for Saturday, I looked towards Jake and asked him he said he had none and then I answered Alice, when she heard that we where both free she said she was planning a day out for us that we would just have some time to hang out.

I was really happy that my friends liked Jake, he got on well with Jasper and Emmett but also Rosalie and Alice also liked him, I think that was because they knew he was good for me, they knew that he had helped me when I needed help. The only problem was that I had a distinct feeling that Edward did not like Jake one bit.

Then my mum rang

"Hey baby, how are you?"

"I'm fine mom how are you and dad"

"Ok we're ok, Billy's fine too....actually the reason I called is that we ave some good news for both you and Jake"

I put her on loud speaker so that Jake could hear as well,

"Ok shoot..."

I told her waiting on the good news

"Well, Billy has decided that he and Jake are going to move back to the reservation"

I looked at Jake and seen that he was grinning ear to ear, this was brilliant news, La push the reservation where Jake lived while Billy and his mum before she left, and La Push reservation is only 25 minutes from here!

"That is great mum, when are you coming back"

She babbled on for another while telling me how much she was enjoying the good weather. Finally when she shut up and got off the phone it was late, Jake was lying on the sofa on his mobile talking to one of his wolf friends. When he seen me get up he ended his conversation and stood up.

"Bella, I may have to leave tomarrow and help out with the guys, so I'll not be here when you come home from school"

I felt bad that Jake would be stuck here on his own when I was in school but now that he has some where to go I felt better. Jake had told me how tiring it was for him to travel from Phoenix to La push as few times a week to help with his pack members.

"Yea sure no problem, I'll probably have dinner made for you and you can heat it up when you get back. I might go hang out with Alice and Rosalie tomarrow after school"

That was that, plans where made and things where fine. I went for a nice relaxing shower to relax myself; after the water had started to run cold I got out and stuck on my old but extremely comfortable pyjamas. I went to my room and blow dried my hair and took my book to my bed and settled down reading and getting lost in the book.

After a while I could feel my eyes getting heavy and my hand was sore from holding the book up to my face, I closed it over and sat it on my night stand and snuggled down into my blankets waiting for sleep to over come me, but it didn't I lay there thinking about what had happened to day, Edwards song was amazing, it held such meaning and emotion and I had the sudden urge to hear it again, forget that I had the sudden urge to see him again, I know we still need to talk everything over but right now I just want to hear his voice or even better have him close to me. I reached over and lifted my phone, I scrolled down till I seen his name and pressed the call button; I knew what I was doing was silly but I seriously just wanted to hear his voice.

"Hello" I could hear the sleep in his voice

"Hey sorry to wake you"

"No Bella I wasn't sleeping, well I was trying to but I couldn't…you where running through my mind and I……"

"I know how you are feeling, I'm the same…I know this sounds lame but I-I….just wanted to hear your voice"

I felt really stupid for admitting that to him, and I could hear him chuckle

"Bella, you took the words out of my mouth, all I have wanted since this morning was to hear your voice, to feel you lips on mine again, just to be able to hold you…."

An idea struck me; we could both get what we wanted and talk like we needed to at the same time.

"Come over"

I all but shouted over the phone at him. I could hear his breathing spike

"Really, but I thought you wanted to talk first?"

"I do, but I want to feel your arms around me when we're talking"

I did, that's all I wanted we could sort anything out as long as we have each other.

"I'm on my way"

I hung up and waited for him to come, but then I remembered Jake, what would he do if he saw Edward come, what would he do if he knew we where alone together in my room. I lifted my phone and sent Edward a text with just one word and I knew he would figure something out.

_JAKE!_

_-B_

There was no reply and I worried that he didn't get my message, the last thing I wanted now was for the two of them to fight or something. I walked over to the mirror and seen what I looked like, I looked terrible with baggy holey clothes on, I ran to my dresser and pulled open the Alice drawer, it was called the Alice drawer because in there was all the sexy way too revealing pyjamas and underwear that she had bought me for when I find the right guy!

Well I had found him…but he ain't gonna be seeing the underwear for a while that was way too soon for me even to be standing here think about it, imagining what it would be like to do that with Edward, to give myself freely to him……WOW STOP!!

After I had on a tank top short short shorts combo on I went to try and do something with my hair, I took it out of the messy bun and ran my brush threw it and let the loose curls fall around my face, I looked into the mirror again and seen that my reflection had changed dramatically I looked….well to put it straight to the point sexy, what if I made Edward want me so bad that he would try his god damn'd hardest to gain my trust…with that in mind I went back to my bed and sat waiting on my Edward to come and hold me.

Just as I had convinced myself that he had changed his mind and decided that he didn't want to come I could hear something at my window, it sounded as if someone was knocking which of course was totally ridiculous because they would have to climb the tree to get there in the first place, so I ignored it and then I heard a voice.. not any voice his voice!

"Bella"

I ran to the window and seen Edward hanging from the tree trying to get his foot placed on the window cill. I looked at him through the window and thought that he was perfect; he had done this just to see me. He had climbed a really old dangerous tree just to see me….I love him I really do…then the thought hit me like a wrecking ball he loved me too, he did actually care for me as much as I cared for him…I think this is what they call having an epiphany.

I eagerly pulled the window open and in he climbed in a black top and jogging bottoms….this is what he wears to bed… He closed the window after him and shivered. He turned to look at me and after he looked me up and down a few times more than necessary he smiled at me

"Hey"

This man loved me, he came to me at 12:30 at night, because I asked him to, he climbed through a window so that he wouldn't start a fight with my best friend and he didn't even give himself the time to change his clothes…the over whelming urge to kiss him took over and that is just what I did, I didn't say hi back I grabbed his top within my two fists and pulled him to me and I kissed him, into this kiss I put everything I could. The happiness that I was now feeling because he was here, the desperate need to kiss him, the love I felt for him, everything.

I broke away for air and he just pulled me into his arms and pulled us to the bed, there I sat in his arms while he held me tight just like I wanted.

I had absentmindedly taken his hand in mine and started to play with his fingers, he used his free hand to run it through my hair and then he spoke.

"Bella you have no idea how scared I was, I thought that I would never have the chance to do this again…Bella I love you I really do and I completely understand that you need time and that I have to prove my myself to you, I understand that you need time to trust me and I tell you I will not stop until you can trust me completely…Bella I love you"

I was crying when he finished because I knew that it was all true, all that he had said was true, but I had also realised that I did trust him, it was me I didn't trust.

"I do trust you, I trust you with my life"

I sat up and looked into his eyes, he looked back at me intently and he understood that I meant it. He began to talk but I placed my finger over his lips wanting him to be quiet until I had finished

"Edward, I love you too more than you could possibly know. What I don't trust is the fact that I would do anything for you, I mean everything I would give my life for you………"

He silenced me with a kiss and I welcomed it and I had a feeling that this would be all the talking that we would need to do. I pulled away from him for air, and rested my fore head against his and sighed in happiness.

Then he began to talk

"Bella do you have any idea how hot you look right now"

And then I remembered what I was wearing and I blushed, I had completely forgotten about my earlier plan before I realised that I didn't need him to gain my trust. I dropped my head worrying that he was thinking that my transformation from quite shy Bella was a little too much, I enjoyed being able to look good in school and make new friends but I didn't want Edward thinking that I had gotten sluty.

I could feel his finger under my chin and he pulled my head up so I was looking into his eyes, and he was smiling, his eyes where full of lust and desire. Was I making him lust for me? Would he want me in such a way? As I thought about our relationship a thought hit me......are we officially in a relationship?

"Edward, what happens now?"

By the look on his face I knew he was thinking the same as me, because as soon as I had asked him his grip on my waist became tighter.

"Well I guess that I have to ask you to be my girl friend...and we take it from there"

He had a cheeky grin on his face and he pulled me up off the bed so we where both standing, he put on hand on the side of my face and the other was cupping the back of my neck, I rested my hands on his waist.

"Isabella Swan, you stole my heart when I first saw you. You made me think that I had lost you, and I couldn't imagine my life with you by my side, I love you more than you can comprehend and I was just wondering that on the of chance that you would feel the same about me as I do you that you may consider becoming my girl friend"

"Well saying you have such a way with words and managed to make the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me, I suppose that it wouldn't be too bad being stuck with you"

I laughed as I had finished and brought my hand from his waist to his lips, I traced them and brought my hand to the back of his neck and pulled him closer, his eyes closed and he titled his head waiting for me to join my lips with his........so I put my lips to his ear and whispered

"Now if you wouldn't mind dear boyfriends of mine you have to go home, I need my beauty sleep"

I stood back and pecked his lips and lay down on my bed, Edward stood there and looked at me in disbelief. He looked so puzzled and I had to laugh at him, but I was not expecting what happened next...he growled...yes Edward Cullen the most sexy beautiful and amazing man in the world just growled at me!

He came to my bad and lay over me, snaking his hands around my waist and tickled me, I begged him to stop it was when he had reduce me to tears that he finally quit. He kept his arms around my waist and just rested his head on my chest, I brought my hands up and played with is hair and it felt so good.

Edward was humming that tune he played to me before everything got complicated, it brought me back to that night when Edward first told me that he loved me outside that restaurant, and that got me to thinking. Would he have said anything if I hadn't have been on a date with James?

"Edward....."

He didn't answer, so I called him again

"Edward...."

It was then that I realised that his breathing was even, he had fallen asleep. I tried to push him off me but I couldn't move his arms, I wanted to lay him on the pillow where he would be comfortable and have a good nights sleep...but it looks like I won't be doing that.

I managed to grab the blanked that had fallen onto the floor when Edward was tickling me and pulled it over the two of us, just as I fell to sleep I knew that Edward and I where meant to be, what ever happens in the future I will always love him.

"**A/N Sooooo here we go another chapter...I really hope it was good enough!**

**The next chapter will be about when Edward and Bella go completely public, how will every one react? Will Jake be as understanding? I hope to have the next chapter up really soon....**

**......so please review and tell me what you thought!**

**Thank you**

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	15. Bella's lullaby

**(A/N Hey hey...sorry it took so long I've been really busy with course work! So I hope you like this....this chapter is the beginning of a new section to the story....so if you like please review!! :)**

**x.x.x)**

Chapter 15

**Bella's lullaby**

EPOV

I woke up to hear a giggling sound, I also noticed that this was not my room, nor was I lying on my pillow I lifted my head from…..Bella's chest.

I sat up and seen the crazy blush on her cheeks and looked towards the door to see where the giggling was coming from and there stood Alice and Rosalie, they where grinning at us like idiots.

Last night when Bella asked me to come over, I couldn't get here quick enough I jumped out of my bed where I was previously trying to sleep, **emphasis** on the trying, I didn't even get out of my night clothes I just ran to my car faster than lightening.

I was just in my car when I got her text reminding me of Jake, I knew that if I turned up and knocked on the front door he would go crazy at me and probably attempt to kill me.

I had accepted the fact that he and Bella where close, they had grew up together and he was there for her when she needed him, he put her back together after I had broken her, when I thought about the pain I have caused her it makes me so angry and determined to gain her trust, to make her believe that she is the one and only girl for me that she can trust me with her heart, her life and most of all her love.

I parked the car down the street out of view from the house, and sprinted to her house. I stood for two seconds wondering if the big oak tree outside her room would be strong enough to support my weight, I realised that the longer I stood out here the less time I had with Bella, I ran to the tree and began climbing….after I had nearly fallen off and Bella finally opened the window I was with happily with my Bella.

Whilst I was reliving last night in my thoughts, Alice and Rosalie and stolen Bella and pulled her to the bottom of her bed and sat her in front of the mirror, Alice went to her ward robe and started picking through clothes, pulling out short skirts and low tops…I hated to sound controlling and possessive but Bella is not going to school wearing those.

I stood up and Alice looked over……obviously she had forgotten my presence

"Edward, why are you still here? Go home get changed and come pick Bella up for school"

She had decided on an outfit for Bella, it was a pair of black skinny jeans and a nice blue blouse, it was nice…and I loved blue on Bella.

I looked towards Bella's door and then the window not sure which to use, I didn't want to risk a confrontation with Jake, I looked at Bella and she was laughing at me.

"He left earlier Edward, you can use the door"

I left in a rush, the quicker I get home the quicker I get back to Bella.

BPOV

As soon as Edward left Alice and Rosalie stopped dead in their tracks, they pulled me over to my bed and I knew what they where after.

"Spill…all"

And I told them everything, how I wanted him here with me and called him asking him to come over. I told them about me planning to make Edward eager to want me so he would prove himself to me, to prove to me that I can trust him, that plan Alice was very proud off, and she never knew that she had her own drawer and was determined to claim my wardrobe as well…the clothes that I had bought which were to annoy Edward….had been mysteriously lost.

I had hidden them under Charlie's bed, because I knew Alice would have me wearing them every day. I kept a few in my ward robe for the odd party they would drag me too, just some skirts and tops.

I told them about Edward coming through the window to avoid Jake, and how we talked and I realised that I did trust him, that my problem was that I loved him too much.

They where squealing when I finished.

"Bella, I am so happy for you two!

Alice gave me a big hug and I saw a few tears leave her eyes, Rosalie gave me a hug after

"I still can't believe how you have changed him. I mean in such a short period of time, his reputation is long gone, he sang for you, he wrote a piano composition for you and had declared his undying love for you in front of us on may occasions, all which we thought where just an act…..all this time like you we thought he was playing you…"

She looked at Alice as she realised the truth in her own words

"Alice we treated him horribly"

Alice looked just as sad and as sorry as Rosalie, I hated seeing them like this. What if there was something we could do to let them show Edward how sorry they are, and to show him how thankful I am that he gave everything up for me.

Alice had went through my clothes when Edward was here and had decided on my favourite skinny jeans and a blue top, which I quite liked mainly because Alice told me that Edward loves blue on me.

I managed to use my 'but-I-really-don't-want-to-fall-on-my-ass-today-and-make-a-fool-of-myself speech' to get out of wearing a pair of heels that I could break my neck by just looking at them, I got to wear my beloved black converse, and I was happy.

I had some how gotten used to Alice playing Bella Barbie on me, I didn't mind my hair being done by Rosalie she always made it look good, Alice had settled on giving me natural make up and I felt as if I belonged with Edward, I felt good enough to be able to say 'yes I deserve him, I am good enough for him and he is mine'.

Alice and Rosalie left to go home and get themselves ready for school, Alice drove off in her Porsche, and Rosalie sped off in her BMW.

EPOV

When I got home Emmett was waiting on me, he knew when I walked through the door that things where good, he seen the smile on my face and he returned it. I knew he was worried that I had upset Bella again and I also knew that he would continue to worry and he would continue to look out for her when I am involved, and I am thankful for that because I know that he will always stop me from hurting her…..even thought I have no intentions of ever hurting her again.

I walked up to him to thank him for being there for Bella, for loving her the way he does.

"Emmett, Thank you for being there for her, thank you for….."

He came over and hugged me, he held me tight and said

"I know Edward, I understand that you love her I know what it feels like to love someone unconditionally…..but Edward you have to understand she is my Bella Boo, my baby sister"

Emmett looks all tough and macho but he is just a real big teddy bear, he always seen the good side to everything.

I left him there and went to change my clothes to get back to Bella, I walked into my room and seen my mother by my piano, looking at a sheet of music as I got closer I seen what it was, it was Bella's lullaby and I had written that title on the top of the page.

My mother turned around when she heard my footsteps, she had tears in her eyes and a smile on her face

"Edward, you wrote this for her?"

I smiled, my mother thought that I would never write again. I had written a few pieces and played them for her, that was before I had gotten addicted to improving my reputation. I never let anyone outside of my family know that I played piano, it was something that the most popular guy in school just didn't do, I was far too cool for that….but not anymore, no I don't care anymore. I have the one thing that matters to me and as long as Bella is by my side I don't need to be noticed by the kids in forks high.

My mother handed my the sheet of music

"Please Edward play for me, it has been too long"

I took Bella's lullaby and realised that the only other person that has heard it was Bella, I started playing the dark and sad music, which was how my life was before Bella, how I would hurt and treat others to make myself feel good. Then as the music became lighter and happier I seen the smile on my mothers face, this is when Bella had moved here and had became best friends with Alice and Rosalie and was spending as lot of time here unknowingly making me realise how much of a prick I was.

I still hadn't it finished that night I played it for Bella, I made it up as I went along, the ending was filled with the happiness and love I felt when Bella told me that she loved me too, that night when Bella fell asleep on my bed I added in the ending which I had just played for her.

I finished and looked at my mother who was smiling at me with tears in her eyes, I blushed because I was showing my mother my feelings, I was giving her a glimpse into my heart and showing her how much I care for Bella.

My mother opened her arms for me and hugged me, and I welcomed the love that she was showing me. I had no idea how distant from this family I have become, but that will all change, I will change and Bella is to thank for it.

BPOV

I was waiting anxiously, I was nervous about how people will react when they see us walk in together. Will Edward want to walk into school with me, does he want everyone to know or will he want us to keep it low profile in case there is a chance he can save his reputation.......No...I know he loves me and wants to be with me.

Then I could see the silver Volvo pull up and Edward hop out and come to the door, I had it opened before he even got up the steps. When I seen him I couldn't help the smile that spread across my face and I mentally cursed myself for letting him have such a big effect on me, what would I do if things didn't work out between us? How would I cope? Would I cope at all?

I was brought back to reality when Edward wrapped his arms around me and hugged me tight, he whispered in my ear

"You look absolutely gorgeous....I'll have to be at your side all day fighting all those guys off you"

I had no objection with him being by my side all day, in fact it would be heaven. I smiled at him and gave him a little peck on the cheek and took his hand. We walked slowly to his car, and he opened the passenger door for me, all the while we still held eye contact until he closed the door and our eyes where blocked, but in mere seconds he was sitting in his side of the car. He took my hand in his and drove towards the school.

I think he sensed my nerves because he stared to rub soothing circles on the back of my hand. I looked over at him and he looked so care free and happy, I wondered what was going through his head at this exact second.

EPOV

I am the happiest man alive, I have the most wonderful woman alive by my side, within my grasp. I could feel her hand tense up as we got closer to the school, and I knew she was totally freaking out over walking into the school with me. I wanted to tell her that it would be fine and everything would be ok but truth be told I have no idea how any body will react.

I pulled into my normal parking spot between Alice and Rosalie. I got out and went to open Bella's door when I seen her laughing hysterically, her hands where shaking and she was bouncing in her seat.

I opened her door and helped her out, she was still laughing hard and I could see she was finding it hard to breath. I seen Alice come in our direction followed closely by Rosalie and Emmett and Jasper.

I had to steady Bella up against the car for support. Alice came to Bella's side and placed her hands on her shoulders and looked her in the eyes.

"Bella...Bella, it's ok calm down......breath....everything is alright"

I was totally confused what the hell is going on? I looked towards Rosalie for answers.

"This is her version of a panic attack"

Well that made it all make sense, she was worried about coming to school with me, had she changed her mind, it was when I felt her grab my hand and pull me over that I realised she wasn't laughing anymore, instead she was panting and trying to control her breathing. Alice moved out of my way and I pulled Bella into my chest and wrapped my arms around her rubbing soothing circles on the small of her back, slowly she started to calm down and relax into my arms.

When Bella had calmed down we made our way to the school, Bella's first class was English, we had no classes together till after lunch till we where in Biology. It was actually hard saying bye to her, all I wanted was to stay with her all day in case she has another panic attack but I knew that the separation would only be temporary.

I went to math with Bella on my mind, and I knew that the only sum I was capable of doing is.... Me + Bella = Soul mates.

BPOV

I love English...but yet again I also love Edward.

This was normally the one class in which I never had any trouble concentrating on, but today was different, I could still feel my heart racing from my panic attack this morning, I knew it was the nerves that brought it on.

Luckily my teacher didn't say anything to me about my lack of concentration because he knew that I was always good and paid attention in his classes. I spent the whole time thinking of Edward, and I couldn't wait till lunch time when I could be with him again.

I froze outside the cafeteria, Edward by my side and the others behind us, Alice and Rose knew why I was so worried, they knew that I was worrying about the fact that Edward might not want to give up his reputation for me, that when people start talking about us he will change his mind and leave me.I tried to keep telling myself that he did love me it is just so hard for me to actually believe, that he could love me plain Bella Swan, but one look into his eyes gave me the courage to walk on in.

The whole cafeteria turned around to stare at us, each one with their mouths hanging open. The super sluts where glaring at me, the weird-stalker-Mike-Newton guys where glaring at Edward, but the really nice people that we could actually call our friends where smiling at us, there was not many of these nice people, they where Angela Webber and her boyfriend Ben and Colin and his girlfriend Sarah and her sister Susan.

Edward and I held hands tightly and walked to the empty table in the back of the cafeteria, As soon as my ass was on the seat I all but hid behind Edward, Alice, Jasper, Emmett and Rosalie came and filled up the table. I was so glad to have my best friends around me. What I couldn't forget was the gossiping that was going on around us, the staring and the whispering.....it was getting annoying, it's not like they have never seen a couple before.

In the past two weeks the whispering and staring has stopped, everyone well nearly everyone had accepted that Edward and I are together. Jessica Stanley and Lauren Mallory are still trying to convince people that I am just Edwards new shiny toy and that he will soon tire of me.

That table we sat at has now become the Cullen table, even thought there are two Hale's and A Swan sitting there. Edward and I have become inseparable, always together when possible.

There was a new addition to our circle, it was a colleuges of Carlisle's, a Doctor Victoria Cartright, she has been a doctor for a few years but has just moved up here 6 months ago and hasn't yet found permanent living arrangements. Carlisle seems to have befriended her really quickly and is doing all he can to help her. Just behind the Cullen's house there is a woods, Esme has told us that there is an old cottage there and she is going to renovate the house for Victoria. We have been helping as much as we can.

It should be ready in a few weeks but until then she is living with them. At first I was jealous beyond reason, she is inhumanly beautiful, flaming locks of red hair, beautiful pale complexion and is graceful. Edward laughed at my jealous ways and tried to convince me that her beauty was nothing compare to mine, which of course I blushed madly when he told me that, after I got over the jealously I had become great friends with her, she was special like no other person I have ever met but the is something different about her.

My parents have came home and Jake went back to Phoenix to help Billy pack up their stuff for the big move back to La Push, I am so happy to finally have them move up here, when they get here my family will be complete.

Esme has told me on many occasions that she already thinks of me as a part of the family so has Carlisle, so my family will be totally complete when the Black's move up.

My life cannot get any better, It's perfect and I am thankful for everything that I have. My life is too perfect, normally when people feel that they are complete something always happens to destroy that, and I hope and pray that nothing will destroy what I have here.

**(A/N Sooooo there we go another chapter....as you may be able to guess the story will have a few twists coming up soon...and I regret to inform you they are not all good and happy....but hey we need drama for a story right??**

**If you have any ideas...or can guess what will happen please leave a review!!**

**x.x.x)**


	16. Leave the Doctor at work!

**(A/N Hey hey….once again I apologise for the amount of time it took me to get this out, but truth be told I have a lot of work to do for school, when I say a lot I mean a lot, my form teacher gave me my predicted grades yesterday…and I have a lot of more work to do…so updates are going to be kinda spaced out…but I promise to put more of an effort in……Sooooo on with the chapter….I hope you enjoy!**

**x.x.x)**

Chapter 16

**Leave the Doctor at work!!**

BPOV

It was a Friday night, it was Bella Barbie night and man did I know it, Alice has gotten out of control when it comes to my outfits, as Edward and I become closer the outfits get skimpier and show more than I am comfortable with.

This past week has been the best week of my life to date, Edward and I are still in the 'I-can't-get-enough-of-you-phase' and it is driving the others crazy, in school if we're not in the same class we are together before the day starts, at lunch, when the day is over and I either go to the Cullen's or Edward comes to mine after school.

My mom and dad are a little concerned that we may be moving a little too fast, little do they know what happened three weeks ago and why I was depressed when I went to Phoenix to visit them.

Anyway back to this ridiculous outfit Alice has me wearing tonight, it's a short black strapless dress, that just about covered my chest and just went a little bit below my ass, the dress was that tight or 'figure hugging' as Alice had put it that I seriously think that I will have to spend the whole night standing.

We where going to some house party for someone's birthday I had no idea who it was but then I didn't care because I would be spending the whole night with Edward. That alone made everything ok as long as Edward is involved I'm happy.

I just made it down the stairs without falling and was really happy about that, finally I seem to be getting the hang of wearing death traps aka heeled shoes, at first the others used to laugh at me for not being able to walk in them but I am finally getting there. I didn't want to see the look on Esme's face when she seen me dressed like this so I avoided the sitting room, Alice and Rose went on ahead in to their men, me on the other hand went to the kitchen to get another pain killer, I have been getting headache's all week, some of them where pretty bad, those where the days I would stay at home in bed and Edward would skive school to come and be with me.

As I went to the cupboard that I knew the head ache tablets where kept I bumped into Victoria, and nearly lost my balance in these shoes…I said nearly…I managed to regain my so called balance and stand up again.

"O sorry Bella"

"No worries … Vikki, just getting some painkillers"

She looked at me and a frown came on her face

"Again Bella, you only took some when you came home from school"

It was now Dr. Cartwright I was talking too, she couldn't help but let her doctor side out, she was very alike Carlisle in that sense he too found it hard to forget the doctor at the hospital.

"Yea, they are getting worse, and more frequent"

"When did they start?"

"Monday"

"You've had them all week and didn't tell me, I am a doctor I can help"

"Yea I know…but there just head aches', I'll survive"

She raised her eyebrow at me and crossed her arms

"I am bringing you to the hospital with me tomorrow and I'll give you a check up"

I knew there was no point in arguing with her so I nodded my head in agreement.

Carlisle, Esme and Victoria where going out for a meal, I got my pain killers and I heard the front door bang shut, that must have been them just leaving so it was safe for me to go into the sitting room.

I rinsed out my water glass and made my way in, Alice and Jasper where having a private conversation, Emmett and Rosalie where having a not so private make out session and Edward just sat there looking extremely uncomfortable.

I went over to him, and sat beside him, his head shot up and as soon as our eyes met he smiled.

"I would climb onto your knee right now, but erm…this dress has restrictions"

He looked down to see what I was talking about, as his eyes travelled down my body his eyes got wider and his mouth began to open, by the time he was looking into my eyes again he was full scale stunned.

I couldn't help the little giggle that escaped my lips he just looked so funny, he had a little fish mouth thing going on his mouth making little 'O's'. Then he shook his head little and spoke

"You look Sooooo amazing"

I blushed as per usual

"Thanks, you scrub up well your self"

He smiled and took my hand in his, I held on tight and then I heard Alice shout.

"Lets gooooo party time"

We all got up, we went in Emmett's jeep at least there was more room for us to squeeze in, Emmett drove with Rose up front with him, Alice sat on Jasper's knee and I on Edwards crammed into the back.

We pulled up to a small house that was full of drunken teens, we made our way up and Mike Newton stumbled out the door with Jessica Stanley right behind him. When mike seen me he tried giving me a 'sexy smile' that made me want to throw up, and then said

"You look hot-t tonight Bella" Slurring his words

It made my skin crawl, you see Edward had away with words instead of saying hot he had said amazing, it's the small things like that, that makes him so lovable.

EPOV

Bella looked so amazingly beautiful, she look irresistible in that little black dress. When mike tried to hit on her that annoyed me, seriously when will that child get it into his head…she is mine!

I took her into my arms and kissed her, I held her tight to me to let her know what I was doing and she caught on, she gripped her arms around my neck and pulled her self onto her tip toes, after a long few minutes of heavenly kissing my Angel we pulled back to see Mike Newton…….in tears and Jessica Stanley angry.

I took Bella's hand and took her inside to find the others. That has got to make it clear to him. We quickly found the others and I went to get Bella and I drink, I got two bottles of beer and brought them back, I gave one to Bella and she had to think about taking it from me, what ever little inside battle she was having it ended and she took the bottle from me.

BPOV

I know you're not meant to drink when on pain killers but it's only one bottle, and it won't do me any harm…..

….wrong….it is never just one bottle, soon enough we where completely out of beer and the party wasn't over, every one I could see around me and including me was totally wasted, Edward had decided that it would be funny to hide Alice's brand new and very expensive shoe's in the freezer. Emmett had somehow taken the shower curtain from one of the bath rooms and had it tied around his neck, stood in the middle of the room and shouted

"Guess what I am?"

Rosalie and Alice where changing the music and I was dancing like a lunatic to the crazy crap music that was on, you see I have a wide music selection I like a lot of different types of music but there is only a certain amount of dance music you can take and right now what this party needs is something with a little kick….Alice also had this feeling as she put on some Paramore, now I love this band…..we all danced and sang along to Ignorance.

Edward came stumbling back to me, we stood there in the middle of the dance floor jumping and dancing like maniacs. Alice was on the coffee table and Rose had managed to steady her self on the sofa, Emmett and Jasper was seeing who could drink the most vodka shots.

Eventually it was home time, and none of us where in a fit state to drive, I took my phone out of my bag and called Victoria who would take us home but she also wouldn't give us the 'your-too-young-to-drink speech.

XXX

EPOV

"For all that is Holy stop screaming"

I have no idea how we got home, or who brought us home. And the only reason that I know I am at home is because my mother is standing at the side of my bed screaming at me to get up.

"Edward, I'm not screaming, I barley talking, come on Bella has to go to the hospital in half an hour…."

That got my attention, ignoring the pain in my head I shot up in my bed nearly head banging my mother, I looked over to see Bella sleeping beside me, and she looked fine.

"Why?"

Was all I got out, my throat felt like sand paper?

"She has a check up with Victoria about her head aches'"

Bella had been having these head aches' all week, but she never told me about having a check up. I lay back down and rolled around to face Bella, before leaving my room my mother told me breakfast would be ready in a few minutes.

I put my hand on her cheek, she felt hot, as in burning up hot, I shook her gently until she woke up and she just grumbled at me, and threw her fist in my direction. I done it again and I managed to get a

"Fuck off Edward"

From here, I touched my lips to her's and kissed her softly and as I pulled away her eyes opened

"Now that is more like it"

She giggled and I pulled her into my arms.

"You didn't tell me about your check up with Vikki?"

"O yea…it's nothing, just to shut her up mainly."

**(A/N Sooooo there you go another chapter, I hoped you liked it…there is a little drama coming up shortly and it's not all good!**

**Please review and tell me what you think….reviews will help motivate me and there fore I will study quicker meaning I will get more chapters up …**

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	17. You look better drunk!

**(A/N Hey hey...so I got another chapter up ...yea! I hope you like it and please review if you do...I need the motivation. **

**Disclaimer- I still unfortunately don't own Twilight.**

**x.x.x)**

Chapter 17

**You looked better drunk!**

BPOV

"Come on babe, you gotta go...Vikki's waiting"

Edward had managed to persuade to get me out of bed, mainly because he bribed me with Esme's heavenly cooking, my hangover was terrible, I felt so sick my stomach was like a washing machine and my head felt as if there was a 30 piece orchestra banging about.

After breakfast Edward sent Alice up stairs to get me some clothes. There is no way I am going to a hospital in this state, hospitals make me sick at the best of times and with the state that my stomach is in now I'll end up puking rings around me.

"Edward I can't, I 'm too sick"

He looked at me and gave me that crooked smile

"Even more of a reason to go the hospital and see Vikki"

He knew he had me there; I gave up as I could hear Alice coming down the stairs. She walked in with what I was glad to see was a jean and hoodie combo, she knew me so well. When I'm sick I wear loose baggy and very unfashionable clothes.

She handed them to me and put her hand on my fore head, pulling her hand back a little too fast, I knew I had a temperature but I couldn't have felt that hot.

"God Bella your freezing"

"Alice I am roasting"

I was I was in a tank top and shorts and I feel as if I am going to overheat how the hell can I be freezing?

Edward took me by the hand, grabbing my hoodie and pulled me by the arm

"You ....car.....now!"

And with that I was sitting in Edwards Volvo in my pyjamas, with no shoes and totally confused.

Edward got in and drove off without a word

"Over reacting much Edward?"

I asked him but the look on his face wiped the smile off mine.

"Bella your sick"

"No Edward I have a hangover! I may have caught a cold"

He turned to me and raised his eye brow at me, I knew this was a lost cause, but he still could have given me the chance to get dressed. I looked out the window and watched everything pass by, thinking yet again about my life right now, everything seems perfect and I am thankful for absolutely everything. My head was still pounding but I have kinda got used to headaches this past week what with all my head aches. I think that I actually am coming down with a cold my chest feels a little sore and I am feeling all over weak, but maybe just maybe I had a little too much to drink last night.

EPOV

She was shivering and I don't even think she realises it, ok now I am worried. What if her headache's where some things else, something that I should have picked up on. All those days of getting out of school to go home to her.

My life is just really starting now that I am with Bella; please don't let anything take that away from me. I sped up as we got closer to the hospital. I had started to regret taking Bella out of the house without her clothes, but I just want Vikki to see her so badly, just to tell me that everything is fine and that Bella is majorly hanging over and has a simple cold.

I helped her put on her hoodie, and looked in the back of the car to see if she had any clothes left in there, and luck have it her converse were sitting on the back seat. I gave them to her and watched her closely as she put them on.

5 minutes later and we were finally sitting outside Vikki's office, waiting for her to call us in.

"Bella Swan?"

He popped her head out the door with a big smile on her face.

BPOV

Vikki reached her head out the door and started to smile, probably taking in the awful looking mess in front of her, my self esteem and pride where being severely hit right now, I must look like crap, I am in a blue tank top and short pyjama combo, with a pink hoodie and black converse, my hair is like a hay stack and I am pretty sure I look like death warmed up.

When she got Edward and me in her office she nearly killed herself laughing.

"God Bella, what the hell did you drink last night? Heck you look better when you are drunk"

She sat behind her desk still giggling, I looked over to glare and Edward as this was all his fault, only to see him sniggering.

"Well if Edward had have let me get dressed and brush my hair I would look a little better"

That shut him up and he sat up straight. He took my hand and gave it a little squeeze his way of asking forgiveness, I waited a few seconds and he squeezed again causing a smile to spread my face I squeezed back to let him know that he was forgiven.

"So Bella you want Ed-o to stay?"

Victoria had given Edward that most strange name, but we had all taken to calling him it sometimes, and might I add Edward can't stand it......all the more reason we call him it.

"Yea sure.....I want my Eddie by my side"

Pay back is a bitch...and I knew I achieved it as I seen the death glare Edward was giving Vikki, as she has started this off.

"Ok so down to business, Bella you say you've had these head aches' since Monday?"

"Yea"

"Well I'm going to take some blood and sent it off, what's your diet like?"

"Victoria you know what my diet is like! It's pretty well balanced, I look after myself you know that?"

"Yea I know just habit sorry, ok I think that it may just be something simple like anaemia, but the blood tests will make sure there is nothing else"

See like I said I will survive, that's easily sorted, just some tablets and I'll be right as rain. I glanced at Edward as if to say 'told ya so'; he just turned away and concentrated on Vikki.

"So I'm just gonna weigh you, get you height and that should do, it will be about a week or so for the blood results to come back"

With that she got on with her tests, and I just dazed out thinking about getting out of here as quickly as possible, Edward owed me big time.

We were just turning into the Cullen's drive way when Edward broke the silence

"You know I'd die without you, I mean if anything were to happen?"

"Where the hell did that come from? Are you planning on bumping me off or something? Edward I'm fine just anaemic"

He really did confuse me sometimes; he tends to over think things.

"No Bella I mean it, you are everything to me. You saved me from myself I owe you everything"

He nearly made me cry, he stopped outside the house and turned to face me

"I love you Bella"

I could find my voice so I grabbed his shirt and pulled him in for a kiss, I put everything I wanted to say into that kiss.

**(A/N Okay...sorry it's so short but it's better than none at all right? **

**So as you have all guessed there is something wrong with Bella.....and it will cause drama...but if I get a good response I will most likely have a happy ending....somehow......! **

**Thank you to all who have reviewed so far they me Soooooooooo**

**....... much to me....thanks a million.**

**x.x.x)**


	18. The results

**(A/N Sorry it took me so long, but here you go I hope you like.....**

**Disclaimer- I still unfortunately don't own Twilight.**

**x.x.x)**

Chapter 18

**The results**

EPOV

The ride home was quiet I couldn't help but shake the feeling that something was wrong with her, life was just too good at the moment and it feels as if something is going to happen and wreck it all. Just as we were driving up to the house I broke the silence

"You know I'd die without you, I mean it if anything were to happen?"

It was true, she had saved me and made me a better man and I owe it all to her, if it weren't for her I would still be a womanizing man-whore, that doesn't care about hurting girls feelings. As I was being serious Bella wasn't, she was sitting smiling back at me.

"Where the hell did that come from? Are you planning on bumping me off or something? Edward I'm fine just anaemic"

I tried to smile at her but I couldn't I just wanted...no needed her to know how much she means to me.

"No Bella I mean it, you are everything to me. You saved me from myself I owe you everything"

She stopped smiling and just looked at me, her eyes began to water and I knew she had heard the love and need in my voice

"I love you Bella"

She grabbed my shirt and pulled me in for a kiss, it was by far one of thee best kisses of my life. We broke apart and we were both breathless, I took her hand in mine and smiled.

"Right Cullen when you're finished reducing me to tears lets go inside"

We went into the living room where Alice and Jasper were snuggled up watching a movie.

"Hey Bella so what's wrong with ya?"

BPOV

"I'm dieing..........."

Alice looked at me as if she could kill me, I just told her I was dying and she wants to kill me...O wait I was grinning.

"Bella that is not funny don't even joke about something like that"

Just like Edward she was really serious about this

"It's ok I'm just anaemic"

Edward cut in

"Vikki thinks she's anaemic, she done some tests and they will be back next week"

Finally we made it to Edwards's room, he sat me on the bed laid me back, fixed up the pillows and pulled the blankets over me.

"Ok, Edward I'm fine, there is just some wrong with my blood….I'm not going to die"

He looked at me a for a few minutes, it took a few minutes to sink in but I think he now see's how silly he is being,

"And even if I was dying…I'd hate all this fussing over me crap"

I would rather die quickly and painless than slow and agonising, plus I would be too much bother on those looking after me. I changed my train of thought when I seen Edward sit beside me, I didn't want him asking what I was thinking about.

I took his hand, and smiled

"So what do you want to do today?"

"Spend every second with you!"

Is what he answered me with. I hated it when he done that to me, dazzling me like that, the crooked smile all over his face, reminding me why I fell I love with him in the first place. I could feel my head ache but didn't say anything to him because I knew he would worry too much, I lay back on the bed and closed my eyes.

I felt Edward lie down beside me and I smiled to my self

"I can't believe how good my life is...I have you and your family, and the Blacks are back I mean every thing is just perfect."

I turned my head to the side and opened my eyes and was met by Edwards, he put his hand on my cheek and smiled.

"Promise me that no matter what happens in life we will always be together"

"I promise, that sounds like heaven"

He pulled me into his arms and held me tight, I closed my eyes a welcomed sleep to over come me as my head ache was getting pretty bad and I felt the need to get sick.

It had started to get dark outside when I woke up, and Edwards arms where still wrapped tightly around me, I managed to turn around and look at the clock on his bed side table, it read 7:30pm, I shot up in the bed and turned and hit Edward.

"Edward get up...we slept all day!"

He grumbled at me

"Shhhhh Bella, go back to sleep!"

I hit him again,

"Edward...get up"

He opened his eyes a little and looked at me,

"What's wrong babe?"

"Its half 7, time to get up hot stuff...that's enough beauty sleep!"

He sat up beside me, and sighed

"I was having the best dream ever and you woke me up..."

He wined, he was pouting and it as Sooooo cute, I smiled at him and scooted closer to him and rested my head on his shoulder and asked him what it was about.

"It was us...on our wedding day, God you were so beautiful you looked like an angel. Every one was their our family and friends, it seemed so perfect and we were just getting to the vows when you woke me up"

He looked down at me; I had closed my eyes trying to imagine our wedding. It's something that had never crossed my mind I never thought about my future with Edward, I mainly focused on the present.

I could feel his lips on my forehead, and they felt so hot I realised that my whole body felt cold, my arms and legs were sore and my head ache was pounding again.

"Edward, I think I'm getting a cold!"

I huffed, I hate having the cold not being able to go out and have fun without tissues tripping you or coughing like crazy.

"Awwwh poor Bella"

He said sarcastically...he had no sympathy for me, earlier he thought I was on deaths door and now when I am sick he doesn't care...huh I think I liked it more when he was worried about me.

"What no getting over protective and rushing me off to the hospital?"

"Hahaha Bella very funny, it was not knowing what was wrong with you that worried me, it was the fact that Vikki wanted to see you in the hospital and not in her house were she could have checked you over that freaked me out, I thought that she thought there was something really wrong with you!"

I didn't push it any further, it wasn't long until I started sneezing and complaining even more, I felt sorry for Edward. When I am sick I complain about everything, I made him go buy me loads of ice cream when I was too hot, and to refill the hot water bottles when I was cold.

I rang my parents and told them that I wouldn't home, not that they were expecting to see me anyway as I always stayed here at the weekends. They weren't too happy about me staying with Edward when we got together, so I told them I would continue sleeping in Alice's room just like before.

That night was the worst night's sleep I ever had I tossed and turned the whole night, Edward stayed with me to make sure I had every thing I needed. At one stage in the night I was freezing my hot water bottle had went cold and the blankets weren't keeping me warm, I snuggled even closer to Edwards warm body, when he felt my skin he shivered but pulled me closer and soon enough I was nice and toasty.

It took me right until Wednesday to get over my cold. Edward had stayed in my house since Sunday putting up with me and keeping me warm or cooling me down he had to sneak in through the window each night and then get up early and sneak out again. God how I loved this man.

He was wrecked from the lack off sleep as I got a pretty bad cough and it was getting worse.

On Thursday my cold was gone completely and I was left with a bad cough and a bit of a chest infection but Carlisle had given me some medication to solve that problem. The whole way through biology Edward yawned and struggled to keep his eyes open. The teacher was making us watch some boring video, I put my hand on the back of his head and pushed it gently down to rest on the table, I then started to run my hands through his hair, just they way he liked it. This was the best method to put Edward to sleep. It wasn't long until his breathing evened out and he was sleeping, I removed my hand from his head and paid attention to the video.

The video ended and the bell rang signalling the end of the day, Edward slept right though it. I gathered his stuff off his desk and packed his back when we were the last in the room I went to stand beside him, and I shook him whispering in his ear

"Edward, come on babe time to go home!"

He lifted his head, and looked over at me.

"Did I sleep through the whole class?"

"Yea...come on I'm driving"

"No Bella I'm fine, I can drive"

"Edward your dead on your feet, let me drive you need rest"

When we got back to Edwards house the others were already there, Vikki was sitting on the sofa looking at me anxiously when I walked in. I dragged Edward by the hand straight to his room and ordered him to sleep.

"Bella stay with me please"

"I have to go talk with Vikki for a while, and then I'll come up to you ok?"

He was near sleep and his answer was mumbled

"Ok"

I went back down stairs and went over to Vikki.

"What's wrong you look worried?"

"Bella, I want to talk with you for a few minutes"

I nodded and got up with her, she asked Carlisle if we could use his office and we went up, it was only as she sat down in Carlisle's chair that I realised the brown envelope in her hands. She handed it towards me, I seen the look of pity in her eyes and didn't want to open it, I didn't want to know what was making her look at me like it, it was bad it was really bad.

I took the seal in my shaky hands and ripped it open and inside was one sheet of white paper I pulled it out and read what it said.

I had to read it twice just to take in what it said, when it sunk in I felt a switch in my head flick to off and felt my body shut down.

**(A/N Sooooo How was it? Hope it was good.....a few may not like me when they find out what is wrong...but it has to be done!**

**Please review... :) x.x.x)**


	19. Life or Death

**(A/N Hey hey….so here we go another chapter and more drama…I hope you like it **

**Yea I still don't own Twilight…looks like I am going to have to deal with it **

**x.x.x)**

**Chapter 19**

**Life or death**

**BPOV**

I couldn't believe it, how could this happen to me. You can't just fucking wake up one day with cancer. There has to be a mistake.

"Vikki...I can't ...have...Leukaemia...I can't...I"

She got out of her seat and came beside me, kneeling looking into my eyes. She wrapped her ice cold hands around mine and looked me in the eye.

"Bella, I know how hard this is for you to believe but you need to understand what exactly it is your dealing with here ok. You have acute myelogenous leukaemia, this is when your body doesn't produce enough healthy blood cells, this is what made me think that you were anaemic that was the symptoms I saw. This is why you've been getting headaches, that bad cold that came out of know where and the bad chest infection you have now, this is all showing how weak you're body is becoming already, Bella it is very progressed"

I listened to her hoping she could tell me how to make me better, I could feel tears build up why me? What had I done to deserve this?

"How can you make me better?"

"Bella the type you have is acute which means that it will get worse faster. I want to start your treatments as soon as possible."

I got up from the chair I was sitting in, I needed space and I have to get out of here.

"I need to think"

"Bella don't leave it too long. Come see me in the morning I'm on the morning shift"

I walked out of Carlisle's office; I think I was in shock. I went to Edward's room, he was fast asleep and he looked so peaceful if I were to die, I would miss being able to watch him sleep, at the minute heaven doesn't feel as real as it did 10 minutes ago, if I have done something to deserve cancer then I'm most likely not going to heaven anyway I would be there without Edward and that is no heaven.

I had cancer, I was sick and I could die, it was progressed and by the sound of the worry in Vikki's voice this was something to worry about.

How could I tell Edward this, heck how could I tell anyone, they would make themselves ill trying to help me. I knew they would, and it made me even more worried how do I do this? How do I cope on my own?

I sat there for an hour just looking at Edward sleeping and thinking about how I was going to deal with this, I can't tell Edward, it would kill him, and he would fuss over me his grades would suffer, I can't tell Carlisle because he also is too close to me and it would kill him not being allowed to tell Edward.

I'm 18 now and I don't need to tell my parents, I will do this on my own, with the help of Vikki, no-one else needs to know because no-one else can help me, there is nothing they can do that will take this disease away from me.

I seen that it was getting late and I didn't want to wake Edward up to leave me home, I kissed him on his fore head, and fixed the blankets over him. I took one last glance at him before I left the room and closed the door. I went down the stairs and seen that Jasper was standing at the front door with Alice about to go home. Emmett had gone home to Rosalie's after school so he couldn't leave me home, I walked up to them.

"Jazz could you drop me off home, Edward needs some sleep!"

"Yea sure Bells, you look if you could do with the sleep your self, you ok?"

I froze, did I look ill, can you tell by looking at someone they had cancer? No Bella don't be stupid…they can't tell!

"Yea I probably look like crap because I am still getting over my cold"

I nervously chuckled when I finished, I just hoped that they believed me. Jasper nodded and bought it, I looked over at Alice and she had a small smile too, phew…..

Jasper was one of those people who did not feel the need to break the silence between people, he knew when to talk and when to not. We drove in silence listening to the radio; I tried not to think about the cancer in case he noticed how strange I was acting. When we arrived at my house I thanked him and got out.

I watched as he drove away, I took a deep breath and went into the house; I didn't want to talk with my parents tonight so I shouted at them that I was home. I went up stairs and laid on my bed, letting my mind wonder to my problem. I had cancer, a bad cancer, there was a chance that I was going to die, and I would have to leave everything and every one behind.

And I didn't have the strength to fight this, I wasn't a strong person look what happened when I fell out with Edward, I fell apart and my best friend was there to help me, but he's not anymore.

Jake and I have drifted apart since they moved up here, I tried to convince myself that it was because he has a new responsibility now what with the pack and all, but deep down I know it is because of Edward, they just hate each other, Jake hates Edward because he hurt me and Edward hates Jake because he thinks he's in love with me.

How was I going to lie to them, tell them that I was fine when in fact I am dying, what if the treatment doesn't work? How do I prepare myself to die?

Why does life have to be so fucked up?

I knew that my life was too good to last; I knew that with me being so lucky and happy that something would come along and destroy it all. I started crying, I felt as if I had given up already, I just couldn't think positively, I couldn't think about having a life after this.

Sometime in the night I fell asleep, my alarm woke me up and I was in a zombie mode, I got up and showered and dressed without even being aware of doing it. When I finally woke up I was sitting in my truck leaving for school, how can I pretend as if everything is ok?

I didn't eat breakfast, for fear that it wouldn't stay down, so when I arrived to school my stomach was growling, but I ignored it. I decided that I would drive myself this morning. I looked around to see that the parking lot was next to empty and realised that I had yet to text Edward to tell him that I was driving myself this morning.

_Hey, I drove myself this morning, have to get my baby out on the road…meet you at school._

_Love B xxx_

A few seconds later he replied

_What? It still runs? _

_See you soon, missed you when you weren't there when I woke up _

_E xxx_

I sat in my truck thinking again about what I was going to do, Vikki wanted me to come see her today, but I didn't want to, what if she told me there was nothing she could do? What if she said that I left it too late to come to her with the head aches? Was this all my fault? There was no family history of cancer in my family, was I to blame for all this?

Just then there was a knock on my window, I jumped a little at the surprise and seen that it was Edward, he was smiling at me and I forced a smile back, he cannot find out about this… it would kill him.

I opened my door and got out, he automatically took my hand, and I looked down at our hands, mine fit perfectly into his as if we were a puzzle. I could feel the tears come but I blinked them away, I was going to miss this, I was going to miss him.

The day went by, I didn't pay attention to anything, I couldn't concentrate about anything all I thought about was the fact that I have cancer.

At lunch the others talked away and laughed, they looked so happy. I sat there trying not to cry, what would they do when they found out? Because I knew that I couldn't hide it forever, if the treatment worked they would know there was something wrong with me, how could I hide the disappearing for the treatments? the state of my body…but what if the treatment didn't work? They would know when I had to tell them I was going to die.

I sat pushing my food around my plate, I had lost my apatite. The table went quiet and I looked up they were all looking at me, it was only when I could feel the tears on my face that I realised I was crying, I had been too deep in thought to realise that I was crying.

"Bella, what's wrong?"

Edwards worried voice came from beside me, I looked at him and the clear worry in his eyes made me feel worse for not telling him. I never wanted to see that look in his eyes again. If that is what I saw when he seen me cry how the hell would he look at me if he found out that I had cancer?

I stood up

"I'm sorry, I have to go"

And I walked out of the cafeteria and went straight for my truck; I climbed in and drove off. I didn't care that I was skipping class, that I would get into trouble for it I didn't care, I needed Vikki, I needed her to make me better for Edward, I didn't want to hurt him, I didn't want to die.

I pulled up outside the hospital and went straight for her office, I didn't knock I just walked in, luckily she was on her own, when she seen me she got out of her chair and walked to me in such a speed it wasn't normal but I didn't care I needed her to make me better.

"Bella I…"

"I need you to make me better. Vikki please help me!"

She took my hands in hers

"Of course I am going to help you, I will do everything in my power, we have to do more tests and discuss what would be the best treatment for you. Then we will organise you first treatment. Have you told anyone yet?"

I trusted her, she was all that needed to know.

"No, and I'm not going to either"

She shook her head,

"Bella you can't do this alone"

"I'm not, I have you"

"No Bella, you need your family and friends, you need their support and comfort this is too big a thing for you to cope with on your own."

"Please Vikki understand me, I can't tell them it would kill them, they would worry too much and make themselves sick. I trust you…please trust me on this"

She looked at me for a long time, searching my eyes for something, after a few moments she nodded.

"If that's what you want"

"Yes, yes it is"

She led me over to the seat and she took hers behind her desk. We sat and talked for hours about what we were going to do, she told me about all the different treatments that were available, she told me what I was to expect, I would get weaker and sicker.

I left the hospital at 3:00, I drove straight home and went to my room I sat on my bed and thought about everything that Vikki said, she told me that she will do more tests to see exactly how progressed the cancer was and from that she could determine the best treatments for me.

I was knocked out of my day dream by a knocking on my window I looked over to see Edward, waiting on the tree for me to open my window. I went over and let him in, I went back to my bed as he closed the window behind him.

"Bella what is wrong why did you run off?"

I couldn't tell him, he can't know

"I didn't feel well, you know…girl problems"

It was the only thing I could say that he wouldn't ask more about. He nodded and sat beside me, he opened his arms for me and I snuggled into him, it was just what I needed right at this moment, I needed him now more than ever.

**EPOV**

When I got her text about her driving into school I knew there was something wrong, I tried not to get worked up about it, telling myself that I was being stupid and that maybe she just missed driving her truck.

When I got to school I took the empty spot beside, her truck. When I went up to her, I seen her she sit there like a zombie, she looked pale and there was bags under her eyes. I knocked on the window and she jumped as she looked over to see me, when out eyes met I could see that she was thinking about something, something was really troubling her I gave her a forced smile and she returned it.

She got out and I took her hand, a symbol that I was here for her, we didn't talk. When we got into the school and had to part ways for class, I gave her a small kiss on the fore head, she gave me a weak smile and walked off.

The day went by in a blur, all I could think about was that there was something wrong with her, I wanted to know what but I know that she will tell me when she is ready.

When lunch came she was in the same zombie mode, sitting there but not actually with us.

Alice was talking away about something stupid, I listened in but every now and then I would look over at Bella, she wasn't eating. Then all I could hear was this sob, we all looked at Bella to see her crying, the tears were streaming down her face thick and heavy. Her hands where shaking and it worried the hell out of me.

"Bella, what's wrong?"

I asked her, she looked up at me and then realisation flashed across her face, she didn't even know that she was crying. She stood up and looked at me

"I'm sorry, I have to go"

Then she walked out, I didn't know what to say or do so I sat there like a dummy.

"Edward what is going on? She looks like crap…you guys fall out?"

Emmett asked me,

"I don't think so, we were fine yesterday"

Everything was perfect yesterday, she was the normal Bella, what happened between yesterday and today to make her act like that?

I went to class when the bell rang, but I didn't pay attention, I couldn't pay attention all my thoughts went back to Bella and how she was acting all day, trying to figure out what was going on.

Because I didn't have to pick Bella up today, Emmett and Alice took a ride with me. Alice sat fiddling with the radio and Emmett sat in the back it was a funny site and any other day I would have laughed at it but not today.

When we got home I went to the kitchen to find my mother over the cooker cooking dinner, she seen me and knew that something was wrong she came over and stood in front of me.

"What's the matter honey?"

"I don't know, it's Bella, she didn't look well today. She walked out of school, she was like a zombie and she looked sick"

My mother gave me a little hug and reassured me

"Maybe there is something wrong at home, or maybe even her and Jacob are having problems, give her a little bit or room maybe she just needs some space"

It made sense, Jacob and Bella weren't as close as they used to be. Jake and I didn't see eye to eye, I knew he hated me for what happened when Bella went down for the weekend after our little misunderstanding and even thought he was the one who was there for Bella when she needed someone, I hated him too because the truth of the matter is that he is in love with her and I don't like that one bit.

After sitting in my room doing nothing but looking out the window for a few hours I decided that I had given Bella enough time and space. I took my car and drove; I parked a few blocks from her house and walked the rest. It wasn't that her parents didn't approve of me they, did and had even invited me over for dinner a few nights but they didn't allow us to be alone…at all.

So when we wanted time to be alone I would come over like this. I climbed the tree outside her room and watched her. She sat on her bed hugging her pillow, she looked deep in thought and it scared me.

I knocked on her window and she looked up at me, she came over and let me in and then went back to her bed, I closed the window after me ad sat beside her.

"Bella what is wrong why did you run off?"

She looked up at me and said

"I didn't feel well, you know…girl problems"

Her eyes were empty, and I knew she was lying. It hurt that she wouldn't tell me what was wrong with her, but I had to believe that she would tell me when she's ready, I opened my arms for her and she gladly snuggled into them. We sat there like that for what seemed like forever. Then she began to talk.

"What would you do if you found out that your life was going to change and you couldn't stop it?"

I had no idea where this was coming from but it added to the worry that what ever was wrong her was big.

"I don't know I'd accept it and learn to deal with it I guess, why?"

"O nothing just wanted to ask"

And she was quite again.

**BPOV**

I couldn't tell him, defiantly not if I couldn't deal with this he definitely wouldn't.

He stayed with me all night just holding me and showing me that he was there for me. I had another meeting with Vikki tomorrow, it would determine the rest of my life, and it would let me know if I was going to have a future or not.

It would be the decider if I was going to live or die.

**(A/N Sooooo there we go! How was it? O God I hope it was ok?**

**Just to say that I know very little about this cancer and the information will probably not be accurate.**

**Please review…please please!**

**x.x.x)**


	20. Telling Edward

**(A/N Hey hey guys…I'm so sorry it took me so long to get this up…my exams are over yay! Happy days! So I really hope you enjoy this chapter…and if you wouldn't mind dropping me a review I would really appreciate it **

**Yea I still don't own Twilight…looks like I am going to have to deal with it **

**x.x.x)**

Chapter 20

**Telling Edward**

EPOV

I lay there listening to her even breathing and feeling her heart beat on my chest, she was sound asleep, she was exhausted and she was keeping something from me something big, something that she is not coping with well, something she won't tell me because she knows I will worry about her.

I looked at my watch and seen that it was 11, I took my phone out of my pocket without disturbing her and text Alice to tell her where I was and that I was sleeping over, I just wanted to stay here with her my arms, because truth be told I'm afraid of loosing her, suddenly it feels as if our future is blurry I can't see what I could a few days ago, because it is only these past few days that I have noticed there is something wrong with her something distracting her.

I had pulled the blanket over us because she had began to shiver, this worried me a little maybe she wasn't fully over her cold yet because I want to open the window it's that warm!

Then I could hear her murmur at first I couldn't make any of it out then it got clearer

"Please Vikki…."

Then her body tensed and I could feel her shake

"…don't tell him…"

I could hear the pain in her voice

"Edward don't listen!"

She shouted a little louder I tightened my arms around her and whispered

"It's ok" I whispered

Her body relaxed instantly, her hands gripped the collar of my t-shirt, as if she was hanging on to me for dear life.

Sometime in the night listening to her desperate pleas for Vikki not to tell anything to someone or them, I managed to fall asleep.

**BPOV**

It was the worst nights sleep I had ever had, seemingly my subconscious agrees with Vikki, that I should tell my family and Edward about the cancer, but just like Vikki even my own subconscious doesn't understand that it will hurt them too much I don't want to be the cause of them making them selves ill.

Through out the night I could feel the nightmares coming on each one a different scenario with Vikki Telling my parents, or the Cullen's or Edward about my cancer, each time I would beg her and each time the dream would change to her telling someone else.

My parents knowing I could deal with I could even deal with the Cullen's knowing but not Edward, no that I couldn't cope with…mainly because he wouldn't cope with it.

I lay there still in Edwards arms, he was sleeping. There was a frown on his face the worry wrinkles were deep set in between his brows, I brought my index finger up to smooth it away, as soon as my skin came into contact with his he stirred and blinked.

After a few more minutes of madly blinking trying to get his eyes to adjust to the light he turned to me and gave me a small smile, I returned it, it was genuine I was just happy that he was here with me.

"Morning Wife"

He spoke planting a small kiss on my lips

"Morning Husband

We had started saying it when I was sick and was ordering him about, it was what he imagined marriage to be, him doing what ever he could to make me happy, he said that he would welcome it, if it meant we could spend the rest of our lives together, a future that I can't promise him anymore, it brought tears to my eyes.

I never thought that I wouldn't have a future, I had imagined different outcomes, some with Edward and I married with a family and one when I was in Phoenix with Jake after there was the little misunderstanding between us, a future without Edward there, it was the hardest one to imagine…but not as hard as this, knowing the possibility that I might have no future at all.

It was Edwards frantic fingers rubbing away my tears that made me realise that I was crying.

"Bella, please tell me what is happening,"

"I'm fi…"

"Do not say you are fine, Bella I am worried sick about you…you don't look healthy, you've been quiet all week, you're not eating, you day dream all the time and this is twice you have started to cry…please just tell me"

I hadn't realised I was so see though, was it really that obvious that there was something wrong with me? I panicked, I wanted to tell him so that he could help me through this but I didn't want to tell him because it would hurt him.

"Edward I really am fine, really"

He looked at me a flash of anger crossing his face, anger that I had never seen him direct towards me before. He took his arms from around me and gently shifted out from under me and fixed his clothes, doing so with a deep-in-thought-look on his face

"Right Bella if that's how you want it, look I know that there is something wrong with you it's plain to be seen, last night in you're sleep you were begging Vikki not to tell something so I'm guessing she has something to do with this. Bella I love you more than you could ever know…but if you can't trust me with you're problems if you can't trust me to help you…what can you trust me with? When you figure it out call me"

He was now walking towards my bed room door, I couldn't say anything because he had stunned me, he was right. It was hurting him more not knowing what was wrong with me, it hurt him to think that I didn't trust him, just then I reversed the problem if it was him that had cancer I would want to know I would do anything to make him better…so that was it split second decision made…

"I have cancer"

I blurted out, when he had realised that my parents were downstairs and was now opening the window so he could climb out. As soon as he heard me he froze, dropping the window shut and spinning around to look at me so fast my eyes nearly missed the action.

I sat there on my bed the blankets surrounding me; I tugged the blanked onto my lap and held it to my chest, snuggling into it, Edward still hadn't said anything. He just started at me as if he was waiting on me to tell him that I was only joking, I wish I could…I wish I could laugh it off, but I couldn't…not this.

"Cancer?"

It came out as a little whisper, his lips barley moving, his eyes wide now with the shock. I couldn't say any more so I just nodded, as it took him less than 2 seconds to close the distance between us he was there with his arms tight around me telling me that everything was fine.

"Bella, I will do anything to help you. So will dad, he will call in favours from all his doctor friends and Vikki…"

"No Edward, please no-one else can know…"

"What…Bella, they need to know, they can help!"

"No Edward they can't help, they can't take the cancer away. All they can do is look at me with pity and feel sorry for me…anyway they will worry too much"

He looked at me in disbelief; he took my hands in his and spoke with such emotion.

"Bella, they can help they can show you how much they love you, give you the strength to fight this, they won't look at you with pity because there is nothing to pity…you will fight this and everything will be fine...and it would worry them more not knowing what exactly is wrong with you, just like me"

I could see the tears in his eyes, I could also see hope and determination there too how could he feel so positive about this? Should I not be the one who should know whether or not her body can fight this?

Of course he wouldn't feel the changes, he wouldn't experience the pain first hand…he didn't know what it was going to feel like but yet neither did I.

He pulled me into his arms and hugged me tight,

"Please Bella, don't give up…please fight this….for me?"

I could hear the tremors in his voice and then his voice cracked and I could hear his sobs, at first I was shocked, The tough guy Edward Cullen player of the school who has changed his ways for me, plain little Bella, who had fallen in love with me and made me the happiest person alive…is now crying over the pain that I have caused him all because if three little words.

I sat up and the roles reversed it was me holding him, I wrapped my arms around him, holding him together…and it hurt me seeing him suffer like this, this is the reason why I didn't want to tell him.

After a few minutes his sobs quit and there was silence between us, now that we were bearing our hearts he needs to know this,

"Edward I love you and I always will no matter how this turns out, I want you to know that you have made me the happiest woman ever and I want to thank you for that, I have took so much and gave so little you will never no how much I lo…"

He shot up and looked at me in the eyes, getting on his knees on the bed and firmly placing his hands on either side of my face

"Do not give up, do not tell me this now…do not say goodbye"

I looked in his eyes and I seen that he was going to help me fight, it was that looked in his eyes that made me a little more positive about this, that look that gave me strength to tell him this

"We need to tell them"

He knew who I was on about, my parents and his family.

**(A/N Soooo there we go….I hope you all like it…if so please review!**

**I just wanted to say thank you to all you who have read my story, and reviewed or added it to their favourite's list…..it means so much THANK YOU!**

**x.x.x)**


	21. Telling Jake

**(A/N Hey hey…again….so another instalment…hope you like…..I am sooooo sorry for taking this long...I hope this chapter is worth the long long wait**

**Disclaimer- It was brilliant I was sitting in a café and Stephanie Meyer came up to and gave me the rights to Twilight and all the characters so from then on they were mine…yea then I woke up **

**x.x.x)**

Chapter 21

**Telling Jake**

BPOV

I got off the bed and left Edward sitting deep in thought to go and get dressed and stick on some make-up so I look a little less sick. I decided on my comfy clothes shuddering at the new stuff I had bought what seemed like years ago while in reality it was just little less than 2 months ago.

I put on my black skinny jeans and my converse, a loose flannel shirt and a hoodie, I let my hair hang around my face showing of my curls that I may loose, Vikki had said that it is most likely I will loose my hair if we decided to go the chemo route.

I came out from the bathroom and was crossing back to my room when my mother shouted up from the kitchen

"O Bella you're up! You want breakfast?"

The thought of eating made me feel sick, I think that was mainly due to the nerves because I knew that by the end of tonight some way or another my family would know that I had Leukaemia.

"No I'm fine mom…I meeting up with Edward we're heading out!"

"Okay…oooh your father and I are going down to La Push to spend sometime with Billy maybe you could come and spend time with Jake, it's been a while"

I cringed when she mentioned Jakes name, she's right though it has been a while. Jake and I drifted a little these past few weeks, he has more responsibilities with the pack plus he hates Edward for what happened when I went to phoenix.

"Spending the day with Edward remember? But I'll call Jake later and organise something"

That must have pleased her because I could hear her humming some tune with the radio; I went back over to my room to see Edward standing at the window looking out.

"You know…we could wait until you're parents leave…and I could walk out the front door…it's been a while since I done that"

He had a small smile on his face he was trying to be brave and positive for me I could see how much he was hurting but I wanted to hummer him with the 'being positive for me' thing.

"Yea…it's been a long long time"

I gave a little giggle, although I have to admit I do feel better now that he knows, it feels like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders and it feels good, I am feeling slightly more positive.

Then the thought of having to tell this to Jake came to mind, I wanted him to be the next to know he had the right. But if my parents were going down to spend the day how do I not be seen?

My expression must have triggered Edward as he was asking me what was wrong

"What's wrong Bella?"

"It's Jake; I want him to be the next to know!"

I could see by the way that Edward flinched that he still didn't like Jake; Edward had convinced himself that Jacob was in love with me…crazy I know, but that's just Edward.

"Well then we'll go down and see him"

That sentence made me love him more no matter how much he hated Jake he wanted to be there with me, so that I wouldn't have to tell my best friends that I had cancer a bad cancer that I might not walk away from, he didn't want me to be by myself.

"I can't my parents are going down, I'm not ready to be face to face with them yet."

"We'll call him and meet up"

I nodded but looked at the clock and seen it was only 9 and guessed that if Jake was doing patrols last night he would still be sleeping.

"I will, but I'll let him sleep more first"

He didn't say anything else to that; instead he changed the subject to something I wasn't expecting

"How bad is it?"

I knew what he was talking about I had yet to give Edward all the details. I wanted to leave some out so that he would worry less but he would know that I was leaving it out and he would manage to get me to tell him any way, so I gave it all to him.

"Vikki thinks that I'm strong enough to beat it"

"But she said it was bad, like really bad! She said it was progressed!"

"She also said people beat this all the time"

I was the only one being positive now. I think it had just sunk in with Edward that this is really happening.

Just then I could hear my mother shouting up

"Bella we're leaving now…see you later"

"Bye"

I shouted down. As soon as they were gone Edward jumped to his feet, his positive side was back and there was a smile on his face.

"We are going to spend the whole day together, doing couple-ly things just you and me…no phones…no-one we know…what ever you want we'll do it…heck I'll fly us to Rome if you want"

It sounded amazing perfect even, but we couldn't run from this we needed to tackle it head on he knew by the small smile on my face what I was thinking.

"Well it sounded good in theory!"

I opened my arms for him and hugged him tight.

"I love you!"

"I know…I love you too"

He went over and put my I-pod on the dock set and hit shuffle letting the music play.

I lifted my phone from beside my bed and called Jake

"Hey Bella"

He must have checked the caller ID.

"Hey Jake…you sound wrecked"

"Yea I am…but I'll get proper nights sleep tonight"

Damn…maybe I shouldn't tell him till tomorrow…No he would be hurt that the others found out first.

"Jake I need you to call by the house…I need to talk with you its important"

He heard the seriousness in my voice

"Give me…..5 minutes"

"See you soon"

And the line went dead he must be close. I looked up at Edward who was frowning again he seen me looking at him and said

"He's not going to like that fact that I knew first"

I had to agree with him, but Jake had to understand that Edward means everything to me, that I would tell him anything that I needed to before anyone else.

"I know, but he has to understand that you will always know these things first…it's the way it goes"

Edwards answering smile was breath taking, it even made me smile…well why shouldn't I smile why shouldn't any of us smile…I'm not dead yet and I might beat it so why shouldn't we smile…heck why should we let it get us down and upset?

That's when I made up my mind

"Edward we're going to smile and laugh and have just as much fun that we've been having all along we'll party and shop and have mad sleep over's at you're house with Alice, I am not letting this stop me from living my life if it's going to end up killing me…no way in hell will it destroy my last memories…"

I said all this with a smile on my face, Edwards smile faltered a little when I spoke of the cancer killing me or destroying my last memories…he didn't like to think about me not surviving it.

"We'll get through it…together…and we'll have a ball along the way"

His positive side matching mine for the moment, then the front door was knocking. I ran from my room to the door, I hadn't realised how eager I was to see Jake it had been weeks since the last time.

I flung open the door and there he was as soon as he seen me he was smiling. I hugged him and he hugged me back

"Jake….I missed you"

"I missed you too Bella"

After I dropped my arms from around him he stepped in through the door and closed it behind him, he seen Edward and his eyes hardened a little and his hand shook slightly.

"What was so important Bella?"

I was smiling and happy that he was here until he asked that, I didn't want to ruin his good mood he seen the change in my expression and suddenly looked worried.

"What is it…are you ok?"

It was Edward who spoke

"Jake lets get a seat, and wait until Bella is ready"

"You know"

It wasn't a question it was a statement, Edward just nodded and Jake sighed. We went to the living room; Jake took the arm chair on the other side of the room while Edward and I sat on the sofa.

I took a deep breath

"Jacob, I…well I haven't been feeling too good this past few weeks, you know head aches and all…so Vikki asked me to come to the hospital for a check up and she done some tests. They came back on Thursday, Jake I have…leukaemia, it's pretty bad and I'll be going for treatment soon…I wanted you to be the next to know, it's just us three that know now and Vikki"

He blinked a few times, he came to my side kneeling on the floor beside me looking for my hand, when he got it he looked into my eyes, and I could already see the formed tears sitting there.

"Cancer?"

He whisper-asked

"Yea…cancer"

"People die from that shit!"

He said a little louder and I couldn't help but laugh at him, both he and Edward looked at me confused, probably trying to figure out what was so funny about this situation.

"That's exactly what I said to Vikki…"

Then they smiled, I think they were glad that I wasn't depressed, well if they had have been inside my head for the past two days they would know that they were wrong, it's only really today that I have decided to be positive.

"Thursday…it's now Saturday…what took you so long to tell me?"

I didn't answer, instead it was Edward.

"She wasn't going to tell anybody…she was going to try and do it alone"

A tone of disapproval in his voice

Jake just looked at me and nodded

"Yea that would be you alright"

We sat there for another while just talking it over I told him how I was taking the 'being positive approach', he agreed that it would be better for me, he had said 'positive thinking and all that'

He got a text from Sam saying he was needed down on the reservation, he got up to leave and Edward stayed behind so I could walk him to the door alone. Jake turned around and took me into his arms

"Bella I love you, I loved you for years and I'll love for years to come. Keep positive… 'Each day is a gift…and not a given right'…I'll come up to see you tomorrow…there's a game on right…maybe dad will come too!"

I knew what he was hinting at he wanted Billy to be with my parents when I told them, what if I gave his dodgy heart another heart attack?

"Jake I'm doing it tonight. First my parents then the Cullen's, but I'll come down and see you and Billy tomorrow and tell him then"

Jake accepted what I was doing and nodded, he gave me another hug before he left and a kiss on the forehead. I closed the door and took a deep breathe, that went better that I thought it would. I walked back into the living room and sat beside Edward.

"Want to go out?"

"Please…I need to get out of this house"

We went to some little café for breakfast, my apatite was better now than it was this morning we had planned on going over to Edwards house after just to spend sometime with every one, I was hoping that Vikki would be there so that I could have a talk with her instead of having to go to the hospital.

As soon as I was through the door Alice was in my face

"Bella we need to go shopping…proms coming up and then we have gradation…"

I looked at her and smiled, Alice will be Alice and I loved her so much her and Rosalie really have became a big part of my life since I moved here…1….2….3…4..nearly 5 months ago.

We went to the living room, Rosalie and Emmett were curled up on the sofa, Jasper was sitting waiting on Alice and Esme was sitting on Carlisle's knee, they were such a cute couple it was hard to imagine that they were in their late 30's.

Soon after Esme and Carlisle went to the kitchen to prepare dinner, Emmett and Jasper grabbed Edward and played the x-box while us girls sat and talked about everything…the lasted fashion, new music…must see movies…hot guys that we would never want but nice to look at…

For those few hours at the Cullen's I forgot that I had cancer, and I hope that in a few months I'll be sitting here doing the same without cancer riddling my body.

**(A/N I seriously hoped that y'all liked that …please review!**

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	22. I can't give gentle bear hugs

**(A/N Hey hey… I hope you like this chapter **

**Disclaimer- I do not own twilight**

**x.x.x)**

Chapter 22

**I can't give gentle bear hugs…**

BPOV

The time came too quickly, I wasn't prepared for this. I mean how the hell do you prepare yourself to tell you're parents you had leukaemia? I enjoyed my night with the Cullen's, I valued the time I spent with them, I could feel myself making memories…remembering the good time's...so I can revisit them when things get bad as I'm sure they will.

As we where leaving, Alice was looking at me with raised eye brows a questioning look in her eyes, Edward securely wrapped his arms around me and tucked me close. We walked back to his car, and as usual he held my door open for me.

Driving out the Cullen's drive way I could feel the nerves getting worse, the butterflies in my stomach multiplied I glanced nervously at Edward,

"What if I can't tell them?"

What if I couldn't get the words to come out, this morning is was the fear of losing Edward that made me tell him, I know that I would never lose my parents so I won't have that fear to push me into telling them.

"I'll be right beside you, and I'll tell them if you want."

I nodded, then realised he wasn't looking at me

"Thank you"

"I'd do anything for you"

Charlie's cruiser was in the drive way so I knew that he and my mother was home.

I took a deep breathe and walked in, Edward right behind me.

"Mom Dad"

I called out

"I need to talk with you in the living room"

Edward and I walked in and sat on the sofa, he took my hand in his. Which was just what I needed, the touch of his skin to mine relaxed me a little. My mother and father walked in with cheery smiles on their faces, which fell a little when they seen the serious look on my face.

"What is it Bella, what's wrong?"

My mother asked me, as her and my father sat on the two seater opposite us, Charlie mirrored Edward's action, he took her hand.

I took another deep breathe and looked at Edward, he gave my hand a squeeze and a small nod, I looked back at my parents, I looked at my dad first.

"Well, I haven't been feeling too well these past few weeks, and Vikki persuaded me to come see her in the hospital for a check up, I went to see her and she done some test on me I got the results Thursday. Mom, dad…I.."

My father jumped to his feet and started to make his way towards Edward and I,

"You're pregnant…you aren't you!"

His face was a red…redder than a tomato, my mother had also jumped to her feet when she heard Charlie's accusation, she didn't any thing she just stared at me, wide eyed.

I was too shocked to answer, it was Edward who faced my father and jumped to my defence

"No Chief Swan…Bella's not pregnant…!"

There was a hidden emotion in his voice, and I swear it sounded like disappointment. I found my voice and took my place standing beside Edward.

"Dad, come on you know that's not me"

I looked him in the eye, his face colour was starting to go back to normal, but his eyes were still hesitant

"Really dad…our relationship isn't at that level yet!"

I said all the while supporting a deep blush on my cheeks.

"Charlie, come back and sit down. Let's hear what Bella want's to tell us"

Dad walked back over to my mother, he then fixed his eyes on Edward, giving him the over-protective-dad-look. I knew that it was getting to Edward because his hands tightened around mine, this time it was me reassuring him.

"Ok…as I was about to say…I'm sick, and I don't want either of you to worry, there is a chance that I will fully recover"

I stopped and looked at Edward, taking another deep breath When I seen his eyes I gasped…he was in pain…agony even. I could see the tears preparing to fall, and it instantly provoked tears from me

"Bella, how sick are you? What is it?"

It was my mother's soft gentle voice, filled with fear and curiosity that made me look back over towards her and my father.

"Mom Dad, I have Acute Myelogenous Leukaemia"

When I had it said I could hear my parents deep intake of breathe, Edward had put his arms around me and pulled me close to him, kissing the top of my head, my tears were freely spilling down my face, and I could hear my own pain filled sobs…where did the positive feeling from this morning go?

My mother ran to my side, on her knees on the floor tears flowing down her face, muttering my name over and over again, Edward still had silent tears running down his cheeks but was trying hard to stop, he took his arms from around me so my father could take his place, he knew I needed these few moments with my parents.

My mom told me over and over that people recover all the time, that she'll do anything to help me, my father couldn't say anything he was just stunned, he didn't know what to say, after all his only child just told him that she had cancer.

I pulled my self together for them, to show them that I had a little strength, I told them that I was going to find Edward and for once my father didn't get that 'I-really-really-don't-like-that-boy' look on his face.

I went in the direction of the kitchen were Edward had went and didn't see him there but the backdoor was open so I went out to the garden, and there he was sitting in one of the sun chairs, looking up at the cloudless sky decorated with millions of stars, I walked over to him and sat on the ground beside him.

I loved to look at the stars, when I was younger I used to camp out in the more cramped back garden back in phoenix when I had a clear view of the stars, there was just something about looking at them that relaxed me.

I looked at my watch to see that it was nearly 11 is was very late and I felt tired but I knew that Alice and the others would be upset that they weren't told tonight

"Edward, we need to go your house"

"I know"

So we got up and I told my parents where we were going, I told them that if it's too late to come home I will stay over and see them in the morning before I go to La Push, to see Billy.

As we were outside the Cullen's I got nervous, I didn't want them to know, this was my safe place, when I first came here when I spent time here with Alice and Rose I wasn't the new girl, it was as if we were friends for years, now if they knew I had cancer I would have no-where to go to get away from it.

I was hoping that they were all in bed sleeping but I knew when I seen Jaspers car outside that they were still up, we walked in and seen Jasper and Alice sitting in the love seat and Emmett and Rosalie sprawled out on the sofa.

Edward and I walked in and they all looked surprised to see us

"Hey, you guys forget something?"

Alice asked, Edward had went to get Carlisle and Esme

"Yea…forgot to tell you something"

I put on a little smile but they all seen through it, they knew there was something wrong.

"Bella what's wrong?"

Rosalie asked, just then Edward walked in with Carlisle and Esme, he told them to sit down and they did, it was just us two standing at the front of the room looking into their worried eyes.

"Ok, well as you all know I haven't been well lately, and Vikki has done some tests on me, the results came back on Thursday…guys I have cancer"

I just wanted to get it out no build up to it just straight to the point.

Alice stood up and looked as if she couldn't breathe, her hand flew to her chest and she squeaked my name

"Bella"

"It's Acute Myelogenous Leukaemia"

"Good God Bella, why have you left it so long have you started your treatment yet?"

Carlisle asked me the doctor tone clear to be heard in his voice

"No"

He stood up and walked over to me, he put his hands on my shoulders, and looked me straight in the eyes

"Bella, I will sort everything out for you, I'll call in favours and do all in my power to get you better"

"Thank you Carlisle"

Alice came to my side and hugged me, it wasn't over powering and crushing like her normal hugs this time it was hesitant as if she was afraid of breaking me

"Alice, I'm not made off glass"

It was Emmett who answered

"Good, because I can't give gentle hugs"

He said with a smile on his face as he was walking towards me, Alice stood out of the way and Emmett lifted me off the ground and crushed me in one of his famous bear hugs.

I ended up spending the night in the Cullen's, Rosalie told me stories about one of her aunts who had breast cancer, she told me that with the help of her family and friends and the excellent medical treatment she beat it and is now living her life again.

Jasper didn't say much he just hugged me and let me know he was there for me

"Everything will work out Bella; we're all here for you"

Edward took my hand and we went up to his room, we didn't talk, we just lay on his bed. He wrapped his arms around me and hummed my lullaby, Carlisle came up to say that he had me booked in for treatment tomorrow afternoon, he had called Vikki and together they decided that chemotherapy was the best way to go, some time after that we fell asleep.

**(A/N Hoped you liked it please review****)**


	23. If today was your last day

**(A/N Hey hey… so the drama begins…hope you like **

**Disclaimer- I don't own Twilight**

**x.x.x)**

Chapter 23

**If today was your last day**

BPOV

I woke up to the smell of bacon and it was amazing, right on queue my stomach growled at me telling me to follow the delicious scent, Edward was still fast asleep, I managed to shimmy out from under his arms and tip toe out of the room without waking him and without tripping…that I was extremely happy with!

I went down the stairs and I could hear the low whispers of my family, because that's what they are…even if I wasn't together with Edward the Cullen's have still became my family. I then could pick out Jaspers voice, Esme and Carlisle must have let him and Rosalie stay over last night.

"Alice, there is nothing we can do…only to be there for her when things get rough"

Figures they would be talking about me, but I hated the way I could hear the worry in Jaspers voice.

"But Jasper, I'm her best friend; we're like sisters there has to be something I can do for her!"

I heard Carlisle's voice next, at this stage I had successfully came down the stairs without tripping and was standing on the other side of the wall from the kitchen,

"Alice, Jasper is right. What Bella needs is normality, a lot is going to change in her life and she needs you and all of us to be ourselves, to not let her illness affect the way we treat her"

I stood for another few minutes, giving time for the subject to be changed before I entered, just then Emmett spoke

"But what if…she doesn't make it"

There was no answer only silence, that's when I decided to make my entrance

"You all get on with your lives and make sure that Edward moves on too"

All eyes where on me, some filled with tears, other surprise, but one pair with anger and surprisingly those angry eyes belonged to Carlisle.

"Bella, please do not think like that, you should not be having those thoughts, we need you to be positive"

I went over to Emmett, who's eyes were completely full of tears and put a hand on his shoulder, he was such a lovable person he looked so big and intimidating but really he was such a soft and gentle person, I looked at Carlisle

"I am being positive Carlisle but I'm also being realistic, you being the doctor in room have to admit that my chances are slim, you know that beating this cancer is not common. Carlisle, I don't want to die without accomplishing something in my life, I want people to be able to say that I done a lot in my life, as I was told yesterday by Jake 'each day is a gift and not a given right', from now on I'm going to live each moment as if was my last"

I had shocked myself with what I had said, but those words were still floating around in my head, the words held so much meaning.

"Bella, I am so proud of you, you have so much strength, you are like a daughter to me and no matter when if you want to talk you come to me, ok?"

Esme made her way over to me and gave me a hug.

"Ok enough with the depressing…cancer and death talk…lets enjoy these pancakes"

I said with a smile on my face and I made my way over to the empty stool beside Rosalie, it didn't take us long until we had the pancakes gone, Esme shooed us off to the living room.

Soon after Edward came down, rubbing the sleep from his eyes, as soon as I saw him I smiled, this man was so perfect and gorgeous…how was I ever so lucky to have him in my life?

He came over to my side, and I felt complete I had my best friends around me, the man I love by my side. Alice decided for us that we would watch a movie before I went to the hospital, there wouldn't be enough time for me to go to La Push and be back in time to go to the hospital so I decided that I would go down tomorrow.

I didn't even notice what movie was on because my mind was playing around with words, mainly what I had said this morning 'each day is a gift and not a given right, from now on I'm going to live each moment as if was my last' they just sounded so fitting, so I got up and went to look for a pen and a piece of paper.

Edward noticed that I was preoccupied with something and knew that I needed some time alone.

I went out to the front porch and sat on the steps, I wrote down those few words on the paper, I looked at them and waited for something to come to me, I thought back to these past few days, to telling Edward and Jake, my parents and the Cullen's then the words came freely

**My best friend gave me the best advice  
He said each day's a gift and not a given right**

Jakes words came back to mind,

**Leave no stone unturned, leave your fears behind  
and try to take the path less travelled by  
that first step you take is the longest stride**

Today I would be having my first chemo session, something I will be depending on to have a positive impact on my life, therefore feeling like a big step or a long stride hopefully in the right direction

**If today was your last day and tomorrow was too late  
could you say goodbye to yesterday?  
Would you live each moment like your last  
Leave old pictures in the past?  
Donate every dime you had, if today was your last day?  
What if, what if, if today was your last day?**

The words came naturally now, each one held meaning and importance to me

**Against the grain should be a way of life  
what's worth the price is always worth the fight**

A future with Edward…I would fight until I could fight no more

**Every second counts 'cause there's no second try  
So live like you're never living twice  
Don't take the free ride in your own life**

If today was your last day and tomorrow was too late  
Could you say goodbye to yesterday?  
Would you live each moment like your last?  
Leave old pictures in the past?  
Donate every dime you had?

And would you call those friends you never see?  
Reminisce old memories?  
Would you forgive your enemies?  
And would you find that one you're dreaming of?  
Swear up and down to God above  
That you'd finally fall in love if today was your last day?

If today was your last day  
Would you make your mark by mending a broken heart?  
You know it's never too late to shoot for the stars  
Regardless of who you are

So do whatever it takes  
'Cause you can't rewind a moment in this life  
Let nothing stand in your way  
'Cause the hands of time are never on your side

If today was your last day and tomorrow was too late  
Could you say goodbye to yesterday?  
Would you live each moment like your last?  
Leave old pictures in the past?  
Donate every dime you had?

And would you call those friends you never see?  
Reminisce old memories?  
Would you forgive your enemies?  
And would you find that one you're dreaming of  
Swear up and down to God above  
That you'd finally fall in love if today was your last day?

When I had it all written I read over it again and smiled, it was perfect, just what I wanted people to think about, I wanted people to value what they had in life and make the most of it when they can.

Apart from Edward, Emmett was the only one who could play guitar, so I went in and asked if he would come take a walk with me, every one looked at me worried but didn't say anything, Emmett jumped up and followed me out into the hall

"You ok Bell's?"

"Yea, will you bring you're guitar?"

"Eh sure, meet you out front!"

Emmett raced upstairs to his room and I went out front, planning to go into the woods just on the other side of the Cullen's front garden, somewhere Emmett could help me perfect this song, which I wanted to show my family and my friends.

Emmett came out to me and together we walked into the woods, Emmett kept on stealing glances at me, but until I was happy that we were out of view from the house I didn't say a word, once we were completely surround by trees and I knew no-one was close I showed Emmett the lyrics, once he read them he looked up at me and smiled

"You have talent Bella, is that what you disappeared to do?"

I nodded my head, and he smiled

"You'll always surprise me"

And with that he read the lyrics again and started to strum on the guitar, once he had perfected the tune he looked at me expectantly, it was as if he was waiting on me to do something

"What?"

"Sing it Bella, come on I play you sing"

I never thought of that bit, I was hoping Emmett would do both, but I suppose it would mean more coming from me, it was only for my family and friends and they wouldn't care if my singing was bad, they'd still get the message.

After we had went thought it a few times and had it perfected, I looked to see that it was soon time for me to be going to the hospital, and I wanted to go home and tell my parents first.

When we got back to the house Edward was getting ready to go, Carlisle had already left with Vikki and they were getting every thing sorted, I had asked Carlisle to try and get me a side room, I wasn't ready for the people of forks to know just yet, I didn't fancy becoming the new town's 'sick person' to feel there pitying gazes on me when ever I went to the shop, or to be approached by them asking me how I was feeling.

I said goodbye to the others and told them I would come see them tomorrow, Carlisle wanted me to take time off school, I agreed on just taking tomorrow off but I would go back until it was necessary for me to stay at home, I wanted to be normal for a little while longer.

Edward seemed a little more positive today and I think that was thanks to Carlisle who had spoken with Edward before he left for the hospital, telling Edward exactly what he wanted to know which was everything about my condition.

When I went home to tell my parents they were a little shaken up, they still hadn't gotten over my announcement last night, they told me they loved me and if I wanted them to come visit they would.

The drive to the hospital was nerve wrecking, I didn't know what to expect, or how I was going to feel afterwards, would I know if it was working? When we got there Edward insisted on carrying my bags, the woman at reception directed us to the right floor where we were met by Vikki and Carlisle, they took us into a small side room off the ward and went over everything with me, they told me that I would feel sick afterwards and a little weak, but that I would be able to go home tomorrow afternoon.

They left after that to get every thing ready and told me they would be back for me in ten minutes, then it was Edward and I left alone.

"Bella, Alice told me what you said earlier at breakfast"

I just looked at him not sure where this was going

"You're wrong you know, if you didn't make it I couldn't move on, Bella there is no other woman in this universe that could hold a candle to you, you are the only one for me. Without you I am nothing, without you I am no-one"

I didn't want to hear him talk like that, it scared me. I wanted him to be able to have a future without me if it came to that, I didn't want him to be alone if I died, he needed to be able to love again, have a family.

"Edward please don't…"

"No Bella, I will not love another woman, no-one could ever take you're place in my life"

I gave up trying to reason with him, because I knew if it were him telling me to move on I would say the same, some people may think that it's being melodramatic but when you love someone so much you would do anything for them, without them you're life feels as if it is no longer you're life, as if you would fall apart if they were to cease to exist…you really would do anything for them.

"Will you stay with me tonight?"

"Of course, I'll get dad to leave extra pillows and a blanket"

I smiled knowing I would sleep better with him here.

We were standing in front of the window, looking into each other's eyes; it felt like one of those hospital scenes you saw in a movie, one where one of them would end up dying just after confessing their undying love for each other.

"I love you Edward"

"And I love you Bella, I always will"

He came closer to me and kissed me, it was a sweet kiss one that ended quicker than either of us wanted it too, because Carlisle walked in and we jumped apart, and I could feel the blush creep up onto my cheeks, Carlisle smiled and apologised for bursting in.

I gave Edward a hug before getting into the wheel chair that Carlisle insisted on me using, just as I let go of Edward he whispered into my ear

"Don't let me forget to lock that door tonight"

**(A/N Sooooo…there we go hope it was ok…I don't know anything about Chemotherapy…so I will skip it and just skip to how she feels after it…!**

**Please review and let me know if I am doing ok with this…it's hard to know if I'm doing it the way you guy's want it!**

**Thank yhuu!**

**x.x.x)**


	24. Meeting Kevin

**(A/N Hey so the last few chapters have been all put up together because it may be a week or two before I get internet access again...I hope you enjoyed reading them as I enjoyed writing them...Hopefully it won't be that long until I update again...**

**Disclaimer- I don't own Twilight**

**x.x.x)**

Chapter 24

**Meeting Kevin**

EPOV

As my father wheeled her out of the room, I was on my own, alone with my thoughts. Alice's words still floating around in my head

"Edward, she thinks that you would be able to move on if she…you know doesn't make it, she told us that she wants us all to move on but for us to make sure you find love again…"

I know Bella doesn't see herself clearly, does she really think that I could ever love again? That I would get over her death so easily and fall in love with the next girl that shows and interest.

Bella is my life now, she saved me from a life of misery and hatred for myself, she saved many many girls that would get hurt because of the way I treated them, it was her love that showed me that I was a bad person treating girls as if they were disposable, her love that saved me and loving her is the only thing I want to do for the rest of my life.

I went over and sat on her bed, waiting for her to return. My father had told me that she would be weak and as her sessions continued she would get weaker, she would loose her hair and will have to leave school.

I know Bella she will fight this, not for herself but for us she will fight so we won't have to go through the pain of loosing her, no matter what Bella ever does she always makes sure that it suits every one else, even when she went to get her hair cut a few weeks back, she asked Emmett if it would be ok to get it cut a little shorter, she asked Emmett of all people!

I lay back thinking about these past few weeks, spending time with her. It felt so natural and easy like breathing. Our relationship is like no other even thought Bella and I have never had sex I still feel that deep connection with her, I've never pushed her to it, I've never actually let her see how badly I want her sometimes it's unbearable being close to her but not as close as I would like, but she has told me that she's not ready yet and I promised her we would wait until she is.

I looked at the clock on the wall and seen that only 5 minutes has passed, this was going to be a long wait. So I decided to go for a walk. I went out of the little side room and seen that there was a lot of people here, mostly young children. Carlisle had managed to get Bella put onto the children's ward even though she is over 18.

I went to the game area and seen a few young kids with no hair building a jig-saw. There was a boy roughly the same age as me playing the x box, he had a drip standing beside him and he too was bald, even from behind he looked weak.

I sat on the other chair and watched him play when he noticed me he hit pause and introduced himself

"Hey there I'm Kevin"

"I'm Edward, nice to meet you"

He nodded and the looked me over and with a smirk he said

"You with someone?"

I knew what he was talking about

"Yea, my girlfriend. She's just away for her first session of chemo"

He turned himself around so that he was facing me

"The first is always the worst. I can remember mine…"

He told me with a distant look on his face. When I took a proper look at him he looked terrible, I mean he was pale and so weak, his arms were so thin and he was wasting away. I couldn't imagine Bella looking like that.

"Edward, she may not come to this!"

He indicated at his body and that confused me, was his not the same as her's?

He obviously seen the confused look on my face

"They tell me I still have a fighting chance but I know the end is near, I take the treatment to keep my family happy to let them believe that I will get better but deep down I know I'm not going to walk away from this"

He said it with no effort to keep his emotion in check, he had made his peace with God and had accepted his fate, he had accepted that he was going to die.

"Have you given up?"

"Not really given up as such just accepting that I ain't gonna get better"

He said with a smile on his face

"Are you not scared?"

I had the question out before I had realised it

"Yes and no, scared that it will hurt my family but happy to be out of pain"

We sat there and talked for ages, he told me about his life before the cancer, that he played football and was big into sports, that he was the life and soul of the party.

"You see when I got worse I realised that my life was not as perfect as I thought, all those people I called my friends didn't actually care about me, I thought that they would come visit and help me recover but once I wasn't going to parties or throwing parties they didn't want to know me, these past few months I have realised that if I had the chance I would turn my life around, show people the real me and not what I think they want me to be…you see I wasted my life and for an 18 year old to say that…it really puts things into perspective right?"

He asked me and I agreed with him, in a way his life was similar to mine only it wasn't cancer that made me see the way my life was heading it was Bella.

"It was Bella that knocked sense into me, I wanted her so badly and she didn't want me because of my reputation I changed for her, I would do anything for her. When she believed that I had changed and became my girlfriend I've noticed that it's only now that I'm truly living my life she is my reason for waking in the morning"

Kevin looked at me sadness in his eyes

"Edward you are a lucky man, to have found something so precious, that's all I want you know. I want to feel like that for someone and have them to return the feelings I want to be in love."

I hated to see him so sure that his life would be soon over

"Kevin don't give up, not yet!"

He looked at me and nodded, not really taking in my words. He threw me over the other x-box control and we played that for a while.

BPOV

Carlisle brought me back to my room, I felt dreadful, sick and weak. I felt as if I wanted to get sick but I couldn't. Carlisle and Vikki helped me into the bed, were as soon as my head touched the pillow I fell asleep.

I had however noticed that Edward wasn't in the room when I returned, but I was too tired to ask Carlisle to get him for me.

EPOV

I was really enjoying Kevin's company, he had distracted me and my mind was off Bella and her chemo. Then my father was standing behind me and Kevin noticed him

"Hello Doc, haven't seen you down here in a while"

My father looked at the boy and smiled at him,

"I know I'm here with my son"

He pointed towards me and Kevin gasped a little

"Your Carlisle's son…well I didn't know that…"

The look of shock on his face was funny, the three of us were smiling, it was nice to see Kevin smile as if he really meant it.

"Well Kevin, I hope your doing good?"

Dad was in doctor mode and was preparing to quiz him.

"As good as can be expected. Just having a laugh with Edward here"

Carlisle stood up again and looked at me

"Bella is back, she's sleeping now if you want to hang out here for a while"

I shot up on my feet getting ready to go back to the room, but I felt guilty for just dropping Kevin like that, I felt as if I was using him to take my mind of things.

"No worries Edward, go be with her…maybe I'll see back here soon…tell you're girl I hope she makes a full recovery"

I went over and shook his hand, even thought I had only known him a short period of time I knew I had made a friend.

I went back to the room and seen Bella lying there, she looked pale and weak but still a lot healthier than Kevin, that was good it's when she is as weak as him when I really start to get worried, I went over to her and kissed her forehead and took her hand, I could see the faint smile on her lips, she knew I was here.

I had begged Carlisle to let me stay, and he had gotten me a pillow and a blanket, however I was not looking forward to sleeping in the very uncomfortable chair. But if it's all I get I'll take it just so I can stay with her.

**(A/N I just wanted to thank all of you that have reviewed, I didn't realise that this story was good enough to make people a little tear-y...so thank you so much and hopefully I can keep it up **

**x.x.x)**


	25. Blessings

**(A/N Thank you for all the amazing reviews so far for this story…I can hint that there may possibly be a happy ending for Bella and Edward but that may all change…I hope you like this chapter…I have to admit that I nearly got a little teary writing it…**

**Disclaimer- I wish I did…but I don't own Twilight…**

**x.x.x)**

Chapter 25

**Blessings.**

EPOV

Just as I was settling into a peaceful sleep I could hear someone desperately call my name

"Edward…Edward please wake up"

I opened my eyes to see Bella half out of her bed, tears streaming down her face getting ready to call my name again, I jumped out of the chair and closed the short distance between us.

"I need to get sick…help me"

She was desperate I knew that she was trying to get to the bathroom so she could keep her dignity in tact. I did the first thing that came to mind I put one arm under her knees and the other behind her back and swept her up bridal style of course that made her feel sicker but I rushed to the bathroom on the other side of the room and got her to the toilet and had the hair out of her face when she started to get sick, after she was finished and wiped her mouth with the back of her hand she took a deep breath and she heaved again…

"You don't need to see this…"

"Bella, I told you I would be by your side…and that means at times like this…"

She turned and got sick again, when she was sure that she was ok I got her a glass of water to rinse her mouth and she insisted on brushing her teeth.

When I got her back into her bed and she was all snuggled up I looked at her fragile form she had failed a little since we had been sleeping I looked at my watch to see that it was 3:00, I was just about to go back to my chair when she whispered

"Stay with me"

"I am Bella, I'm not going anywhere"

I went back over and planted a small kiss on her fore head and she smiled grabbing my shirt as I went to pull away

"No…Stay with me!"

And I seen that she had moved over as far as she could go, I took the hint and got into the bed beside her, placing my arms around her and holding her to my chest, I could feel her heartbeat begin to relax and her breathing change to a regular pattern…she was sleeping and sometime later I fell asleep, terrified that our time together was limited.

Finally it was morning, we had to get up again for Bella to get sick during the night at about 5:30…it really annoyed her she got a little panicked worrying that the chemo wasn't going to work…it took the best part of a hour to convince her that tiredness, weakness and getting sick was the side effects of chemo…but at times I think that I was mostly trying to convince myself that.

So when we woke up and 11:30 we were both shocked at how long we had slept, and when we seen the way our bodies were entangled I have to admit that we both blushed, just as we had untangled ourselves Vikki came in.

"O you're awake…Finally! You are extremely lucky that I am on the early shift if any other nurse saw the way you too were situated this morning they would have thrown you out Edward…"

She said smiling at us.

I owed so much to Vikki, she had discovered Bella's illness and was there for her when Bella was told, I owed her a lot.

After Vikki done some tests on Bella, she disappeared to her office and came bag with a big school bag and from that bag she pulled out some food.

"Edward your mother sent this with me this morning; she knows how terrible hospital food is…"

I was off the bed and standing in front of her in flash…God I loved my mother.

After eating the wonderful breakfast Bella and I just lay there on her bed, I had her in my arms and I was happy, I told her about Kevin and his story about how cancer had in more than one way changed his life, she felt sorry for him that his friends were pricks.

I knew that this would be the only time my father was going to allow me stay with Bella, so I was putting together a little plan in my head, I didn't want Bella to be alone I wanted her to have someone to talk to, some who knows what they are talking about…someone like Kevin.

I didn't say anything to her, but I was hoping that I would get the chance to see Kevin again soon.

Then my father came and checked Bella over to see if she was ok to go home. Alice went to school with a note from my mother excusing me from my classes as I was sick.

Dad was happy with how her body was reacting to the chemo and determined that for now she would be fit enough to have a chemo session every week…it greatened her chances of beating it.

BPOV

When we woke up the third time after the worst night of my life I was embarrassed to see how tangled up we where, we were both on our sides in the small bed, my head was resting on his chest with my left arm around his neck, he had his left arm under my neck coming around my shoulders and is right hand was resting on my ass, our legs were all twisted up…and it was nice, being this close to him, to know that even in our sleep we needed physical contact.

Just then Vikki came in to see us telling us we were lucky that she was on shift because Edward would have been thrown out for being in the bed with me never mind being that close to me.

I was happy to see that Esme had packed us food, because I hated hospital food…I didn't really have much of an apatite but I ate so that it wouldn't worry Edward.

When we were finished we lay back on the bed in each others arms and talked, he told me what he spent his time doing yesterday when I was away for chemo, he told me had had met a guy named Kevin who also had cancer, he said that he was a nice guy who had been through a lot.

He told me about how his friends dropped him as soon as they discovered he was sick that made me feel so sorry for him, because I know that not having my friends around me would make me miserable especially at a time like this.

Every now and then he would get a distant look on is face and I would wait for him to come back to me; I didn't want to know what he was thinking.

Soon after Carlisle came to see if I was fit enough to go home luckily he thought I was fine, he also told me that he thinks my body is fit enough to have chemo every week, that was both good and bad news.

Good that it would raise my chances of beating the cancer, bad that I would be in here once a week, feeling like crap and most likely taking forever to get over the treatment and most of all I would be away from Edward, there is no way Carlisle and Esme will allow him to take a day off school every week just to stay with me…and they were right I will not destroy his education or his future.

Edward drove me home, he carried my over night bag into the house. After my parents had hugged me and told me they missed me my father asked Edward if he could have a word with him, I knew by the tone in his voice that he wasn't going to be nice to Edward.

When they disappeared towards the garden my mom and I followed them to hear what dad was going to say and how Edward would react.

EPOV

I was nervous…was he going to shoot me or something?

"Edward, I can see how much you care for my daughter, but frankly I don't know if you care enough to stick by her through this. If you stay with her you stay through all the rough times as well as the good, if you leave her when she needs you the most I will make you're sorry ass pay…"

I couldn't listen to him any more, there was no way he could possibly know how I felt about Bella, I wanted him to know how much I love her, to know how much I need her…

"Look Chief Swan, I love Bella more than anything, if I could change everything so that it was me with the cancer and in pain I would do it in a heart beat.

I am nothing without her and I know that for a fact, because not so long ago I had to imagine a future without her in it and that was my own fault and I promise that never again as long as I should live will I ever hurt her like that again.

I know I'm not the man you want your daughter to be with or to love but for some insane reason she loves me as much as I love her, she wants me as much as I want her, Chief I want Bella to have any and everything she wants.

I want to make her dreams come true, to make her my wife and the mother of our children, sit with her on the front porch of our house when we're old and grey telling our grandkids how we met, how strong their grandmother was to beat a terrible disease that claimed the lives of so many people all around the world.

I want to be with her when we die of old age after living a full and happy life together…

And the mere thought of not having any of that is scaring the hell out of me, tearing my heart apart, making me hurt so bad that I feel as if the pain of loosing her could kill me, she is the reason I get up in the mornings and look forward to the day ahead, she saved me from a miserable life of hurt and pain, she is the reason for my existence and if I were to loose her I would simply cease to exist"

When I had finished I noticed that Charlie stood there stunned, I'm not sure if it was because of what I said or the fact that I was now crying and my entire body was shaking.

I kept waiting quietly for him to say something but when I seen the tear roll down his cheek I knew he had heard and understood me.

"I can see that you love her, I believe that you would do anything to save her and yes I agree with you, you wouldn't be the man I would choose for her, but now I know that no other man could love her more than you. I trust you with my baby girl, Edward I trust you with her life, her heart and her happiness and more importantly her future"

I know that you will take care of her and when the day comes your children too. I give you my whole hearted blessing to love, care and make Isabella happy. The only thing I ask of you is that you don't whisk her away to settle down and that you don't occupy all her time so she has none for me…"

Now we were both crying…very macho right?

I knew that this was one of the most important moments of my life; I was receiving his blessing to love Bella, to care for her and make her happy. I took a step closer to him and raised my hand

"Thank you Chief for trusting me to love your daughter, it means so much to me that you approve of our relationship"

He looked at my hand but didn't shake it instead he shocked the hell out of me by giving me a man hug, just then I heard her sweet delicate voice

"Daddy"

And then I saw Bella standing at the door with her mother both of them were smiling with tears rolling down their cheeks, she ran to Charlie and hugged him tightly, he held her securely and together they cried.

"Dad I will always love you. Nothing could take me away from you now even this cancer, no matter what I'll always be your little girl and I'll always look up to you even if I die…I'll always be near you"

He smiled down at her and let her go; he took her hand and walked towards me. He took my hand and placed it over Bella's and then put his hand on top of ours

"I know that nothing not even death will ever falter your love for each other, so now that I see the strength of your love I can step down as the main man in your life Bella and trust that Edward can now fill that role"

He lifted his hand and walked towards Renee who kissed him as soon as he reached her, then she said

"I am so happy that you trust him Charlie because I do too, I'm proud that you gave her up to him and I am glad that you saw the love he has for Bella that my father saw in you for me"

Bella held my hand tightly watching her parents, silent tears streaming down her cheeks.

"I wonder if I would be strong enough to trust a man with our daughter."

I asked turning to face Bella as her parents went inside, she crashed into my arms and I held her tight

"I'm sorry" She sobbed

"So so sorry"

"Bella…what could you possibly have to be sorry for?"

She looked up at me with a heartbreaking look in her eyes

"I'm sorry that I can't promise all that you want to be your wife and have your children, to grow old with you and be happy, I'm sorry that…"

I silenced her with my lips.

"**A/N I really hoped you like that chapter….and if it was good enough that you would maybe…possibly review…**

**x.x.x)**


	26. Plans!

**(A/N I am soooooo sorry for not getting this up sooner, life has been pretty stressing lately and all the stuff I was writing was really depressing and I didn't want to destroy th story just because my head was a little messed up…but thankfully I'v gotten over that and am now rewriting all I have done to make them better before I upload them…so I hope you enjoy…thank you so much for sticking with me =D**

**Disclaimer- I do not own Twilight**

**x.x.x)**

Chapter 26

**Plans!**

**BPOV**

I felt terrible after hearing Edward pour his heart out like that, I stood at the back door with my mother crying, when he was talking to my father I could hear the pain in his voice I could see the desperation in his eyes as he tried to make my father understand that he loved me, even though he has told me over and over that he loves me I never really thought that he love's me as much as I love him, he explained how I changed his life ending his 'player days'…then it clicked with me Edward was the player loved by every woman who he has slept with…but he is also the player that fell in love….in love with me.

Edward said how he needed me and wanted a future with me and as he was talking about us being old and grey talking to our grandchildren I could picture it all, and I wanted it so bad…that made me feel guilty and that broke my heart, what if I died…he wouldn't have any of that with me…and he says he won't move on…I want him too, I want him to have what he wants in life…to have a kids and a house with a wife to be old and grey with…he deserve it.

Edward would be an amazing father, an amazing husband…just then my dad started talking again, I could see Edward's tears and I took my mother's hand for support all I wanted to do was go over and hold him in my arms and tell him that everything would be ok…but I couldn't.

Then Charlie gave Edward his blessing, he said he knew now that Edward loved me, when he had finished talking all I could say was

"Daddy"

I loved him so much, through out my whole life he always protected me…he was my hero when I was small, my daddy the chief of police. I used to tell everyone in my class that my daddy was a hero because he caught bad people and put them in jail.

I ran over to him and hugged him as if he was about to disappear…or as if I was about to disappear.

"Dad I will always love you. Nothing could take me away from you now even this cancer, no matter what I'll always be your little girl and I'll always look up to you even if I die…I'll always be near you"

That was when he let me go and took my hand and started walking towards Edward, he took Edwards hand a rested it on top of mine, then he laid his hand on Edwards

"I know that nothing not even death will ever falter your love for each other, so now that I see the strength of your love I can step down as the main man in your life Bella and trust that Edward can now fill that role"

My eyes had started to tear again, this felt like a movie where the father of the girl would finally admit that the man she loved was good enough for her and then they would get married and live happily ever after…if only I was so lucky!

Then he lifted his hand and walked towards mom, when he got to her she pulled him in for a kiss and then said

"I am so happy that you trust him Charlie because I do too, I'm proud that you gave her up to him and I am glad that you saw the love he has for Bella that my father saw in you for me"

I held Edwards hand tightly as I watched them, and seen how after all these years they still love each other as much as they did when they first met…maybe even more. I didn't realise that I was crying, until I could feel the tears roll down my cheeks.

"I wonder if I would be strong enough to trust a man with our daughter."

Edward asked me as he turned to face me as my parents went inside, when he said that it felt as if he was sticking a knife in my heart and twisting it, he had no idea how much I wanted to give him all that he wanted but I didn't know if I could, and it hurt not knowing, I just crashed into his arms and cried the pain out.

"I'm sorry"

"So so sorry"

"Bella…what could you possibly have to be sorry for?"

I looked up at him and through my eyes and through my expression I wanted him to see how sorry I was,

"I'm sorry that I can't promise all that you want to be your wife and have your children, to grow old with you and be happy, I'm sorry that…"

The next thing I know he was kissing me, and I gave in to him and kissed him back, this was by far the most passionate kiss Edward and I have ever shared it held such raw emotion.

I pulled back for air, but his lips never left my skin, he placed small butterfly kisses down my neck and across my jaw, he was making me weak at the knees, just then something came to me…

If I was going to be having chemo every week I would soon get weak and have to quit school, there was one thing I wanted to share with Edward, something that would tie us together something that I may never have the chance to experience something that was so imitate that would be pure love and admiration.

I want to make love with Edward before I can't, before I am too weak to even move…or before I die if it comes to that.

EPOV

I put all of my love, emotion need and passion into that kiss, I needed her to feel that I needed her that she is all I want, and when she pulled away for air I couldn't bring myself to move away so I continued kissing her, anywhere I could reach her jaw line, her neck.

When I thought that she had time to catch her breath I moved back to her lips to continue the kiss.

A few moments later we both had to pull away because the kiss had escalated into something else, it had taken a complete new direction and heading somewhere were Bella had said she wasn't ready…then it hit me things have changed since we had that had conversation, back then we had the rest of our lives to make love to have our first time together…although it would be completely new to Bella and not me, I've never made love to someone before…but still I know the pleasure to expect…she doesn't.

She brought her hands to my face and waited for me to open my eyes, when I looked into her eyes I was mesmerised, her eyes where burning with desire…

"Edward I'm ready…"

God how long I've wanted her to say those words but I know she has other reasons for saying them, she's afraid that she won't get the chance again. I don't want her first time to be out of fear…it was something that had to be completely special and everything she wants…something she can remember for all the right reasons.

I done the hardest thing I have ever done I said…

"No…."

I said no the one person I could never say no to.

She flinched and I could see tears in her eyes…she had taken it the wrong way

BPOV

He was rejecting me, as much as he said he did, he didn't want me in that way, I took a step back trying to stop the tears that were forming I took a deep breath

"Bella…I didn't meant it like you think I do…Of course I want to make love to you…I want it more than anything right now…but I want it to be special and memorable, not something done out of fear. Something we can do without all this pressure you are feeling…I won't make love to until you have beaten this cancer…"

I knew I had to tell her this and I knew it would work

"…Bella I want you to fight the cancer, fight to live…and fight for your future…your goal will be to live…but it can also be to live to make love with me."

There was a sparkle in her eyes and she smiled coming closer to me

"You are a cunning man Edward Cullen. But I am already fighting, fighting for a future with you…so we can have our children and talk with our grandchildren on the front porch of our house…but I want this now…I want to be tied to you in every way possible…"

Every way possible?

"You want to be tied to me in every way possible? To share you life with me and make love with me?"

"Of course Edward, that's what is giving me the strength to fight…this mother fucker"

I had to smile at her choice of swear word.

I had never thought of this before, but now when I have the mental picture of Bella in a white dress walking down the aisle towards me I like it, I want it…no I need it.

I am aware that this is not the ideal proposal…but I need her…so I dropped down on one knee and took her hand, the confused look on her face was so cute and I smiled one of those big smiles showing nearly all of my teeth.

"Isabella Marie Swan…will you make me the happiest man to ever walk this earth and be my wife, to spend the rest of you long life with me and let me make you happy?"

The confused smile on her face disappeared and she was stunned, she stopped breathing she stared at me…

"What?"

She gasped…

"Will you marry me?"

"Are you crazy?...everyone will think you got me pregnant!"

She shouted…well that wasn't the reaction I was expecting,

"Who cares…I love you Bella and as you said I want to be tied to you in everyway possible"

I said saying her words back to her

"You really want me?"

She squeaked with a smile on her face and tears in her eyes

"No other woman will ever make me feel the way I feel about you Bella, you are it for me…my other half, the love of my life…my soul mate"

She put her finger under my chin and pushed up, I got up and stood in front of her looking into her eyes afraid that she was going to turn me down, but she said nothing and neither did I.

"O for God's sake child say yes…you have no idea what it's like waiting for an answer…trust me I know"

Charlie said scaring the life out of both of us, Bella swung round to see her parents standing at the door smiling over at us…Renee was crying but I could see in her eyes that she was already planning a wedding.

I wondered how long they had been standing there listening to our plans to have sex, but as I'm still standing here breathing and her dad told her to answer I'm guessing they didn't hear any of that, I looked over and seen that Bella was blushing madly…probably thinking the same as me.

"Dad…are you serious? You want me to get married…at 18?"

"Bella"

He said putting his arms around her mother

"I know what it's like when you find that person, the one who makes you completely happy…I know how it feels when you want to be with her forever…and I know that Edward loves you as much as I love you mother…"

She turned back to me

"You do know that you're not allowed to change you're mind?"

She asked me smiling as she said it, was that a…

"And I swear if you dump me at the alter…I'll hunt you down"

Still was that a…yes?

"I-is that a y-yes?"

"Yes Edward that was a very detailed yes!"

She squealed as she threw her arms around my neck.


	27. I have a gun and a permit!

**(A/N I am really sorry for how long this has taken me, so I'm not going to babble on any more...but can I just say that this story will not be ending like the awesome movie A walk to remember...I hadn't realised how alike the two seem...so I have tried to change the direction of this story...thank you...**

**Disclaimer- I do not own Twilight.**

**x.x.x)**

**Chapter 27**

**I have a gun and a permit!**

**EPOV**

After getting over the initial shock that she had actually said yes I managed to hug her back, after that things just seemed surreal. We were back in her parents house her father giving me the 'you know what will happen if you hurt her' talk and Renee and Bella were talking about the wedding. Well Renee was talking Bella was trying to change the subject.

I was staring at her and it was Charlie that took me out of my Bella daze

"And you're not even listening to me...so I'll just say this..I am a cop...I have a gun and I have a permit to use it!"

Well that brought me back to reality.

"Eh Bella, would you like to let my family in on the big news?"

Her eyes both brightened and dimmed at the same time,

"Alice"

Was all she said, but I knew what she meant this was going to put Alice crazy, she was obsessed with weddings...poor Bella!

Charlie was still trying to be all 'I'm watching you' and Renee was hugging me over and over again telling me how she knew I would take care of her.

The drive to my house was...awkward. It hasn't been awkward between Bella and I since that morning I turned up at her house and sang my song to her hoping she would see how sorry I was and how much I loved her. I turned to see her crying, I nearly crossed the ditch with worry I had no idea what was wrong, after I gained control over the car I pulled in.

"Bella what's wrong?"

She looked up at me,

"I'm scared"

I took her hand and searched her eyes,

"I am here for you through all this...I love you!"

"I know, Edward and I love you too, but things are so different now, I'm sick and I might not get over it, I hate that you care so much for me it will make it harder for you to get back to normal and everyone else, I don't want them to miss me...I..."

"Please Bella don't talk like that, don't talk as if your fighting a loosing battle!"

"I know that's why I'm scared, for me to get through this so much will change...and even after it will take so long for everything to get back to normal...how do people cope with this...how do they get threw it?"

I looked at her and it struck me she needs someone who knows what it is like someone who will be able to reassure her, Kevin came to my mind immediately. I had told her briefly about Kevin, and I knew that meeting him talking to him and hearing his story it would hopefully help her deal with all this.

"Bella tomorrow would your parents mind if you took the day off, tell them I bringing you to meet someone to help you deal with all this, I want you to meet Kevin."

She just looked at me and nodded, then she spoke

"Do you mind if we go and get this done...I'm feeling tired"

She did look pale but that's what is to be expected, it's the way it's going to be.

We pulled up on the front street of my house, I could tell that she was more relaxed, and seemed more happy and comfortable. We walked up to the house hand in hand and went in, My parents where in the kitchen and the others where in the living room.

We walked in and there was a chorus of hey's and hellos, they were watching some movie on telly.

Bella walked in and went straight to the sofa and sat in beside Emmett who had his arm round Rosalie. He looked down at Bella and gave her a smile, Bella smiled back and they both started watching telly, I went over and sat at Bella's feet, I couldn't even tell you what we were watching because Bella was playing with my hair bringing me near sleep.

The movie ended and Alice started to ask Bella how she was feeling, just then she surprised me.

"Okay this is how this shit is going down. I'm going yo tell you all something, you aren't going to make a big deal of it and then we are going to watch another movie okay?"

Of course she had every one's attention, she turned to me and asked me to go get my parents and then took her phone out to ring Victoria, who said that she was close to the house that she was all ready on her way over.

When we were all in the one room and every one was waiting on Bella to talk, she began.

"Okay, so Edward and I want to tell you all something...something that will change things and means so much to the both of us and we want to share it with you all...erm...Edward...I...we..."

I seen that her determination had dissolved and she couldn't get her words out so I came to her rescue and finished what she was going to say...

"..We are getting married!"

It was Emmett who spoke first

"Fuck off...no way...are you serious?"

He was smiling so hard he swung his other arm around Bella and held her close

"You're officially going to be my sister...awesome!"

Alice squealed and threw herself on top of Emmett to get closer to Bella, Jasper came and shook my hand and hugged Bella placing a small kiss on her cheek. Bella stood up when my parents came over and they both hugged her and then came and hugged me, Victoria stood looking between us and then shook both our hands.

As soon as that was done and we had managed to calm Alice down, we done as Bella had said and out in another movie, only Bella and I didn't sit and watch it instead we went to my room just to spend some time together, She lay on my bed and I put on some music.

At that second I didn't feel like an 18 year old teenager, I felt as I I was years older and I liked it.

I looked back over at her and seen her looking at her engagement finger, smiling it made my heart soar...

BPOV

It was hard saying good night to him, I wanted to keep him close all night but he knew that if he stayed with me I wouldn't sleep not wanting to waste any of our time together, plus I think it was hard for him to be alone with me in my bed after what I admitted to him about me being ready to make love with him.

I lay there on my own thinking about how tomorrow was going to turn out, Edward was a little off when I came back from my chemo he told me about Kevin and what he was going through, to be honest I was looking forward to meeting him, to see how he coped with all that happened and how it affected his life.

**(A/N So there we go another chapter...I'm sorry for how short it was...I'll make the next longer..please review and tell me your thoughts...thank you)**


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